Bringing your *new* baby to school....

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Problem here all....recent member of class had a baby. Now, so far our school has been VERY strict about pretty much everything. Now, I understand that this student is a single mother, on assistance and struggling (well, who isn't nowadays). But anyways she was recently told by our instructor that she can bring her baby to class with her so she doesn't have to miss time. We have class one night a week and we ALWAYS have a test that night because the rest of the week we are in clinical. A lot of the students are complaining that it is distracting, granted she is pretty quiet for the most part but she gets passed around from person to person to be held for the 5 hours we are there and it IS distracting! Plus there are people in class that have had to miss class time because of "children" problems, babysitter couldn't come or whatever....these students feel it is unfair that she was given the choice to BRING her baby to class but others missed time! Something just isn't right about this situation. I don't want to sound like a mean person because I DO want to see her succeed and finish school but at the same time COME ON!!!!!! :angryfire Am I wrong for feeling this way????

It is truely dissapointing to see how many women in nursing lack real empathy, isn't it? This has really turned me off to nursing in many ways.

Noone is "lacking empathy". Let's see, she's single, had a one night stand with a criminal (probably unprotected sex) and everyone should just go out of their way and be inconvienenced to help her out? She made her own bed with her poor choices and she needs to figure it our for herself.

As far as everyone who says You should be trying to find a way to help her out instead of crying 'no fair'. That is a load of crap! This class takes place at night so I am guessing that most of the student hold down a job while attending school. They may also have a family of their own to take care of. Why should they figure life out for her? They have a life of their own to figure out.

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Specializes in Labor and Delivery.
Problem here all....recent member of class had a baby. Now, so far our school has been VERY strict about pretty much everything. Now, I understand that this student is a single mother, on assistance and struggling (well, who isn't nowadays). But anyways she was recently told by our instructor that she can bring her baby to class with her so she doesn't have to miss time. We have class one night a week and we ALWAYS have a test that night because the rest of the week we are in clinical. A lot of the students are complaining that it is distracting, granted she is pretty quiet for the most part but she gets passed around from person to person to be held for the 5 hours we are there and it IS distracting! Plus there are people in class that have had to miss class time because of "children" problems, babysitter couldn't come or whatever....these students feel it is unfair that she was given the choice to BRING her baby to class but others missed time! Something just isn't right about this situation. I don't want to sound like a mean person because I DO want to see her succeed and finish school but at the same time COME ON!!!!!! :angryfire Am I wrong for feeling this way????

I also noticed in your other post you said that you're graduating in February? Is this woman graduating in February too? So, she's almost done school? So this can't be a long term situation huh???:rolleyes:

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Specializes in med/surg, ortho/neuro, ambulatory surg.

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Has nothing to with someoen wanting this being selfish. Quite honestly, i think it's a little selfish to expect a whole class to conform to my life. I doubt they were asked if they minded.

:balloons: YEAH well said!!! I completely agree I do feel for her but I dont think the class should HAVE to accomidate her either.

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Specializes in Critical Care, ER.
I think that's incredibly unfair. Having compassion doesn't mean accepting absolutely anything regardless of how negatively it affects others. I am sure her future employer will not be letting her bring a newborn along with her while doing her med pass. This class obviously tried to help their classmate. What is so bad about asking her to tape lectures or write her exams in another room if she is routinely unable to find childcare? No one is talking about kicking her out of school. I don't think that suggestion shows a lack of empathy. I think ROUTINELY doing something distracting in class shows a lack of consideration, professionalism and common sense.

Actually the OP never stated exactly just how "negatively" others were affected. Interesting, eh? I can only state what I feel which is that if this girl has to leave school it will be very difficult for her to come back as she will have to start working full-time to support her kids. I have seen this happen at least 3 times during the course of my nursing school alone. One cannot just look at numbers of people affected, one must strive to look at the acuity of the potential damage as well... in this case; minor irritation for a few vs. complete destruction of carreer and wellbeing for at least 2.

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Specializes in Telemetry, ICU, Resource Pool, Dialysis.
Actually the OP never stated exactly just how "negatively" others were affected. Interesting, eh? I can only state what I feel which is that if this girl has to leave school it will be very difficult for her to come back as she will have to start working full-time to support her kids. I have seen this happen at least 3 times during the course of my nursing school alone. One cannot just look at numbers of people affected, one must strive to look at the acuity of the potential damage as well... in this case; minor irritation for a few vs. complete destruction of carreer and wellbeing for at least 2.

I agree. It just sounds to me like the main complaint is "it's not fair." People are irritated because "it's not fair," not because the baby's crying, or otherwise disrupting class. Last time I checked, life isn't fair. Being a nurse isn't fair. If people are this upset over something so minor, it's going to be hard to function as a nurse, where everybody else's dirty job trickles down to us. You can't go around whining "PT was supposed to take care of this today, that's not fair..." "Why does she get all the interesting patients, and nobody offers them to me." Just the way it goes sometimes. Why get your hackles up over it?

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Actually the OP never stated exactly just how "negatively" others were affected. Interesting, eh? I can only state what I feel which is that if this girl has to leave school it will be very difficult for her to come back as she will have to start working full-time to support her kids. I have seen this happen at least 3 times during the course of my nursing school alone. One cannot just look at numbers of people affected, one must strive to look at the acuity of the potential damage as well... in this case; minor irritation for a few vs. complete destruction of carreer and wellbeing for at least 2.

The OP said that she and others were distracted didn't she? That's negative in a classroom when people need to concentrate IMO. If that was not important, every parent could bring their kids to class, other students could chat while the lecture was going on, people could walk in and out late, etc. The reason these things are generally not acceptable in school is because they are distracting to others and disrespectful.

I don't think she needs to be kicked out of nursing school, she simply needs to make other arrangements like all the other parents do. Several posters have suggested alternatives to her bringing a baby to class or dropping out of school (taping lectures, sharing babysitting with other students, having her parents watch the baby since they already watch her other child, etc) so I don't see a lack of empathy. I see people who would like to come up with an alternative that is acceptable to ALL concerned, not JUST the one single mom. I don't understand what people could possibly find wrong about that.

I also think it's being pretty overdramatic to call even the worst case scenario- her leaving school- as complete destruction of her well being or career. Other people have had to do it for a variety of reasons and it doesn't mean they will never be succesful.

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I agree. It just sounds to me like the main complaint is "it's not fair." People are irritated because "it's not fair," not because the baby's crying, or otherwise disrupting class. Last time I checked, life isn't fair. Being a nurse isn't fair. If people are this upset over something so minor, it's going to be hard to function as a nurse, where everybody else's dirty job trickles down to us. You can't go around whining "PT was supposed to take care of this today, that's not fair..." "Why does she get all the interesting patients, and nobody offers them to me." Just the way it goes sometimes. Why get your hackles up over it?

The flip side is that this single mom won't last as a nurse if she thinks her employer is going to accomodate her this way. Can you imagine saying "I couldn't find a sitter, so Jr is going to come with me to work on the medical floor"?.

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Specializes in ob, med surg.

[ It just sounds to me like the main complaint is "it's not fair." People are irritated because "it's not fair," not because the baby's crying, or otherwise disrupting class. Last time I checked, life isn't fair. Being a nurse isn't fair. ]

Yes, the main complaint is because it isn't fair. The baby might not be crying in class but anything unusual in a class room setting is disrupting. Like it or not, college and universities usually try their darndest to make the playing field fair, from race quotas, to requiring certain standardized test scores, and or work history to be admitted into certain majors (nursing is one!), and certain schools as well. The bottom line is most students are PAYING for an education and that is what they are entitled to. It is not right to change the nature of the commodity after the purchase is made. If the school feels that they want to adjust their policies to say that children are welcome, or classes will be held at 4am to accomodate more students, then fine. But it has to be mentioned upfront. I don't think that in regular in class childcare was mentioned when 'luvmy2angels' signed up for class.

When you are working as a nurse, YOU are getting PAID!! Stuff happens, you might not think it is fair, but....you are being PAID to deal with it. That's why 'luvmy2angels' situation is unfair and those students are right to complain. It is in that school's best interests to get that mom through school, and I applaud their efforts. But it is also in their interests to allow all the other nursing students to make the very best of the education that that school has to offer them.

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Specializes in 5 yrs OR, ASU Pre-Op 2 yr. ER.
It is truely dissapointing to see how many women in nursing lack real empathy, isn't it?

That was really uncalled for.

Being against this person bringing her baby to school does not mean that one isn't empathetic to her or her situation.

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Specializes in 5 yrs OR, ASU Pre-Op 2 yr. ER.
Believe me, if the school provided "free" child care they would just charge everyone else more money so it wouldn't really be free, especially for those that don't need the "free" childcare.

I agree. Someone's always paying for anything that's "free" somewhere.

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Specializes in 5 yrs OR, ASU Pre-Op 2 yr. ER.
The flip side is that this single mom won't last as a nurse if she thinks her employer is going to accomodate her this way. Can you imagine saying "I couldn't find a sitter, so Jr is going to come with me to work on the medical floor"?.

Exactly.

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Specializes in LTC,Hospice/palliative care,acute care.
I should be surprised at the heartlessness, lack of compassion, lack of caring for a fellow student..but I'm not. Good for you if you have a perfect life, never have something go wrong, etc. I came back to work 3 weeks after I had my second son and the assistant administrator suggested I bring in a playpen and other items so I could have my baby with me when she found out. THAT kind of compassion gave me the strength to keep going at work when I felt like a horrible mother for having to leave him so soon. Instead the company let me work shorter days, have my son brought to work to breast feed and then when no one was here on the weekend I could come in and bring him with me. I realize nursing school is very cut throat and many people are out only for themselves. I for one am going into nursing to HELP people, and that includes my fellow students with children who need to be cut some slack! I wish her the best of luck and I hope she's able to make it through school. :twocents:
The problem is that each and every student in the class has a heck of alot invested in the program and does NOT deserve this type of distraction....You can NOT compare a work situation with a learning environment....Many,many companies are becoming more "mother/baby friendly" as they should...But babies do NOT belong IN THE CLASSROOM....The other students should not have to jeopardize their own studies because of a classmates poor planning...IMHO she should be strongly encouraged to temporarily drop out ....Sorry-I don't have much compassion for a grown woman that gets knocked up in the middle of nursing school-Talk about self-defeating behavior...She can make arrangements for every other night while she is in clinical -if she can't make arrangements for the one evening in the classromm then she should withdraw.....
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