Bringing your *new* baby to school....

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Problem here all....recent member of class had a baby. Now, so far our school has been VERY strict about pretty much everything. Now, I understand that this student is a single mother, on assistance and struggling (well, who isn't nowadays). But anyways she was recently told by our instructor that she can bring her baby to class with her so she doesn't have to miss time. We have class one night a week and we ALWAYS have a test that night because the rest of the week we are in clinical. A lot of the students are complaining that it is distracting, granted she is pretty quiet for the most part but she gets passed around from person to person to be held for the 5 hours we are there and it IS distracting! Plus there are people in class that have had to miss class time because of "children" problems, babysitter couldn't come or whatever....these students feel it is unfair that she was given the choice to BRING her baby to class but others missed time! Something just isn't right about this situation. I don't want to sound like a mean person because I DO want to see her succeed and finish school but at the same time COME ON!!!!!! :angryfire Am I wrong for feeling this way????

Specializes in Nurse Leader specializing in Labor & Delivery.

Eh, I guess I just don't get the "if she can do it, why can't I??" attitude. Maybe I don't see things so black and white, but I guess I see that as kind of a child's mentality, where everything must be exactly equal among all the siblings or you hear cries of "That's not faaaaaaaairrrrrr!!" Yeah, I'd love to bring my children to class on days when they don't have school, or their school gets a snow day. But I *can* make other arrangements, so I do. I'm not going to begrudge the mom of the newborn who hasn't figured out arrangements yet (but who presumably is working on it). Different circumstances require different solutions. As long as the baby is not distracting me in class, my life and my schooling are not affected by whether this woman brings her newborn into lecture with her for the next month, so I guess I just don't get what the big deal is.

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Specializes in 5 yrs OR, ASU Pre-Op 2 yr. ER.

The big deal is that other people in the class might be barely scraping by, be on assistance or whatever, had a very hard time finding childcare, etc., but they wound up doing so, because they weren't offered the choice to bring them to class. Or even, they wouldn't have thought that to be an option (and no wonder, i've never heard of this ever being allowed).

So why should this student be any different?

And i ask this, because what are her arrangements for clinical days???

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At my school, we do have a "no children policy". But despite that policy, I personally have seen instructors let someone have their child with them during class in emergent situations.

Once it was a six-year old; he sat in the back with his mom and colored for the 2-hour class period and was an absolute angel (my son could never have sat that still, I'm sure she was proud of him)

Another time it was a week-old baby and a test day; the baby sat through most of the period and when it woke up/began to fuss near the end, the mother left the room and went down the hall to attend to the baby, then returned to finish her test after the baby's needs were tended to.

Both of these teachers were real 'rule sticklers', but I think they understood that this was really about compassion. If the baby had cried incessently and the mother kept her in the room to distract the rest of the class, it would have been another issue. But it was very discrete and really not a big deal.

I do not believe that one should have to choose between nursing school and their families. Nor do I believe that it is appropriate for the main plan to be bringing your children to class with you. But the fact of the matter is, things happen. I have seen doctors in the hospital bring their children in for rounds when life dealt them a rough day. It just happens sometimes.

I agree with the other posters who say, maybe you could help this person in someway. Assistance is out there, but do they know it is there? Maybe point them in the right direction, etc.

And one more thing- do not become too dependent on testing without any 'distractions'. Because in the real-world, outside of school, critical thinking will not be given a soundless exam room in order to happen. You will be put on the spot and asked to make important decisions and perform skills sometimes amid chaos.

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Specializes in 5 yrs OR, ASU Pre-Op 2 yr. ER.
In my school, nobody is allowed to bring children on campus unless for short visit (pick up paper, go to the bookstore etc.) Probably, there is a legal liability involved. I guess, you should voice your concerns. Although she obviously needs assistance with child care, I believe it should not be done on expense of other students.

And i'm surprised that the legal liability isn't an issue in the scenario at the OPs school.

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Specializes in 5 yrs OR, ASU Pre-Op 2 yr. ER.
As much as we would all like to be compassionate, there are some lines that need to be drawn.

I agree with this.

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Is she breastfeeding?

Some companies allow moms to bring breastfed babies to work for the first several months. Their formula-fed counterparts do not have the same option. Seems unfair, but from a health costs perspective, it's actually a sound decision.

Two words for this: ]breast pump.

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I agree with marie, there are rules for a reason. when you begin to make exceptions you might as well just get rid of the rules. as far as I am concerned, college is for those that pay to go there.

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Specializes in 5 yrs OR, ASU Pre-Op 2 yr. ER.
there are rules for a reason. when you begin to make exceptions you might as well just get rid of the rules.

Exactly. And i know it'll be said again, but feeling this way does not mean that there isn't empathy for her situation.

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I can see someone having to bring their child with them 1 time if there is an emergency. I do not think that this new mother should bring her baby to school with her. The child has no business being there, at all. It is not fair for the other students who are trying to learn. We have to pay for our education and should not be bothered by someone bringing there kid to class.

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Specializes in Geriatrics, Cardiac, ICU.
The adults should never have to be put in the situation to find out.

This whole class is accomodating one person. Who CHOSE to be in this situation. I seriously doubt the class chose to accomodate her.

And it's very unfair to the class as a whole to allow this to happen.

How does one chose to be a single parent or have a baby? There is no such thing as 100% bc (except for abstinence) and you can't control people who may die or leave you or choose not to support you. I never did understand the phrase" I have understand, but". It should be I understand so..." Let's find a solution to this problem instead of complaining.

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Specializes in Operating Room.

I thought I'd add one more comment to this thread.

For those of you asking about her clinicals...

The class is at night, I don't remember the OP saying the clincals were at night as well.

It's much, much harder to find a sitter at night than in the day. MOST daycares are not open at night, and many teenaged babysitters are not allowed to babysit during the week. If she is on public assistance, she may live in an area where she wouldn't want to leave her baby with the neighbors at night. She may not have family around to help her out, or her family may be too drugged out for her to trust them with her baby. For that matter, many people are scared of newborns and WON'T watch them!!!! She may not be able to find anyone to watch her baby.

We don't know the circumstances, but I'm sure this girl would be eternally grateful for the help she is receiving. She is trying to make something out of her life. It's a shame our society balks at people just living on assistance without trying to get off of it, and when someone does try, we kick them back to the wolves.

Again, I do not agree with the baby being passed around, nor do I believe children should be brought to school. However, I do know that I am a caring enough person to try to help this person.

Obviously if the baby is being passed around, the baby is not bothering all of the students.

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Specializes in 5 yrs OR, ASU Pre-Op 2 yr. ER.
How does one chose to be a single parent or have a baby? There is no such thing as 100% bc (except for abstinence) and you can't control people who may die or leave you or choose not to support you. I never did understand the phrase" I have understand, but". It should be I understand so..." Let's find a solution to this problem instead of complaining.

I never said anyone chooses to be a single parent, i'm well aware there are people that do choose to be, and those that didn't choose or had no choice. My father was one of those.

I guess i come from the philosophy that when you choose to do something, you're also choosing its possible consequences (and i'm not refering to single parenthood).

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