Being Gay and a Male Nursing Student

Nursing Students Male Students

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I'm aware that the words 'Gay' and 'Nursing' may somehow go hand-and-hand for some, and others may find it comical, but I've found it quite uncomfortable being gay and a male, nursing student simply because people tend to treat you differently-whether that is not being taken seriously or socially treated like one of the women nurses and/or techs.

Although I keep my personal and work life separate and I have a passion for nursing, but many people still seem to pick up that "vibe" then judge me accordingly. Sometimes I feel like I have to work harder than the other students simply because many people tend to associate gay men with a long list of stereotypical humor and cruelty.

If there are any other gay, male nursing students OR Nurses out there, share your coping mechanisms while in class and/or on the job.

Esme12 said:
As a nurse of 34 years.....the sexual preference of any of my co-workers has ever been apart of any discussion or consideration. If however your mannerisms are......overtly flamboyant like Mario Cantone, Carson Kressley or one of Ru Paul's drag queens (which by the way is one of my guilty pleasures). I would suggest that you try to maintain a more professional demeanor when in clinicals or at work.

I am sorry you are experiencing this kind of behavior....:hug:.One would think we have progressed in our evolutionary process past this petty stuff. Nurses have been the stereotype brunt of jokes for years.

If I heard one more "do you know why nurses have dirty knees" joke or "how do you tell who the head nurse is.....by the dirty knees"or one more reference about the latest adult film about the dirty little nurse......I swear the next time will stab their eyes out. :madface: I actually hear the music from psycho and fantasize about stabbing the moron to death. :devil:

But I don't.....sigh........:sniff: I just pity them in their ignorance and feel sorry that they are so emotionally crippled and mentally deficient that I can only feel pity with wisps of disgust.:barf01:

Consider the source....move on and be the best nurse you can be.

I just died.. :roflmao: I never watched Rupaul's drag race, but as a little boy in late 90's I owned her christmas CD "Ho Ho Ho: story of the 3 hos" and many others.

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hfullerCNA said:
I'm a fellow homosexual, as well. With that being said, you can't harshly judge me for this answer. It is nobody's business but your own. If somebody does ask, then why would you risk people getting ****** off or flying off the handle. And possibly create unnecessary gossip? It is to be made nobody's business even if they do ask. Education in this field is basically like going to work, and personal life/issues/trends need to be kept out of the workplace. It makes for drama and other unnecessary drama. So you are proud of yourself, good for you! Heterosexuals don't go around saying look at me, I'm straight! Eh hum, most of the time. Worry about yourself and make your business nobody else's. You need to worry about your education and not about making best buddies. It can befuddle you, if you get mixed up in all of the adolescent conversations. Once again, that's not what you are there for! Buck up, and stay on your hustle, or get lost in the flow! The choice is ultimately up to you. You care what others think way too much, right?

I tend to laugh at these things. Like when girls think that I have a crush on ANY cute guy. It's like.. are all gays concerned with vanity? I can't :roflmao:

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puroticorico said:
I LOVE that I just came across this thread! It's a good point. Coming from a gay male who just finished nursing school, I see my sexuality as an advantage. We usually get along with all the girl nurses. They love to chat and gossip in the break room. Males are key to success in the hospital. We can help transfer heavy patients, provide a more socially acceptable and culturally diverse workforce, have deep discussions with those who are suicidal due to sexual orientation or issues that affect the community (HIV, syphilis, homelessness, etc), work in OB or other areas in close quarters with female patients without hesitance...it's a gift!

With this said, I never directly "come out" since that is unprofessional. Maybe it would come up when going out for drinks after a shift, but that is outside of work. Always remain professional, yet yourself. You should not be required to be someone you're not. Many of my coworkers (especially managers) are gay males creating a accepting environment. While everyone "knows" it is not something to be discussed in the business place.

Right I learned from working in a call center 7 years ago when I was 20.. that keeping it to yourself keeps everyone on edge not wanting to mention it. I learned to miss it because the moment I was honest, everyone assumed I was some type of kinky freak sex addict.. and also wanted to know EVERY detail of homosexual intercouse, at that time I was a virgin.. but you couldn't tell them that.

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I have never understood why this is an issue. Up until recently no one I have ever worked with has known what my sexual orientation, because it is not relevant to my work. The only reason people know now is because I will some times refer to "my wife", but if I didn't want them to know I had a wife it wouldn't take much to conceal it.

Every person on this board, and in the world has some sexual pref., and I don't just mean which sex you are attracted to. Do you like blonds, redheads, short, tall, skinny, fat... everyone has something. If you want people to know, tell them. If you don't, than don't. Being a male heterosexual nurse, if someone takes for granted that I am gay.... so what? Or that I am not a 'real man', I could care less. They can infer what they like and it has no bearing on me whatsoever. I am man that can bench press 350lbs, run a 5k in 24 minutes and I love action and horror movies. I also like to cook, and can sing you every song from "Annie", "Camelot", "The Sound of Music", and "Scrooge". Oh yeah, and my wife is flipping houses (construction) as I go to NURSING school.

Who cares what other people think. Sexuality is not something that should be relevant in the work place, and if some people suspect you are gay why does it matter? I don't care if people think I am gay, or any other stereotype that goes with being a male nurse. And quite honestly if my biggest concern in life is that some co-worker calls me "home girl", I think I will have done pretty well.

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Esme12 said:
If however your mannerisms are......overtly flamboyant like Mario Cantone, Carson Kressley or one of Ru Paul's drag queens (which by the way is one of my guilty pleasures). I would suggest that you try to maintain a more professional demeanor when in clinicals or at work.

I totally agree with this, maintain professionalism at all times and keep the flamboyant mannerisms for when you're out with your friends or at home. Ultimately we all want to be respected but you need to respect yourself first so no matter what your preference is leave that at home, and come to work with the expectation that you are there to do a job and not be in a popularity contest. Hope this helps you bro.

1 Votes
Specializes in CNA 8 yrs LPN 6 geri, chemical dependency.

I'm not a guy, so I apologize for posting here if that's not ok. Your good coworkers won't care about your sexual orientation, just about how you are to work with and the care you give. I've worked with straight people who were awful to work with and people who were gay and in open poly/BDSM type relationships who were awesome. That said. I've worked with narrow minded managers who rode alternative lifestyle people really hard, as if they had more to prove. Don't ever let someone treat you like that. Regretfully, I was young at the time and didn't stand up for my co-workers/friends. Someone who's name i don't remember once said people treat you how you allow them to.

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A gay thread!

I'm gay, a CNA, and about to start nursing school. Many times, I'm often doing 1:1 care at one of my jobs. I can't tell you how many times little (or big) old ladies tell me how cute I am, that I must have a girlfriend, that girls must be flocking to me, yada yada yada. I mostly take it as a compliment, for sure, but a huge part of me feels uncomfortable disclosing to them that I have a boyfriend. It's hard answering these "outing" questions. It's none of their business, sure, but I feel inauthentic if I don't.

There have been times where I've felt comfortable enough with a patient to fully answer their question and I out myself - I've had both good and bad reactions. It's difficult: on one hand, I don't want to be disingenuous (I've spent too many years being in the closet, and I don't want to be stuffed back into it); on the other hand, patients have reacted very negatively and have asked for a different aide.

I think it's very situational. That is, there are going to be circumstances with patients or coworkers in which your sexual orientation will never be discussed. If it ever is, I think I'd encourage anyone to be honest (given that it'd be safe to out yourself).

I suppose that I, among others, will always figuratively be coming out of the closet for the rest of our lives to the people we meet. It never gets easy.

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Specializes in Physical Medicine & Rehabilitation.

@ Tacomaboy3

It's just as you say it, if you feel comfortable telling them your relation, go for it. I personally am strict as I can be in terms of personal life when talking to patients. Don't get me wrong, I'll relate to the patient if we are just socializing, but I always heed caution and stay away from "hot topics" if you know what I mean.

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I simply say "I keep my personal life personal"

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Can I be banned here for homophobic posts?)

Okay, this issue occurs in many fields, I think, not only nursing. You guys, just do your job well and defend yourself when its neccessary.

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Specializes in Leadership, Psych, HomeCare, Amb. Care.
MikeMad said:
Can I be banned here for homophobic posts?)

Only do not touch naturals)

What the heck does that mean?

That our brothers and sisters from the LGBT community are "unnatural?"

I certainly hope not.

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Specializes in Critical Care, ED, Cath lab, CTPAC,Trauma.
MikeMad said:

Can I be banned here for homophobic posts?

Yes...as a new member I suggest you familiarize yourself with the Terms of Service

Quote
Our first priority is to the members that have come here because of the flame-free atmosphere we provide. There is a zero-tolerance policy here against personal attacks. We will not tolerate anyone insulting other's opinion nor name calling.

Our call is to be supportive, not divisive. Because of this, discrimination, racial vilification and offensive generalizations targeting people of other races, religions and/or nationalities, or sexual orientation will not be tolerated.

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