But I have little kids!

agent · Oct 17, 2003

Originally posted by jadednurse
I hear ya Tweety. As a single, childless woman, it seems like I always got stuck w/ Christmas, Easter, Halloween, etc. I may not have kids, but hey, I'm somebody elses kid, ya know!

I'm sorry but you guys are being really immature.

Once you have kids you will understand. As a guy I think it wouldn't be as hard to miss a holiday, but I cant imagine a new mother with little ones missing christmas.

You two should really wait till you have kids then see what your opinions are.

fcallicoat · Oct 17, 2003

Last year I was administration. I was supposed to have off on Christmas, and my supervisor was supposed to be on-call to supervise, if the supervisor called out. I was to do the same for New Years. I was also doing the scheduling. So for 6 weeks prior I ripped my hair out trying to get coverage for my facility. We ended up with alot of agency on the schedule but it was all covered.

Well low and behold after being up at 5 am to get things rolling, having a house full of people, and planning our big Christmas celebration for the afternoon when we had negotiated my step-son's visit, I get a dreaded phone call. At 2:30 PM I am told "you have a half an hour to get here. You have to supervise and work the floor. your the only one we can get ahold of who hasn't been drinking or deathly ill." (I was 4 1/2 months pregnant with placenta previa) I then worked a double because guess what same thing for 11-7.

Then I was told under no circumstances was I to be disturbed on New Years, but I got phone calls to trouble shoot anyway.

So the way I figure it this year can't be anyworse than last. And I'm not in administration so they can't compel me to come in. Plus I think I might start on the rum balls at 5 am this time. LOL.

Administration and schedulars hate this time of year too. No matter what you do people think your the bad guy.

debalina · Oct 17, 2003

here's my tale: talk about being taken advantage of - I was 9 mos on a floor - newest staffmember working 3-11. Told the supervisor that I would pay my dues and work Christmas eve 3-11. Little did I think that she would turn around and put me on Christmas Day 7-3 also!!!! The reason was that the day nurse hadn't had Christmas Day off in 2 years. Needless to say I had NO christmas that year. My husband opened the presents with my kids-5 and 3 while I was gone. Soooooo, I found a new job by the time the holidays rolled around the next year. Hopefully the supervisor had to do some holiday time!!

PS now I work in a school- holidays off !!!

bagladyrn, RN · Oct 17, 2003

Originally posted by agent
I'm sorry but you guys are being really immature.

Once you have kids you will understand. As a guy I think it wouldn't be as hard to miss a holiday, but I cant imagine a new mother with little ones missing christmas.

You two should really wait till you have kids then see what your opinions are.

I've been following this thread, but haven't felt compelled to comment until I saw this. I am a mother, raised my son and my foster sons while working as a nurse. I never expected any more than my share of the holidays. And unless you are working a 24 hr. shift, you are NOT missing the holiday with your child - you simply do things at different times. When I worked Christmas Eve night, my kids were wide awake and waiting when I got home to open presents. If you work days, celebrate Christmas Eve, or early in the morning - you know the kids are awake and anxious to see what Santa brought anyway. When the kids were trick-or-treat age, I worked it out with another single mom nurse - one of us did one year, the other the next. Thanksgiving was quite a treat when I went to bed and left the holiday meal preparations to a group of teenage boys!

I think some people need to get over their sense of entitlement and accept that this is part of the profession. No one should feel they have to explain or justify getting their fair turn at the holidays - whether they have kids, spouse or none at all.

Retired Nurse · Oct 17, 2003

We always rotated holidays. And could sometimes trade with others with opposite plans. Our kids adjusted well to changes in the holiday schedule. Now it's easy to adjust to their in-law schedules! Work isn't the only thing that can interfer with holiday schedules. Get used to it! :rolleyes:

tntrn, ASN, RN · Oct 17, 2003

I am totally with you, bagladyrn. The post about the "childless" being immature was out of line.

When I was a single mom with two small children at home, we had our holidays when we could all be together. Where I worked, you worked the Thanksgiving holidays or the Christmas holidays, so every other year you could plan far in advance for trips to see your families who just might live 1500 miles away. This was the perfect solution for me because I planned the holidays that the ex had the kids to be my holidays to work, and the ones I had off were my holidays with the kids, and we would go to Kansas to visit my parents.

My kids learned that Christmas or Christmas eve wasn't a day so much as a celebration, and they woke up more than one Christmas morning in another loving home, but their stockings were always hung and filled. I was blessed to have wonderful friends in my church who were supportive of us in this manner.

When I met my husband, an airline pilot, he actually gave me a test (which I didn't know about at the time) and a lecture about how he might miss important holidays or my birthday or whatever. I just stood there with my hands on my hips and said, " Hey, buddy, you're talking to a nurse. Our business runs 24-7, too."

And so although we try to have the day itself to celebrate, we continue to celebrate when we can all be together. It's the meaning of the season, not the dates. And if those of you who think we are immature (now that I don't have little kids, I consider myself 'childless' as far as this discusstion goes) I beg to differ. No one gave up their holidays because I had little kids; and I don't feel I should give mine up either, unless it's my choice and unless it's a fair trade for some other occasion.

I work per diem and find that the positioned folks want me to work for them, but rarely can they ever reciprocate. Always some reason, most of the time, the kids. Sorry, I can't go there. Therefore, I know for whom I will work and for whom I won't.

hogan4736, BSN, RN · Oct 17, 2003

tntrn...

Excellent point of view...and true

I have 2 kids under 3 years...

I don't expect anyone childless or not to cover my needs...

If it's at all important to me, I'll chose a place to work that has many prn, or rotating staff...

The date doesn't matter, it's the celebration of the season and the spirit/tradition of your holiday, whatever it may be...

agent · Oct 17, 2003

I just think the young people who whine about helping out people with kids are very immature.. thats all.

I could care less if you agree with me or not.

cannoli · Oct 17, 2003

It's not only young, immature people that hold that view, it's also older, mature people, and they have a valid point!

kids · Oct 17, 2003

Originally posted by agent
I'm sorry but you guys are being really immature.

Once you have kids you will understand. As a guy I think it wouldn't be as hard to miss a holiday, but I cant imagine a new mother with little ones missing christmas.

You two should really wait till you have kids then see what your opinions are.

That is a very narrow minded view.

"As a guy" if you don't mind missing a holiday then volunteer to work it. Personally I know a few fathers who would be just as disappointed as any mother to be apart from their children at Christmas.

It is sad when anyone who wants a holiday off has to work. Nursing is a 24/7 profession, new nurses need to know that going in and they need to keep that in mind when having children. Having children doesn't make a person "special" or entitle then to special treatment. I have always disliked working with people who waved their children like some sort of badge of honor.

The holidays are what you make of them. There are always alternatives, it may not be exactly what the person wants but how they deal with it is their choice. If someone 'misses' a holiday or has it "ruined" it is because it isn't perfect they choose to see it that way.

That said, I have children (and now a grandchild). My single mother was also a nurse, I and my children grew up being flexible about holiday plans yet never had to celebrate on a different day. When I did get a holiday off I often volunteered to work specific shifts because they didn't impact my plans and gave someone else the oppertunity to be off. Personally, working night shift on Christmas Eve or swing on Christmas Day was no sweat off my brow (and was good money).

mimslaru · Oct 17, 2003

There have been a number of people in this post who referred to entitlement. It's not entitlement to desire time with family, friends or alone. It is important that we as nurses not confuse a willingness to work some holidays with a presumed obligation we're expected to work because of the profession we've chosen.

We've got to advocate for working situations which are mutually satisfactory to us and the employer, but first and foremost to us. Selfish? NO...imperative to stave off burnout and allow us a balance between work and our other roles.

iliel · Oct 17, 2003

I don't think this is about helping out ppl with kids. I help out when I can, I even work for ppl who are of different religions when I can.....

But it all changes when it becomes expectant of me...just because I have kids or of a different religion.

like Jaded said...I'm somebody's kids too (and their only kid at that!)

Besides, as a newbie, I sorta expect to have to work thoes days.