Being bullied at work

Davey Do · Apr 16, 2019

11 minutes ago, Persephone Paige said:
Nobody ever bothers me, they never did.

Maybe it's because you've read the text, as I have, Persephone Paige, "The Gentle Art of Verbal Intimidation"?

Persephone Paige, ADN · Apr 16, 2019

4 minutes ago, Davey Do said:
Maybe it's because you've read text, as I have, Persephone Paige, "The Gentle Art of Verbal Intimidation"?

No, I never did. I've struggled with ADHD and Asperger's. Half the time, I think maybe it just went right over my head. Maybe the messed with me and I didn't give two ****s? I was so absorbed with knowing I needed to focus on the patients. Got really good at tuning in on the important, tuning out the other.

Bullies need an audience. You have to listen to know...

Leader25, ASN, BSN, RN · Apr 16, 2019

Lazy employees, from bad clerks ,Lpns, Nurse Aides or techs are every hospitals dirty little secret, administration is afraid of their big mouths ,and therefore they get away with being lax at their job.These places usually have a high turnover rate,and if there is a position open in a top choice area,you now know why.

Although decreasing with more educated Rns joining the hospitals,hostility from diploma nurses on home ground against newcomers with degrees was epic. and guess what ..management knew..did nothing....When they opening threatened a pregnant nurse outside of the hospital,....I realized planning my departure after getting enough experience was a good idea. You never win with these types of animals.

scnurse83 · Apr 16, 2019

I just wrote something about a similar situation... It is the old classic bully technique. I have to say I am also offended by the word ghetto as well ( though and I am a white girl, does a make a difference? I think not).

So I would advise if and when you directly address these people that you don't use terms like you're acting "ghetto" "Trailer trash". Just stay classy, and look them dead in the eye and remind them of what they said and why it offended you.

If they don't answer to your liking perhaps try to use your people skills to ask in another way. I don't have the privilege of just leaving my job whenever I want. so, you will probably need to deal with them for a certain amount of time. My advice is if they are bullies then hit back, but if you just simply are rude to them and aren't respectful to them you likely shouldn't be in nursing or to be frank nursing at all. You will come into contact with all races cultures and ethnicities in nursing, including your coworkers. Bullying is not acceptable but neither is stereotypes. But you should ask them if you did anything to perhaps offend them.

I don't leave people guessing if somebody offends me I tell them straight to their face when it happens. Again, I am tactful and choose my words wisely. But it usually only ever happens once and never again.

**LibraSunCNM, BSN, MSN, CNM** · Apr 16, 2019

11 hours ago, kyhoward1989 said:
She never implied that anybody was poor, she implied that they were ghetto. In the context she used it in, it transcends socioeconomic standings.
It's redundant either way, the moral of the story is if you feel as though the environment is toxic, I'd quit.

Who lives in the ghetto? The rich? ? The context of the word literally revolves around the concept of poor people being low class and acting as such.

Agreed that it's irrelevant to the topic, I was just commenting in agreement with Viva.

allnurses Guide · Apr 16, 2019

You need to quit.

Ramsesnurse · Apr 16, 2019

Hello, I enjoyed your posting regarding your situation at work and feel that your situation is not unique. There seems to be some issues across the board regarding bullying in the nursing workplace and it needs to be fixed. As you mentioned there is little that can be done regarding your situation because there are no rules or regulations that specifically outlaw workplace bullying for nurses despite it being a huge problem. According to Berry et al (2016), workplace bullying is psychologically stressful and increases anxiety among nurses. Furthermore, the problem is widespread as there are many studies that report over 90% of nurses have reported being bullied at their workplace.

Current rules and regulations that regulate nursing behavior are not present. There is no specific federal statue that requires that nurses be protected from this problem (ANA, 2019). There is a growing awareness regarding this issue however and more and more nursing professionals are becoming aware of this problem. I feel that there are certain personal responsibilities that nurses must perform in order to manage this problem from within and create a new culture where bullying is not so prevalent.

Do not tolerate workplace bullying when you see it. It is necessary to call it out when it happens. This can be difficult and requires some political savvy in order to escape potential punishment, but one must be able to stand up for themselves if they want others to do the same. This is all about creating a culture of respect. There are measures that can be taken to limit the opportunities for workplace bullying that seem to commonly arise during the workday. Too often these concepts are ignored because of the inertia of disrespect and bullying that exists in that nursing unit. To remedy this, leadership is needed to transform these units into cohesive groups that use effective communication and set aside personal differences to accomplish a mission. Many times, the nursing leader is the biggest bully in the organization. This is unfortunate but likely in many circumstances. Without the legal protection, nurses may feel trapped or cornered by their bullying boss, the exact situation that you have described in your post. I feel that the nursing profession needs to collectively stand up for itself and demand the respect and humane treatment it deserves. Many times, those who are affected by bullying do not do anything in response. Creating awareness of this problem is a good first step, but more needs to be done in order to successfully eliminate this childish behavior from healing environments.

It is time that nurses hold both themselves and their leaders accountable for the workplace environment. Bullying as become an epidemic among the nursing profession and those who wish to see this change must lobby and petition to make these changes. Nurses are there to care for people in order to allow them to fully heal and recover from their problems. When nurses themselves are internally damaged from bullying attacks, this makes this process very difficult to achieve and provides unnecessary obstacles that need to be negotiated.

References

American Nurses Association (2019).. How ANA is taking action on workplace violence.

Berry, P. A., Gillespie, G. L., Fisher, B. S., Gormley, D., & Haynes, J. T. (2016). Psychological distress and workplace bullying among registered nurses. OJIN: The Online Journal of Issues in Nursing, 21(3), 4.

wcholla · Apr 16, 2019

@Davey Do Liked your post... Did you mean "The Gentle Art of Verbal Self-Defense at Work?"

tining, BSN, RN · Apr 16, 2019

You reported to the next in line without resolving anything. Move up the ladder. Someone "owns" this healthcare facility and would appreciate your feedback on this atrocious behavior. AND move on!

Ruby Vee, BSN · Apr 16, 2019

On 4/13/2019 at 11:52 AM, Mariah2019 said:
I started this job a month ago and within the first week I realized most of the nurses are LPNs and very hostile and ghetto. I’m one of the few RNs on the floor and most of the LPNs are older. Most of the days I just do my work and clock out to avoid drama. Most of the nurses there are always on smoke breaks every 5 minutes or gossiping and being loud at the nurses station. They use profanity in front of residents. Anyways, this one nurse (who I think might be a narcissist or borderline personality disordered) has taken a dislike to me for no reason and the other day in front of the CNAs verbally attacked me. I held my own and defended myself and told the supervisor. The issue is no one in management cares and that LPN and the supervisor are buddy buddy and smoke together, so I don’t think anything will be done. I feel like most of the nurses there don’t like me and I think it has to do with my good work ethic. I have now developed anxiety when I’m about to go to work. The energy is so horrible in this facility, and I’m thinking about quitting because I feel like since they’re all friends they will bully me out eventually. What would you do?

I would examine my own attitudes.

First, what does "Ghetto" even mean? It sounds racist to me.

Your contempt for your colleagues shines through your post like a beacon. You just do your work and don't attempt to get along with them, so it isn't surprising in the least that they don't like you. The allegedly personality disordered nurse who took a dislike to you is probably just reacting to your treatment of her.

But I'm sure they're just jealous of your good work ethic, your extreme youth and beauty and your obvious brilliance.

Ruby Vee, BSN · Apr 16, 2019

22 hours ago, Emergent said:
I think it means non-white and low class. If they were white, the correct term is 'trailer trash'.

That's for the education. Racist. Just like I thought.

HomeBound · Apr 16, 2019

On 4/15/2019 at 9:34 PM, Persephone Paige said:
There must be something wrong with me.
Do nurses just come up and get in another nurse's face? How does anyone have time to pay attention to what someone else is doing? Nobody ever bothers me, they never did.

Yes. It may be a direct threat or an indirect intimidation tactic, and, it can be "pleasant" or "unpleasant". I've experienced both.

The group that applies pressure for you to "belong" and if you don't accept invitations to breakfast after night shift or a party--you are "out".

The one that gossips about you relentlessly because you simply will not provide personal information--yet when you return the favor--direct conflict ensues.

Both have happened to me. I've been in this a long time, as well as being a second careerist--so not a lot bothers me. I've found that just ignoring and being kind of "oblivious" tends to cool the jets of the aggressors--but there are just some that don't learn.

OP--I wouldn't quit if you like the job.

The RN vs LPN thing may be offensive to some, but this is real. This goes on all the time between ADN vs BSN as well as any nurse that has experiences that make them highly qualified and/or unique. Jealousy is a thing in nursing, I have no idea why. It's petty and stupid, but my opinion is that it's a self reflection problem---you (or anyone) has done the hard work and has been rewarded for it--and it makes some people uncomfortable.

A friend called me recently and was lamenting that he hadn't achieved his BSN yet and it's been years (and many missed opportunities to change this fact)---and he said, "What have I been doing with my life?"

He's not the jealous type--but he is taking a closer look at others around him in the "same" or "similar" situation--and they are surging ahead while he stagnates. It's uncomfortable. Some people have no filter on their mouths or bridle on their behavior---and it comes out as hatred, anger, and intimidation towards the person they see as "better" than they are.

Second, what is it that you want to accomplish? For them to stop the behavior or for you to have permission to quit? You aren't going to change people--they are who they are after about age 15, short some devastating life event. You can't control with whom you work and there is NOWHERE, unless you work in a vacuum, that you will not deal with someone who is incompatible with you.

My experience is actually recent. The whole "you have to spill your life story" and then, of course, be placed in a compromising position (i.e. out drinking where inhibitions are low)--so that people felt that they "had a handle" on me.

Nope. Nopity nope nope. I am at work for one reason. To work. I don't socialize with co-workers. Ever. For any reason. I don't care how nice you are, I am not allowing my personal life and my professional life to intersect.

The pressure was on. Sappy, sickly nicey nice---in my face constantly. Faux concern for this or that---the group sending one after another to "try". When it became obvious I wasn't interested and stood my ground very nicely--
No, I don't want to go to hang out with you, thanks---things got gossipy and mean.

If they can't find out the "truth", they will simply take anything you say and twist it out of context in order to be fodder for their conversation.

I didn't budge. I don't correct and I don't care. I do a xxxxxxx good job...and unless this effects my patients or my performance review---let them go to my boss and say something as ridiculous as "we can't get to know her personally because she's too private....she needs to be written up".

It got to the point that I was simply talking to someone and laughing---and it really, really bothered this one particular old battle axe. She attempted to find out what was said---other person wouldn't play, nor would I---so she followed me into a room to try to corner me privately. Got right up into my face and said "Are you talking about me?? Is that what you're doing, do you think you can talk about me??"

I wasn't scared or intimidated. I told her I can talk to whomever I like about whatever I choose, and that includes making comments about her. I also said that I'd like to meet with her and my supervisor in HR about her obvious paranoia because I am very worried about her.

She bolted.

Some weeks later, I took report on a patient that she admitted--and she documented that she had taken all of the pts home meds away per policy and stored them with pharm. When I took the pt over a couple days later, he began acting very agitated and aggressive. He asked me for the meds in his drawer. I was stunned. There, in the drawer were scheduled drugs as well as very dangerous (in his condition) medications.

I immediately took them and did what I needed to do. I looked up who admitted and found it was her. She never did what she documented and now it may have had a serious adverse effect on the pt because he had access to them.

I documented the **** out of that---deliberately. Named her specifically, added several notes about how she documented she followed policy and the behavior of the patient. Notified the supervisor. Notified pharm. Notified the MD. Connected it with the pt's aberrant behavior.

Then, I grabbed her on her way in to work---and very nicely told her---I did this and you need to figure out what you're going to do about it. She was very angry---not that the patient may have died from some drug overdose---but because I didn't cover her negligence.

It was a rare opportunity to put that whole group on notice---that I will simply do my job, making sure I dot all my i's and cross all my t's....and the moment any of them steps outside of the policies---HIPAA violations or false documentation---our employer and any "friends" in the unit won't be able to help them one iota when *****---which it did in this case.

I don't feel badly about it whatsoever. Did they feel badly when they made crap up and acted hostile towards me? No. Did the RN feel badly for the pt that she endangered? No. She was far too busy gossiping and then bolting out the door at shift change so she could go to breakfast with her pals---that she chose not to do her job.

Like DaveyDo quoted---you can't get anyone else into more trouble than they can already get themselves into.

Do your job. You aren't there to make friends. Unless you are. If that's the goal---you need to leave. I suggest that you keep your job professional--if that means eating lunch alone, then that's how it is.

I don't get this thing where people need to use their workplace as a replacement for a strong home life. These are co workers not family. Anybody who starts that crap about how their coworkers are like family---wait until you have a huge tax bill to pay or need a loan for a car---and see how many of those "family members" will step forward to help you.

Kill them with kindness is a platitude that I really loathe. I don't care enough about my co workers to even try to get to know them. If they do a good job, that's enough for me. They could be the worst parent, child, friend, human in the world---as long as they don't bring it into the workplace and it doesn't effect the patients---have at it.

The only opinion of you that counts, is yours. You do a good job--that shows in performance evals. You sleep with the dogs, you wake up with fleas. If the place is so toxic that you can't do your job or these people actually sabotage you---document, document, document real events that effect patients---quietly---and then turn that documentation over to authority. Such as, the BON. Waiting for managers to referee a personality contest is stupid.