Being Gay and a Male Nursing Student

Nursing Students Male Students

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I'm aware that the words 'Gay' and 'Nursing' may somehow go hand-and-hand for some, and others may find it comical, but I've found it quite uncomfortable being gay and a male, nursing student simply because people tend to treat you differently-whether that is not being taken seriously or socially treated like one of the women nurses and/or techs.

Although I keep my personal and work life separate and I have a passion for nursing, but many people still seem to pick up that "vibe" then judge me accordingly. Sometimes I feel like I have to work harder than the other students simply because many people tend to associate gay men with a long list of stereotypical humor and cruelty.

If there are any other gay, male nursing students OR Nurses out there, share your coping mechanisms while in class and/or on the job.

Specializes in ICU + 25 years as Nursing Faculty.

I am as straight as an arrow, but I have been a man in nursing a LONG time. It has been my observation that gay men often excel as nursing students and as nurses. I live in Texas (a VERY "RED" state) and I never have had the slightest hint of trouble for any of my numerous gay male nursing students at my clinical site. Gay GNs seem to have no trouble at all competing effectively for GN/RN jobs.

Good Luck!

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I'm of the thinking whatever you get up to in your private life and in the bedroom is your business, as long as it involves consenting adults. Gay, straight, bi, whatever, I couldn't care less. The only time it becomes as issue in the workplace (IMO) is if someone brings it into the workplace. For example, I would find it equally as off-putting if a female or male nurse was drooling over a male patient, or perhaps discussing their sex-life openly or whatever.

Makes no odds to me what sexual orientation you are, but just respect the work-boundaries and don't bring your sex life to work. If you want to race home and dress up as an Easter bunny while you have a threesome with a drag-queen and someone in leather boots, that's cool.....I just don't want to hear about it!

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I am a gay man who is in school to be an RN. There's other gay guys around me that are as well going for nursing. Y'know -- it is true, that there are many gay men who are nurses. It's not a bad thing, it's just that we can associate ourselves better I believe with the nursing profession. Really, I find what being a nurse requires, many gay men have those attributes. Not to mention, we kind of blend in and clique with female nurses. I'm not exactly saying, that we're all feminine and that's why. It's just that many female nurses tend to connect with GAY male nurses not only on a professional level, but also on a personal level: men problems, everyday chat, yadda, yadda... down to what shampoo and styles you like.

Being gay in the nursing profession is actually a + IMO. Lol, I mean analyze the big picture and think about it. Also, many patients' seem to like the chitty - chatty friendliness that stem from the gay man.

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In my experience most gay men in nursing are drawn to ER for some reason.

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As an adult, all of my friends are females. Eventually, I got married. It bothers me when heterosexual males spreading rumors that I was a bisexual then there was this group of women who were either lesbians or bisexuals also said the same thing. They all teased me that I was one, just hid it. They all presumed that I wanted women romantically based on my social circle due to the fact that I didn't have boyfriends in my teenage life or early adulthood. In fact, two of them solicited me for a threesome. I gave them a straight answer that I liked and respected them for who they were, asking me to participate in their sexual activity was unfathomable and they should leave me alone. I didn't say anything sounds condescending or demeaning, but they suddenly removed me from their life. Well, I didn't want to stalk them that can end up in the databases of the law enforcement, so I let them go. If they will decide they will want me around, they will contact me. So far, it has been 7 years since the last time we spoke after I refused to have sex with them.:roflmao: They accused me of something didn't cross my mind that I was an intolerance or prejudice person towards them, their sexual orientation. At this point, I learned to ignore or not to correct people's mind. It's their business to crap on their own rainbow. Discriminating me for being a straight female has NEVER been acceptable and will never be tolerated. It goes both ways. I could actually sue them for soliciting me.

I definitely support that nobody deserves to be maltreated. When you have a hard evidence or witness, lawyer up. Whining doesn't resolve in anything.

How people behave toward us, we cannot control it. We all get it; some of us don't care and move on. For example, I have a different issue. Some girls, who are acquaintances or friends of my friends guard their ugly husbands when I'm around. I used to get upset how they treated me. These days, I take it as a compliment, I must be a hot girl. :yeah:

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Specializes in Mental Health.

I'm still in pre nursing school, but **** I find it easier being gay than straight with all the women around - they all know I'm not trying to hit on them when we are studying. LoL

The guys that have problems with being gay are the ones that are always thinking about the fact they are gay and always need to make it an issue or something. It's not awkward unless you make it awkward bro. ;)

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Specializes in Mental Health.
ICUman said:
In my experience most gay men in nursing are drawn to ER for some reason.

*raises hand* That's hilarious!

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Specializes in Family Practice & Emergency Department.

I am gay and have never felt discriminated against in the workplace. My sexual orientation just does not seem to be an issue for my colleagues or my patients. If they do have an issue, they respectfully keep it to themselves. I am not overtly flamboyant, but I'm no macho man either. I'm just me. I am also laid back and not easily offended. I think more people should lighten up a bit. Be professional yes, but don't be stale. This field will eat you up alive if you take yourself too seriously! Take care!

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Specializes in Family Practice & Emergency Department.

I should probably also add that I live in California. That may have a lot to due with my experiences in the workplace, versus someone from a more conservative area.

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Specializes in CCU, SICU, CVSICU, Precepting & Teaching.
nurse_kam said:
I should probably also add that I live in California. That may have a lot to due with my experiences in the workplace, versus someone from a more conservative area.

I've worked in some conservative areas, and the only time I EVER saw a gay man get push back because of his preferences was the time the man in question took it upon himself to describe his bedroom activities in mind-numbing detail to all and sundry. (Come to think of it, that was in a very liberal area!) I'd like to believe that any heterosexual who overshared to that degree would get the same reaction.

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Specializes in Family Practice & Emergency Department.

I agree. It sounds like that particular nurse was being unprofessional. That kind of talk should be saved for outside of work.

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Specializes in Neuro, med surge, Jack of all trades.
littleboyboo said:
I am a gay man who is in school to be an RN. There's other gay guys around me that are as well going for nursing. Y'know -- it is true, that there are many gay men who are nurses. It's not a bad thing, it's just that we can associate ourselves better I believe with the nursing profession. Really, I find what being a nurse requires, many gay men have those attributes. Not to mention, we kind of blend in and clique with female nurses. I'm not exactly saying, that we're all feminine and that's why. It's just that many female nurses tend to connect with GAY male nurses not only on a professional level, but also on a personal level: men problems, everyday chat, yadda, yadda... down to what shampoo and styles you like.

Being gay in the nursing profession is actually a + IMO. Lol, I mean analyze the big picture and think about it. Also, many patients' seem to like the chitty - chatty friendliness that stem from the gay man.

Your post is actually playing up stereotypes about gay males in nursing, and accordingly, downplaying what heterosexual male nurses can bring to the profession.

Are you saying that straight males lack certain attributes? Why should our coworkers treat straight males differently? Would you say, then, that this is preference for one orientation over another, and accordingly, is that passive discrimination in the workplace? Something systemic?

Very interesting.

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