Bringing your new baby to school....

klone, MSN, RN · Oct 21, 2005

Okay, now I'm really confused. Is this a person that several of you here know? Gosh, now I feel like I'm gossipping about someone that is known by several posters. This feels icky to me.

SoulShine75 · Oct 21, 2005

Problem here all....recent member of class had a baby. Now, so far our school has been VERY strict about pretty much everything. Now, I understand that this student is a single mother, on assistance and struggling (well, who isn't nowadays). But anyways she was recently told by our instructor that she can bring her baby to class with her so she doesn't have to miss time. We have class one night a week and we ALWAYS have a test that night because the rest of the week we are in clinical. A lot of the students are complaining that it is distracting, granted she is pretty quiet for the most part but she gets passed around from person to person to be held for the 5 hours we are there and it IS distracting! Plus there are people in class that have had to miss class time because of "children" problems, babysitter couldn't come or whatever....these students feel it is unfair that she was given the choice to BRING her baby to class but others missed time! Something just isn't right about this situation. I don't want to sound like a mean person because I DO want to see her succeed and finish school but at the same time COME ON!!!!!! :angryfire Am I wrong for feeling this way????

I, personally, don't see anything wrong with this as long as she's been told it's temporary until she can get a sitter. BUT I think she needs to try her best to keep baby quiet and I think passing the baby around is a distraction to others. As long as she doesn't take advantage of it, but uses this time to locate some other assistance I don't think it's a huge deal. Everyone needs a break sometimes, and like someone else said...maybe there's more to the story.

JMO :)

Fun2, BSN, RN · Oct 21, 2005

I can understand where you are coming from now. I can't stand the "you owe it to me" attitude.

I am sorry so many things have happened in your life. I hope they get better.

Try privately talking to your instructor. She/he may not realize that anyone has a problem with the situation.

However, I do think you need to work on the way you handle your feelings. There will always be people that get spoon fed, being angry about it only hurts you. Is it the fact she is bringing her baby to class that is upsetting you, or is it the fact that she is getting all this help and attention and no one helped you when you were down?

Good luck. If nothing else helps, hopefully it will only be temporary, and not the whole sememster. (If the whole semester, then hopefully it will be only this semester.)

Just for the record I would like to let you all know that think we as a class have no compassion for our fellow classmate that WE as a CLASS spent over $400 to buy her diapers, clothes, A CRIB, car seat and tons of other things. As far as breast feeding goes I know a lot of women who pump so to me that is not an excuse to have to bring the baby to school. She is on assistance and makes it well known that pretty much everything is paid for her INCLUDING school, she IS allowed to take maternity leave and still get all her benefits and school paid for. I have 2 children of my own and KNOW how hard it can be, my husband and I had to file bankrptcy this year because we also had things happen, but no one came together and gave US money. I missed days of class because my husband was in the hospital and couldn't find anyone to watch my children, I wasn't given the opportunity to bring them to class, instead not only did I have to make up the time but had pay $300 for each day I missed!?!?!?! Something doesn't seem right to me. Call me uncompassinate if you like but I think sometimes people get used to "they system" and expect everyone to cater to them because they have it "so bad". Well, we have had it bad too so don't think for a minute that I don't know what it is like!!

casi, ASN, RN · Oct 21, 2005

I've seen kids in classes on emergency basis with approval from a teacher. I've also had a teacher bring her son to class (this teacher came to the final 3cm dialated and having contractions too... but that's another story). I don't mind that. I know that sh*t happens. I understand the teacher allowing her to bring the baby to class on a temporary basis, but this woman should be actively searching for childcare. If she is on assistance, she can get free childcare too. Children in classrooms are VERY distracting. You can only help so much.

moonbeamsmom · Oct 21, 2005

I had a friend who did this. It wasn't a big deal. I applaud women who are single mothers and are finding the strength to go through nursing school. I am married and it's still hard! I agree with all the remarks about having more compassion.

**RosesrReder, BSN, MSN, RN** · Oct 21, 2005

Just for the record I would like to let you all know that think we as a class have no compassion for our fellow classmate that WE as a CLASS spent over $400 to buy her diapers, clothes, A CRIB, car seat and tons of other things. As far as breast feeding goes I know a lot of women who pump so to me that is not an excuse to have to bring the baby to school. She is on assistance and makes it well known that pretty much everything is paid for her INCLUDING school, she IS allowed to take maternity leave and still get all her benefits and school paid for. I have 2 children of my own and KNOW how hard it can be, my husband and I had to file bankrptcy this year because we also had things happen, but no one came together and gave US money. I missed days of class because my husband was in the hospital and couldn't find anyone to watch my children, I wasn't given the opportunity to bring them to class, instead not only did I have to make up the time but had pay $300 for each day I missed!?!?!?! Something doesn't seem right to me. Call me uncompassinate if you like but I think sometimes people get used to "they system" and expect everyone to cater to them because they have it "so bad". Well, we have had it bad too so don't think for a minute that I don't know what it is like!!

You folks are all so kind and sweet.

Still stand by my opinion and believe she should not bring her child to school. Call me uncompassionate too and whatever but I do belive that if NOW is not the time for you to handle life and school then wait until latter times. I had to do it..............heck many of my classmates waited til their children grew up to go back to school and pursue their dream.

I too understand that no one chooses to be a single parent etc.

Life happens but you have to be willing to accept and deal with whatever life throws at you. You can get help and should but the rest of the world should not feel responsible. If she does it then everyone should be able to bring their children to school too.

I feel bad/sorry for her but she is not in a life or death situation. She needs to seek childcare help and/or take time off school until she is prepared to go back.

Again, judge however you wish, but I stand by my opinion. :clown:

Katydidit34 · Oct 21, 2005

I totally agree with you. We've just experienced that very thing in my area. Had a bond package to tear down schools built in the early '50's, it didn't pass but yet the city of Arlington, Texas voted to build a new football stadium in an already over crowded city for the freakin cowboys. It irks me.

I would have to go to the instructor and just ask if some accomodations can't be made for her during tests, etc. You are paying to go to school, there should be some compromise made. I can't imagine being a new, single mom, and try to go to school too. That would be superduper tough. I can certainly see both sides of the coin.

Pleas allow me a minute on my soap box.
It just bothers me that we do not have enough adequate trained child-care for working mums and dads in this country. Yes, I know its an individual choice to have kids and I know that we are all reponsible for our own family. But what about those folks, middle class and lower class that have to work just to make ends meet? What about those dads that have no mum to SAH? What about those mums whose dad has passed on?
If the true nature of a society is the value it puts in its kids, what does it say that professional athletes play in multi-billion dollar stadiums built new every 10 years with tax dollars while we have to pull teeth to pass a bond issue to fix our 30 year old schools.
As a single woman with no children I am still very concerned!
I will hop down off my soap box now before I slip!
p.s. This post was a personal observation and not intended to be an attack on any person.

Fun2, BSN, RN · Oct 21, 2005

I can't imagine being a new, single mom, and try to go to school too. That would be superduper tough. I can certainly see both sides of the coin.

Same here. I know it's rough on the mother, but I also can see where it's not fair for the students.

Seeing someone get handed stuff on a silver platter while you're busting your butt to make ends meet is always hard as well.

Goldenhare · Oct 21, 2005

I guess I don't quite get the "lack of compassion" attitude. Sure, bring the kid a few times if you have to. But she had, one assumes, 7 months to figure out child care. Here's a loaded question for all of you. Where's dad? Why can't he watch baby? Why can't he take baby to work? Is it because its easier to pass baby around a class full of someday nurses? (OH just because the other students don't complain, that doesn't mean they are happy with the situation.) As far as the 'stuff happens' attitude, if she cannot manage both aspects of her life, she needs to take a break from school. She can finish when her life slows down. I have recently graduated from a school that did not allow children in the classroom at all. Our school, and many others are VERY competitive. (We lost almost 50% of our class after the first year.) Anything unusual in the classroom setting is distracting, whether it be children, workmen, sounds of another class through the wall, traffic, or WHATEVER!) I simply could not deal with a baby in class lecture after lecture, especially during a test, and why should I? And why should 'luvmy2angels'? (For the record, decision making during tests is NOTHING like decision making during clinicals!)

What about the mom's compassion for her fellow students? There are many other ways to show compassion. Pick mom up, drop her off, babysit for her outside of class, run errands for, take notes for her, help her study, make sure she gets up for class or clinicals if she has had a particularly bad night with baby, make an extra casserole for her when you make one, etc, etc. I still say, 1) She should quit school for now OR 2) Tape or record lectures AND Bring baby when she absolutely has to. Personally, I admire ALL the single mothers that I graduated with. They are amazing! I could not have done what they did. But the classroom is not the place for children. ---Guess I should get another cup of coffee now HUH--yeah, I'll make it decafe!

PS 'luvmy2angels' does not need lessons in dealing with her feelings. She is dealing with them by posting here and not saying somethng in class that she might regret.

jschut, BSN, RN · Oct 21, 2005

We have a gal in the Senior part of the nursing program (I'm a Junior) that brought her baby to lecture...now, I cannot honestly say what being in the classroom was like, but I never head any remarks or saw any wayward activity because of the baby being there....

Good Luck with calming down about the baby, and if it really bothers you, can you talk to the instructor about it?

Fun2, BSN, RN · Oct 21, 2005

PS 'luvmy2angels' does not need lessons in dealing with her feelings. She is dealing with them by posting here and not saying somethng in class that she might regret.

I agree. I did say what I said because I am the same way. I can't stand seeing people get spoon fed, and brag about it. I also need to work on dealing with my feelings about that. It was not anything negative towards the OP.

NO1_2NV · Oct 21, 2005

Sorry if this has been suggested as I have jumped around in this thread but in my program there are a number of students who have teenage daughters who love to babysit. My daughter is one of them. We set up a sort of co-op deal where by my daughter babysits one or two nights while someone elses daughter will babysit other nights. We rotate the babysitting between us. This allows those who need help the opportunity to attend class and clinicals without the pressure of finding a sitter.

Now as for the money side of this. I have explained to my daughter that most folks are unable to pay her because we are in school so perhaps she can get tutoring or paper editing in exchange for her hours sitting. She also seems to understand that someday she may be in the same situation and will hope she is able to have someone babysit for her. That said, this is only for class attendance and clinicals. If someone needs her to babysit so they can have a night out they get charged the going sitter rate.

Of course this is only a suggestion but it might be helpful.

Good luck.

Bringing your *new* baby to school....

Bringing your new baby to school....