Being Gay and a Male Nursing Student

Nursing Students Male Students

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I'm aware that the words 'Gay' and 'Nursing' may somehow go hand-and-hand for some, and others may find it comical, but I've found it quite uncomfortable being gay and a male, nursing student simply because people tend to treat you differently-whether that is not being taken seriously or socially treated like one of the women nurses and/or techs.

Although I keep my personal and work life separate and I have a passion for nursing, but many people still seem to pick up that "vibe" then judge me accordingly. Sometimes I feel like I have to work harder than the other students simply because many people tend to associate gay men with a long list of stereotypical humor and cruelty.

If there are any other gay, male nursing students OR Nurses out there, share your coping mechanisms while in class and/or on the job.

A lot of people on here are posting homophobic suggestions suggesting that you act less gay. Be yourself. You will experience homophobia in the workplace and some people will expect you to be a stereotype or 'gay best friend'. I'm queer I find yes people will judge you on your performance ultimately but you may be left feeling that you have to prove yourself in the workplace in the ways that others might not be as pressured to do so. Personally I keep to myself at work that's just my style unless I really vibe with someone. I found that more female patients didn't want my assistance more as a CNA because the care involved more personal contact. Most of your patients will be fine but may request a female nurse to straight cath or something like that. Most people don't have many gay friends and their expectations of you are based off of what they see in the media. Personally I find it annoying when people are baffled that no I don't want kids, no I don't want to get married, and no I don't want to kiki about your bf drama or guys you find attractive. I'll open up if people ask otherwise I keep to myself. Its up to you tho, shatter stereotypes and change the way the world feels about homosexuals by being yourself.

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Specializes in ICU.

I posted on this topic back in 2012 when I was considering a career in nursing. Since then, I've worked as a paralegal (majority female profession), lived in Europe and am now a nursing student. I have yet to experience being treated differently due to my sexual orientation. Maybe the reason is because I don't broadcast it or introduce myself with that disclaimer. Do I feel that it is the patient's business to know who I share my bed with-- no. Do I go out of my way to hide it-- no. I try to be myself in all I do and do the best that I can. How you want to handle yourself in the workplace is up to you, but you also need to be just as ready to accept the consequences. I don't feel that it is right to treat a person differently for being themselves, but it happens. That's a part of life and as adults, learn to deal with it.

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When i was a medic in the military their were some of my colleagues who were gay. All of them acted professional and cared about the best interest of their patient. To me that's all i care about. We are all adults and i respect someone who advocates regardless of what you do in your free time. Just keep trucking along and do the thing we all like which is nursing.

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Great topic and happy to be here. I'm three weeks into nursing school and since I went back to school I try to be open about being gay. It's important to let others know that we are everywhere and do everything like anyone else. I feel I am treated no differently by anyone and everyone is accepting of my sexuality. Right now being gay is separate from being a nurse and probably will always be that way. There is a time and place to be 'gay' and the workplace is not that place. I'm single so I have no problem fooling around with anyone except patients and teachers. I can deal with being homeless living on the street and going to school, but I cannot fight age discrimination, I apply for social security next week. Let's celebrate diversity. And it's time to go, I'm at work and I have a microbiology lab to finish.

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On 2/15/2019 at 7:52 PM, glenrubin said:

There is a time and place to be 'gay' and the workplace is not that place.

I suppose I don't quite understand this part. It seems like you are saying that gay people should try to keep themselves in the closet while at work? I think that's wrong.

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Seriously, take the gay out out of it. Just be a professional. Your personal life is your business. No employer, patient, or co-worker is entitled to any type of disclosure from you. And even if you want to disclose, its none of their business, so don't. Share with your family and friends and always remember that many who encourage you to divulge your personal business on the job are not your friends, they're just ridiculous people who want to know your business. Be prideful and keep the personal stuff personal. Just be a good nurse. Don't let yourself get dragged down into negativity and gossip ----which, unfortunately, is one of the not so great things about nursing. Keep your private life private. Do not feel obliged to disclose your personal life to anyone on the job, even if you can. The less you do so the better your career will be.

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Have you not noticed gay men in the nursing field? I have worked with many of them and they didn't hide being gay. They act like themselves and respectful.

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Being gay helped me so much during nursing school in my OB rotation and now as an RN when dealing with some female patients. I remember when my preceptor and I would go into some female patients room and she would introduce me I could see some of them look uncomfortable in having a male individual there. I usually do not like to talk about my personal life unless asked, but when I see a female patient seem uncomfortable about having a male student/RN I would bring up some random conversation that would basically imply/give them a big hint that i'm gay. For example, I had a pt that was allergic to cipro and I asked her "so I see you allergic to cipro, my boyfriend is allergic to cipro also he gets an awful rash". Once all that was out in the open you can feel them being more relaxed. So for me being gay has been more positive and it has been a lot easier to get along with female co-workers and patients.

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If the comments they are making makes you feel uncomfortable...just say so and let them know your limit. Also for whatever reason females nurses tend to flock to male nurses no matter if you are gay, straight or bi...we are just a nosey bunch and overshare on everything. Before you know if you are single they will try to set you up with someone trust me...I don’t why us gals do but we do. I work in obgyn and we have a male L&S nurse who is gay and we all love him ...because he is a great nurse, personable and easy to talk to and gives great report. Also our gay doctors talk about their families etc and share pics ...we live in a different time now ..diversity is the name of the game. I wouldn’t be too worried we tend to trust gay men more than straight men cause we know there is no agenda ...just friends/colleagues.

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On 3/9/2019 at 4:01 PM, Goldenfox said:

Seriously, take the gay out out of it. Just be a professional. Your personal life is your business. No employer, patient, or co-worker is entitled to any type of disclosure from you. And even if you want to disclose, its none of their business, so don't. Share with your family and friends and always remember that many who encourage you to divulge your personal business on the job are not your friends, they're just ridiculous people who want to know your business. Be prideful and keep the personal stuff personal. Just be a good nurse. Don't let yourself get dragged down into negativity and gossip ----which, unfortunately, is one of the not so great things about nursing. Keep your private life private. Do not feel obliged to disclose your personal life to anyone on the job, even if you can. The less you do so the better your career will be.

I 1000% agree nursing can be very gossipy ...just be professional and keep it moving....just choose carefully the information you divulge. For example I am married with 2 kids ..husband is a nurse as well....that’s about all my coworkers know ...lol

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Currently a nursing student. My clinical instructor was a gay male. Apparently Gay males have more of an option to work in PEDS/OB. I expressed my interest in the unit, and he said he'd never seen a straight male there. The female nurses kinda agreed, and they all seemed to get along with him. I figured he was gay because he was flamboyant, but he also mentioned his partner to the other nurses.

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Specializes in NICU.
20 hours ago, Mix1990 said:

Gay males have more of an option to work in PEDS/OB. I expressed my interest in the unit, and he said he'd never seen a straight male there.

I know of numerous straight males working in Peds, including me. Are you thinking that hospitals will not hire straight men for Peds or that straight males are not interested in Peds?

Males (straight and gay) will have difficulty getting into OB.

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