I'm sure I'll get burned for this, but today I attended a graduate panel for my former nursing program. The students got to ask us questions about pay scale, what we enjoy about nursing, and how to find jobs... etc. Well all my fellow nurses went on and on about how you touch people's lives, and you become a part of their families. They love all their patients, and *tears flowing* we're just so honored to be like Florence Nightingale. They told stories about sitting around with their patients telling stories about grandkids, and exchanging pictures. The usual cliches; a patient doesn't care how much you know, until they know how much you care. I feel like an outcast because I don't treat each patient like I'm their sweet old granny.
Seriously the way they describe nursing is like a wal-mart greeter in scrubs. Don't get me wrong I have people tell me I'm a great nurse, and a great person. I sit with little old ladies and hold their hands when needed. But can we get the sugar out of nursing? Can we stop calling everybody sweetie, and saying how cute they are? I'm a professional, if you have pain I'll get you a pill, I'll call the doctor, or I'll try my best to fix it, but I won't kiss your boo boo. If you need to be changed, I will change you. If you're scared, then we'll discuss whatever issue you may have. I run my rear off everyday providing care for my patients but never have I treated them like my puppy. Furthermore I don't see doctors acting like Pre-K teachers with patients. Honestly as a patient I don't care how sweet and loving you are, if I'm having a massive heart attack do you know ACLS?
I agree with the OP. Not much is more cringe-worthy to me than hearing a coworker speak in the same, babytalk, falsetto voice to every patient (I work with a CNA that does this). Just wrong.
You have to individuallize how you deal with patients. Some need straight talk, some need some hand-holding, some need some humor. It all depends on them. You spend a little time feeling them out, and learn how they communicate. With one patient we had for a particularly long time, who could be VERY difficult, he swore like a sailor. I would take the time to listen to him when he needed to vent, and sometimes dropping an F bomb back into the conversation makes them relate to you better. OBVIOUSLY this is a few and FAR between situation, before anyone flames me. But, it made me more "real" to him, in his eyes, and we got along very well. Other times, he would be a little TOO generous with the swearing, and you told him straight out to clean it up a little bit. He would. If you tried to be all sweet and baby talk him, he'd eat you alive.
I graduated from a Holistic Nursing Program. By the end of the three years I was so sick of all the fluff! I will eat a bag of potato chips before I eat a candy bar.
Very interesting - I know that it's difficult, if not impossible, to determine gender or ethnicity on this site, but It's obvious that there are two "world views" being reflected here and they illustrate a textbook example of male versus female ways of relating to patients. There is a ton of literature on gender differences - and increasing evidence that they are pretty much hard wired into our DNA.
Of course, there are exceptions to every rule, but women are generally more comfortable with an emotional connection and naturally rely on this to connect with patients. We are more likely to filter our experiences through emotions also - hence, more 'feely' descriptors are used. Men, on the other hand are more likely to be more objective in how they perceive the world. They tend to prefer factual, direct communications. Given a patient need, both genders would probably meet the patient's need but the female nurse would be more 'contextual' and probably attach more importance to emotional overtones.
Communication is one area in which one's culture of origin also plays a very important role. In many cultures, patients are suposed to be fussed over, babied and nurtured -- no matter how old they are. So this behavior, especially among entry level care providers, is not unexpected. Likewise, if a nurse finds a great deal of personal satisfaction in making an emotional connection with patients, why can't we just accept this as a unique facet of her practice. Of course if this behavior offends the patient it should be corrected -- but in a respectful manner rather than using ridicule.
It's time to stop fussing about who's right - and time to begin appreciating diverse viewpoints rather than finding fault with our colleagues.
I feel like I should come back and restate my case. There is a difference between empathy and sympathy, I can understand what you're going through, but I won't talk down to you. And as far as me being a "nurse bot", no dice. I have been known to be the only nurse to gladly care for the obese woman who digs in her depends. Why? Because she is my patient, I don't giggle and go gaga over her boom boom. I treat her with the dignity and respect that a fellow human in need deserves. I love nursing for both the science aspects and the ability to help people. But can we stop giving our patients diabetes? I would like to take these same cutesy, sugary, teddy bear scrubs wearing nurses in put them in an ER located in the bad part of town. Lets see how quickly honey turns to vinegar after the 10th person in a row comes in seeking drugs and screaming profanities.
Specializes in Spinal Cord injuries, Emergency+EMS.
In nursing you form a relationship with a patient. As with all relationships, you only get out of it what you put into it.
and the relationships you develop will depend on your field of practice , in a longer term setting you are going to have a different and deeper relationship than in a fast moving setting,
we'll not even talk about the second family that some settings become ( spinal injuries can be a bit like that )...
Did you all not get enough hugs as kids? Nursing can be all science, if you want to be a nursebot. You could also be a auto mechanic, computer programmer, or plumber and get the same satisfaction. YOU chose a field dealing with living breathing people in need, maybe dying. It takes a village! If you think the art side of nursing is too sticky sweet for you, don't fool yourself into thinking you're giving your patients what they need. You're cheating them and yourself by trying to be the quintessential Mr Spock. After you're done flaming me, get a wrench and screwdriver and go do patient "care."
I can be kind without being sticky-sweet.
I reserve the sticky-sweet side for patient's pets.
Ha!! Where have you been all of my life?! I was always a bit of an odd duck in my nursing class because I held the very same views. I think people get too caught up in the "idea" of nursing rather than the reality of the profession. I always saw straight through the smoke and mirrors of the long testimonials about changing people's lives etc... I'm not refuting the fact that you do change people's lives, but it's not like they cue a string quartet, everyone hugs, and Rainbow Bright pukes glitter.
The Rainbow Brite reference just makes the whole rant. :lol2: :lol2:
I'm a level-minded, intelligent adult. I don't particularly want to get my acute-care nursing from Mr. Spock, but I find nurses who answer my questions with syrupy-sweet tones and cutesy words nauseating and irritating. There is a huge difference between empathizing with your patient while providing effective care and drowning your patient in unwanted treacle. Clearly, there is no one "best" personality, so there's always going to be variation in the way different nurses handle their patients. That's obviously a good thing, as humans aren't robots who all think and act the same way! However, just as I hope no nurse would be permitted to address patients in ugly, hostile tones without being corrected, I hope those who use saccharine voices and cutesy, little-girlish words will be encouraged by their peers and managers to modify that approach to some degree.
Specializes in CCU, SICU, CVSICU, Precepting & Teaching.
thank you. some of those sickeningly sweet nursie-poohs make me want to gag! i'd rather relate to my patients as adults (unless, of coorifice, they're regressing to their preschool years!) i'm old enough now that some of the med techs in my doctor's office have started calling me "hon" and "sweetie". that not only makes me want to gag, it makes me want to scream! i tell them my name is "mrs. vee." not ruby -- if you're inclined to talk down to me, you can call me mrs. vee.
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:lol2: 
cherrybreeze, ADN, RN
1,405 Posts
I agree with the OP. Not much is more cringe-worthy to me than hearing a coworker speak in the same, babytalk, falsetto voice to every patient (I work with a CNA that does this). Just wrong.
You have to individuallize how you deal with patients. Some need straight talk, some need some hand-holding, some need some humor. It all depends on them. You spend a little time feeling them out, and learn how they communicate. With one patient we had for a particularly long time, who could be VERY difficult, he swore like a sailor. I would take the time to listen to him when he needed to vent, and sometimes dropping an F bomb back into the conversation makes them relate to you better. OBVIOUSLY this is a few and FAR between situation, before anyone flames me. But, it made me more "real" to him, in his eyes, and we got along very well. Other times, he would be a little TOO generous with the swearing, and you told him straight out to clean it up a little bit. He would. If you tried to be all sweet and baby talk him, he'd eat you alive.