Best MD note

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There may or may not be a thread like this but I couldn't resist sharing. This weekend I was digging through my patient's chart trying to learn more about his history when I came across a note by the attending cardiologist. It said, and I quote: "Patient is stable, no complaints. Was screaming 'Kibbles and Bits!' repeatedly upon my arrival. Of note, patient does not have a dog." I couldn't help but laugh. Anybody else come across some interesting notes in their charts?

Specializes in ICU, ED, Trauma, Transplant.

A urologist I worked with years ago at a hospital wrote an order for Viagra. I was confused ("who needs a Viagra when they're staying in the hospital?") but just assumed that it was given to this elderly man because he had BPH. Until I finished reading the entire order: "QD PRN for horniness".

Still shaking my head at that one. Can't believe that doc had the gall to write that in a chart! Hahaha!

:lol2: :lol2: :lol2: :lol2: :lol2: :lol2:

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We have a dementia pt that says the most random things sometimes and I read a hospitalist note that said: "Pt states 'i fell in love with my foley in the shower this morning' a comment I chose to gloss over" hahaha

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Specializes in Hospice & Palliative Care, Oncology, M/S.

Discharge orders reading: "Please get this patient the hell out of here a.s.a.p."

Catheterized pt had this comment in his chart: "I discussed with pt the possibility of yanking his goods off if he kept pulling at the Foley. Please use a whole roll of tape if necessary."

I about fell over laughing.

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Specializes in Trauma Surgery, Nursing Management.

A fed up resident wrote: "Please refer to STANDING ORDERS for Tylenol instead of paging the on-call resident repeatedly in the middle of the night. Thank you for reading, comprehending and implementing this order. Good night, again."

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Specializes in ICU/CCU, WOC, EMR.

After a standard H&P, a cardiologist wrote at the end of his note: "General old lady care". Hmmm, was that the S or the P? Haha! Wonder how many charts he wrote that on!:redbeathe

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Specializes in Nephrology.

A pt had been discharged from hospital without a cause being found for his symptoms. When he was admitted again a week later with the same symptoms the admitting diagnosis was "Recurrence of whatever".

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OB doc referred to the well known local family of the newborn babe as "The Mullet Family". :coollook:

Lots of thinly veiled hints at criticizing other docs in the progress notes sometimes. Wish I could remember them.

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Specializes in Neuro ICU and Med Surg.

"Pt found lying on ground with his head bleeding. There was a brick next to him. He was probably hit in the head with a brick." This was in the H&P.

An order from our NP "Stop somanetics voodoo."

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Specializes in Med-Surg.

Had a patient come in for abdominal pain. Our on-call GI doc wrote after a very detailed assessment note: "I have NO CLUE what is going on!"

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In surgical report on pt who had to have whole apple removed from rectum..."Instructed pt in proper intake of fiber."I kid you not. Hee Hee!

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Specializes in Med/Surg; Women's Health.

My husband used to work as a film librarian in the Radiology Dept. This particular transcription report read "FOS". He asked the Radiologist what it meant and he responded, "Full of s*it"!!

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Specializes in Med/Surg; Women's Health.

When I worked in the OR, we had a problem with surgeons filling out the POST OP progress note BEFORE the surgery and they would forget to date and time them. To prevent errors and promote safe practice, we moved the note to the OR so they couldn't get to them before the procedure. At any rate, one surgeon who was fed up with being called back to the PACU to put the time on the form actually put the time down, as Central European Time!! SMH

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