I know we've had these threads before... but we are getting as restless as the kiddos and we need a laugh.
Share your best "Are you freaking kidding me, Kid?!?!" complaint (from anytime, I just notice they become more off the wall the closer we are to summer or another break)... and let's all remember that another adult (teacher) had to clear these kids to come see us first...)
My two best ones came from the same fifth grade student a couple days apart.
Student: My earlobes feel squishy
Me: ...ok. Did you hurt them in some way?
Student: Nope. Just feel squishy
Me: That's not really an issue. Head back to class.
Student: It feels like all my bones are turning to mush.
Me: Well, you walked in here ok, so I thing they'll be ok.
My kids are all just coming in with a tiny dab of blood after scratching their mosquito bite(s) until they bleed. Even though I send band-aids to the classrooms, the teachers still love to send the kids to me for one. The tiny bit of blood is basically dried to a scab by the time they get time me. :sigh:
Specializes in Hospital medicine; NP precepting; staff education.
I had a first grader that came in yesterday with a stomach ache that had been bothering her since last night. She told be very matter of factly that it was from cancer and her grandmother told her so - uhhhhhhh... i gently suggested the bathroom with great success. I am a bit worried about grandma and what she is telling the six year old but honestly i think i'm running out of steam to chase that windmill
Me: "I don't want you to borrow a pad, you may have one. I do not want it back, please. Gross."
Student started laughing.
Ha!
When kids come in holding out a tooth and say "I lost a tooth!!" I do "Awesome!! Can I have it???" and hold my hand out... they always go to put it in my hand and I pull it back and say "Gross! I don't want that! It was in your mouth! Grab a toothbox"
I really do have a shower in my office, it's currently being used as a storage area. I had a PreK teacher stop by today while I was cleaning out some things from the dark ages. (I found some oddly interesting items from the previous nurse...now I know why she isn't there anymore) Anyway, this pre K aide sees the cleaned out shower stall in and gets all excited saying "now we can give that kid a bath" Ah NO NO NO, this girl likes her license and plans to keep it!
It always suprises me when you guys say you don't send kids home. I send home EVERY kid that asks to go. If not, they call their parent and the parent calls the superintendent that I'm neglecting their poor baby. I got called on the carpet once for not calling a mom 15 minutes before dismissal for c/o menstrual cramps. Rarely do I have a parent tell their child to go back to class even thought I advise it. I have sent kids home to go golfing, to nap before their game that night. Am I the only one with no power?
It always suprises me when you guys say you don't send kids home. I send home EVERY kid that asks to go. If not, they call their parent and the parent calls the superintendent that I'm neglecting their poor baby. I got called on the carpet once for not calling a mom 15 minutes before dismissal for c/o menstrual cramps. Rarely do I have a parent tell their child to go back to class even thought I advise it. I have sent kids home to go golfing, to nap before their game that night. Am I the only one with no power?
My students rarely straight up ask to go home. Those who do, say things like "my head really hurts, can you call my mom?" Or "I fell and my nose started bleeding and my mouth hurts and I really just want to go home." I tell the student I still have to assess them first. When I call the parent I tell them if I don't think they have to go home. But ultimately unless it's a frequent flyer I feel like the parent has a right to know when a child is outright asking to go home. However, no parent would complain about me to anyone (at least so far) so I feel for you and the position you're in.
Specializes in Cardiology, School Nursing, General.
It always suprises me when you guys say you don't send kids home. I send home EVERY kid that asks to go. If not, they call their parent and the parent calls the superintendent that I'm neglecting their poor baby. I got called on the carpet once for not calling a mom 15 minutes before dismissal for c/o menstrual cramps. Rarely do I have a parent tell their child to go back to class even thought I advise it. I have sent kids home to go golfing, to nap before their game that night. Am I the only one with no power?
I call their parents, and ask them what they would like to do and I give them my findings. They can talk to the student and see what they would like to do with them.
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NanaPoo
762 Posts
Yes, you should have given her a complete shower then they would have sued you for bathing their naked child.
Good times!