I almost forgot why I left nursing in the first place. Now I really like my new coworkers. I get along with my team. YES! But I was brought to reality when a doc called me an idiot.
I call the urologist and ask for clarification on a procedure he is going to do , and the urologist says," ARe you an Idiot? What else am I going to do. I am a urologist."
Me-" Urology is not my specialty doctor and I need to know the exact procedure. So is it , Laparoscopic Cyst Ablation, cystoscopy, Lithotripsy, or something else?" (Thank god for Google, there are about a dozen others he could be doing.)
GRR. I am damn sure he would never have called our house doc an idiot. Our house doc didn't even know what procedure was going to be done. And I am supposed to know out of probably a dozen what a urologist does? No. And I am not an idiot for not knowing which one.
Sorry guys, I just had to vent. It's better than me taking it out on my bf who actually is a doctor too. I came home and told him "YOUR PEOPLE SUCK!"
He was upset because he said he would never call anyone an idiot, and to please refrain from using the term "You people."
So here I am , back at nursing. Remembering why I left in the first place. It just is so hard for me to let that stuff slide and not let it affect me. I also don't want to take it out on my boyfriend everytime I have issues with a doctor at work.
I had a similar situation with a doc, he asked me for tool, and I didn't know WTH it was. I asked for clarification, but I've been around enough to not wither and tear up with a snarky remark back. I just asked "well is it sterile? Is it bigger than a bread box? I have to look for it, and you need to give me some clues."
"I wouldn't go so far as to say THAT, but, the term on the consent is "procedure". Care to clarify so I can get it signed for you, or do you want to come in, and consent the patient yourself?
No, I'm not an idiot. If I was an idiot, I would have allowed a patient to sign this consent that refers only to a "procedure". What kind of idiot expects informed consent without the informed part.
Huh! Years ago, a female plastic surgeon who sometimes provided care for our trauma ICU patients would call us "good little nurses" - as in "Be a good little nurse and run and bring me a bottle of hydrogen peroxide".
Aaaaaaargghhh
That is so demeaning and condescending.
Well today I decided to be a "big bad nurse" and I won't run and bring you that hydrogen peroxide.
I've been called an idiot and asked why I'm working there (you know, since I'm sooo dumb!). I cried in the bathroom afterwards then acted like it didn't bug me.
Stepping back though, I noticed that many (but not all) the times docs are on a rampage it's because of very human reactions: not sleeping for 3 days, just losing a patient, coding a patient for an hour while a hysterical family member screams, telling a patient they are dying/nothing more can be done, losing a child/teen patient, going through a divorce, etc (or a combination of these things). Docs are human too and while that is absolutely no excuse to call someone demeaning names, it helps me not take it so personally when they snark at me. Once I brought a crotchety doc a coffee and bagel and he looked like he was going to cry. I don't think "coping mechanisms" are taught in med school or encouraged in the profession. More like, "be the strong one" -- not that being strong equates with mean, but if you don't know how else to behave then mean is what comes out. I know I'm not the most pleasant person after not sleeping and working some particularly difficult shifts, I have even screamed at total strangers in public (which I am ashamed to admit). Instead of snarking back, maybe ask if they're ok or need anything? Just a thought.
Of course, there is always that one doc who will be a complete jerk no matter what and will never, ever, ever bend. :/
Specializes in CCU, SICU, CVSICU, Precepting & Teaching.
I've been called an idiot and asked why I'm working there (you know, since I'm sooo dumb!). I cried in the bathroom afterwards then acted like it didn't bug me.
Stepping back though, I noticed that many (but not all) the times docs are on a rampage it's because of very human reactions: not sleeping for 3 days, just losing a patient, coding a patient for an hour while a hysterical family member screams, telling a patient they are dying/nothing more can be done, losing a child/teen patient, going through a divorce, etc (or a combination of these things). Docs are human too and while that is absolutely no excuse to call someone demeaning names, it helps me not take it so personally when they snark at me. Once I brought a crotchety doc a coffee and bagel and he looked like he was going to cry. I don't think "coping mechanisms" are taught in med school or encouraged in the profession. More like, "be the strong one" -- not that being strong equates with mean, but if you don't know how else to behave then mean is what comes out. I know I'm not the most pleasant person after not sleeping and working some particularly difficult shifts, I have even screamed at total strangers in public (which I am ashamed to admit). Instead of snarking back, maybe ask if they're ok or need anything? Just a thought.
Of course, there is always that one doc who will be a complete jerk no matter what and will never, ever, ever bend. :/
Your point is well taken. Docs are human, too, and you might cut them a break if they're just having a bad day (or week or month). If nastiness and name calling is a chronic problem, it's something different again.
Oh the opportunity missed... "yes, I actually am an idiot, thank you for noticing. A lot of people overlook that. I tried to google yourologist but it won't come up. Is it the ology of you? That sounds like a doctor of everything. I'm so excited, tell me tell me!!!"
On night shift about ten years ago, a doctor screamed at me on the phone (to the point he could be heard ten feet away when I held the phone away from my ear) demanding to know why he'd been called twice - as the RESIDENT - for some seemingly petty order, that I had woken up his wife and his child and I had no BUSINESS calling him when I should be calling the INTERN.
(The first time I thought I'd read the wrong number. The second time I figured out exactly what the problem was - he hadn't returned his pager that afternoon, and the hospital had reassigned his pager number to the intern, not knowing his mistake.)
This dude had a reputation of being a complete jackass to the nurses.
There was no way I was taking what amounted to verbal abuse.
So I asked him did he sign his pager out before he left - having realized, of course, that he hadn't. He paused for a moment.
I KNEW he'd realized his mistake, yet he kept screaming. If he'd simply apologized and been, "oh, my bad - sorry!" that would have been the end of it. (I'd be pissed too if someone woke me up at three AM, at least initially!) Finally I'd had enough.
I don't remember what it was I was asking for, but I asked him if he had any intention of granting the verbal. I then told him that I had no intention of taking further verbal abuse (my exact words) and that when the medical director came in in the AM I would speak to him about his behavior. I also told him that it was likely his yelling woke his family up - that they were probably used to the phone ringing at odd hours given his profession.
He refused to give the order and hung up on me.
I called and got the intern's correct pager and got my order. In the AM, as promised, I spoke to the medical director (who happened to be the attending - how unfortunate!), who walked in to the unit about three steps ahead of our little friend.
This guy treated the RNs a lot differently after that.
What pissed me off the most was the charge nurse came to me asking me WHY I spoke to a doctor that way - why did I use the term "verbal abuse". I told her it was simple - his language and tone was INDEED by definition verbal abuse, that he wasn't God and no one - to include my father or my husband - had the right to speak to me in that manner. So I handled it. Seriously - we are not punching bags, and I refuse to be one. I was respectful and far more professional than he was, and he got the chewing by his boss that he deserved.
No, I'm not an idiot. If I was an idiot, I would have allowed a patient to sign this consent that refers only to a "procedure". What kind of idiot expects informed consent without the informed part.
IMO, this is the best response in the whole thread.
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Dianna11
146 Posts
OMG LMAO!!