Best ER Nurse quotes

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Specializes in ER.

To the loudly snoring ETOHer found in an Auto Repair Shop: "Maybe she needs her air filter changed."

To the drug seeker throwing out his best pseudo-seizure: "Sir, that's not a seizure. Stop shaking." Response by pt: Immediately sits straight up and says, "I'm fine... sometimes that happens."

From security guard to combative ETOHer being introduced to his very first Foley: "Just relax and enjoy it!"

Triage nurse note: "Pt presents with L wrist pain, fell while off-road unicycling."

Charge nurse to triage nurse: "I think that 'member suture removal' needs to be upgraded to a level 1."

I think this could turn into a good thread. :wink2:

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Specializes in ICU, ER, RESEARCH, REHAB, HOME HEALTH, QUALITY.

I love it.. expecially Charge nurse to triage nurse: "I think that 'member suture removal' needs to be upgraded to a level 1."

too funny

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Specializes in Critical Care/Teaching.

"Never put anything is your butt that you cannot get out later":yeah::yeah:

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There is a reason they say "Don't try this at home".

Never try anything you wouldn't want to explain to an ER nurse.

I love this thread.

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Specializes in EMS, ED, Trauma, CEN, CPEN, TCRN.

One of my coworkers always liked to say, "You can't cure [or fix] stupid." (I actually had a chainsaw-vs.-thigh patient jokingly say something to me like, "My stupidity keeps you employed/pays your mortgage." LOL)

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Specializes in Emergency/Trauma/Critical Care Nursing.

Trauma Junkie: "it's not that i WANT you to get hurt... it's just that i want to be there when you do"

crackheads = job security

i'm here to save your as*, not kiss it!

you know you're a nurse when you avoid sick looking people at the grocery store for fear you'll have to do CPR on your day off

:yeah:

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Specializes in Trauma/ED.

Cut a wedding ring off a member once...pt stated, "I just wanted to see if I could get it in there." Wife was bright red in the corner...:-)

Sent a male patient with a 14" "toy" up his rectum to surgery, even put the handle up there...yikers (not really a quote but funny)

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Cut a wedding ring off a member once...pt stated, "I just wanted to see if I could get it in there." Wife was bright red in the corner...:-)

Sent a male patient with a 14" "toy" up his rectum to surgery, even put the handle up there...yikers (not really a quote but funny)

As far as the wedding ring is concerned, he either has a big finger or a little member. I've heard of people doing this before.

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Specializes in CCU, SICU, CVSICU, Precepting & Teaching.

great thread!

i'm an icu nurse -- i heard this one on my last trip to er as a patient: from triage nurse to the mother of twenty-something year old male having a tantrum in the er waiting room, "he wants to go home if we don't take him back immediately? drive carefully!"

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Specializes in ICU,OR,PACU,ER.

I once heard one of my co-workers, with a straight face, tell a frequent flyer, drug seeking patient in triage........"Pain is natures way of telling us to slow down." followed by about 30 seconds of dead air.....

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Specializes in ER.

About the mom who brings in her 5 year old with cp of fever who didn't check temp. at home and didn't give an antipyretic ie... tylenol. "I just brought him here".

My ER director will say "well, we aint tried nothing and were all out of ideas"

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Specializes in ER - trauma/cardiac/burns. IV start spec.

My best ER lines - hum I will have to dig out my old journals. I tend to remember people for one of two reasons 1: really really really dumb names and 2 even dumber reasons for coming to the ER.

Example of #1 Shithead J****. Work on it,:thnkg:

Example of #2 New construction worker wondered if nail gun would actually nail his fingers together. Yep it did.:smokin:

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