Bad messed up

Nurses Recovery

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I am an RN in Florida. I was caught taking five 0.5 mg Xanax from work (on camera). I have a prescription for them but took them from the Pyxis system. I was terminated, arrested and charged with 2 felonies (grand Larceny and Possession of a controlled substance without a prescription). I just bailed out and got home. I am exhausted, devastated and lost. I don't know what came over me to do such a stupid thing. I have never been in trouble before. The Administration at the hospital told me to self report to the BON. I do not have money to hire a lawyer and will have to use a public defender. I am wondering about others that have been through this or similar. Im hoping to plea the charges to misdemeanors. I HAVE to work and make a living. I am single with 2 daughters. Any information or ideas would be so helpful. Thank you all so much. Please don't judge. It was my drug of choice to self soothe :(

Specializes in Psych, Corrections, Med-Surg, Ambulatory.

Try contacting the Bar Association in your state. They may be able to give you referrals for someone who will work with you and your limited resources. Good luck.

Please call Ipn asap. It is called the intervention project for nurses. You can find the number online. You could save your career. Many counties in florida also have drug court programs that will seal your felonies if you complete the program. I know this seems impossible right now but it will hopefully get easier as it did with me.

The BON will probably not want you working with controlled substances while on probation. I worked with a nurse who was busted for diverting and using Demerol. She had to go to rehab and 2 years of probation. She worked in a blood mobile. She was already an amazing IV starter. I think her experience made her stronger and a better nurse.

Well, that you have admitted your mistake without making excuses is commendable. So many people aren't willing to do that, and you have my admiration for having the guts to come on here and be so honest. You need to ask your public defender to get you into a pretrial intervention program. I am in Florida also and I knew someone about 8 years ago who was arrested for two felony drug possession and the first thing he did was immediately find and get into an outpatient rehab program. His attorney told him it was gonna be required anyway if he got into pretrial intervention, but it looked much better to take the intiative before being ordered to do it. I am not sure how long the outpatient rehab was, but it met like 4 days a week for maybe a few months...but anyway he graduated rehab. I know he also attended Narcotics Anonymous of his own initiative. When the court date finally came where the judge decided whether or not to put him in the pretrial program the judge saw he'd already done the rehab and the Narcotics Anonymous and was clean and seeking help. The judge agreed he was worthy to be put in pretrial intervention, plus community service and one year of probation that would end earlier if he finished all the requirements early. Rehab was already checked off so he had some other programs like classes of some kind I drove him to sometimes for the intervention aspect of the program. When he completed the program, community service, and probation the charges were outright dropped. Not adjudication witheld but DROPPED. My understanding is that's like it didn't happen. The key lesson I learned is that really good people do some dumb things, but there is hope. I thought the state was gonna hammer him down, but turns out they weren't looking to destroy him especially since he had not been in trouble before. As for the grand larceny charge, I'm sure they can come up with something. Looking up grand larceny in Florida I'm not sure how one alprazolam is worth $300 or more dollars. Finally, so far as the nursing license goes I am not sure how that works. I would take the advice to contact that IPN mentioned by a previous poster for that stuff. Stay strong, you still have so much to be thankful for, and the day will come when this will be behind you.

Don't give up your license, I believe you can go into diversion. I knew an RN who did and her license would have been suspended had she completed diversion (she wasn't ready to quit drinking.)

I live in a smallish town where a couple of nurses have popped into 12-step meetings for this, the one who stayed sober had her license restored with restrictions (I don't know how long they last.She obtained a job working in recovery.)

Don't beat yourself up too much and try not to judge yourself too harshly but be cautious about who you share with because plenty of people who never had a problem judge others. Dang, I had no insurance and never went to doctors when I was drinking and really wanted something to settle my nerves/shakes. After getting sober as a young waitress I heard the then retired doctor handed out anything so there was an upside to that. Best of luck to you, learning how to cope with life without mood-altering stuff can be done, you will meet many who do in meetings which would be good to start now.

Well, that you have admitted your mistake without making excuses is commendable. So many people aren't willing to do that, and you have my admiration for having the guts to come on here and be so honest. You need to ask your public defender to get you into a pretrial intervention program. I am in Florida also and I knew someone about 8 years ago who was arrested for two felony drug possession and the first thing he did was immediately find and get into an outpatient rehab program. His attorney told him it was gonna be required anyway if he got into pretrial intervention, but it looked much better to take the intiative before being ordered to do it. I am not sure how long the outpatient rehab was, but it met like 4 days a week for maybe a few months...but anyway he graduated rehab. I know he also attended Narcotics Anonymous of his own initiative. When the court date finally came where the judge decided whether or not to put him in the pretrial program the judge saw he'd already done the rehab and the Narcotics Anonymous and was clean and seeking help. The judge agreed he was worthy to be put in pretrial intervention, plus community service and one year of probation that would end earlier if he finished all the requirements early. Rehab was already checked off so he had some other programs like classes of some kind I drove him to sometimes for the intervention aspect of the program. When he completed the program, community service, and probation the charges were outright dropped. Not adjudication witheld but DROPPED. My understanding is that's like it didn't happen. The key lesson I learned is that really good people do some dumb things, but there is hope. I thought the state was gonna hammer him down, but turns out they weren't looking to destroy him especially since he had not been in trouble before. As for the grand larceny charge, I'm sure they can come up with something. Looking up grand larceny in Florida I'm not sure how one alprazolam is worth $300 or more dollars. Finally, so far as the nursing license goes I am not sure how that works. I would take the advice to contact that IPN mentioned by a previous poster for that stuff. Stay strong, you still have so much to be thankful for, and the day will come when this will be behind you.

I was wondering about the grand larceny also. I had heard of absurdly high mark-ups for hospital drugs but grand larceny in my state would be over $950. A 0.5mg Xanax >$400 each?

WE all make stupid mistakes sometimes if we pay attention to what we say or do we would punish ourselves before we wait for others to do the job. my first advice is to keep in mind that its a painful feeling for ANY person to go through this, your not the only one! MANY others have done worse, remember you didn't kill any one! your not a bad nurse & this incident doesn't determine who you are.. its ok to feel bad about yourself, regret it & wish you never did that...because those are prerequisites to recovery & repentance and finally never doing it again because you know what its like!

Remember the goal is to STOP this behavior from reoccurring...that's what the board wants to see...

I say since its not a pattern for you & that its your first offense you CAN prove you are worth another chance! sorry to say it like that...but that's how the BON will look at you..

finally don't look for the BON, judge, or employer to have sympathy for you...stay strong!

meanwhile find ANY job to pay your bills while you fight back! Good luck..

Specializes in ICU; Telephone Triage Nurse.

You will be offered some type of recovery option through your SBON regardless of your arrest - which I'm very sorry the facility you worked for felt they had to go there.

Even if this isn't your first experience with diversion I believe the SBON will work with you in order to help you turn your life around, and to keep you working. They don't want to take away your livelihood or license - believe it or not they do want to offer you rehabilitation.

I know all about self soothing, so no judgement here. Life can be rough sometimes.

Lot's of people screw up - you're in good company, and you aren't the only one who has made a rash decision that drastically altered your immediate life. If you were then none of us would be here too supporting each other.

Handling narcotics can be hazardous for some of us - temptation can ignite and our demons get the better of us. I bet most of us would say we don't know what the hell we were thinking either at the time - or maybe it happened because we weren't thinking at all.

I've seen people divert a lot more than (5) tablets of xanax and still be offered a diversion option program, or probation. You will have lot's of hoops to jump through, but it's doable - most importantly you'll be offered a second chance. I don't foresee a career change in your immediate future unless that's what you want to do.

Your license is NOT doomed, and all is not lost yet - not by a long shot.

Take a deep breath, find a sponsor and start undoing this predicament. I believe in you!

One more thing: as I've already mentioned we humans tend to make mistakes, some small insignificant ones, and some large incredibly stupid ones. It's one of the hazards of being mortal, and all part of the life experience. Just because you screwed up doesn't mean you ARE a screw up. Hold your head up high - you're just as good as the nurses who've not been caught diverting. Don't let anyone make you feel differently.

Hugs.

Specializes in Med/surg/ortho.

Report to your states assistance program for nurses immediately before they report you! The only and best thing u can do here is to report yourself and do everything they want you to do. If you don't, I wouldn't plan on a bright future in nursing...u must be compliant with the boards demands if u have any hope of those felonies dropping to mistameanors. Good luck.

Specializes in Med/surg/ortho.

Totally agree! This is something the public would say not a fellow nurse.

Specializes in Med/Surg, Women's Health, LTC.

I know it is hard to figure out what to do and to post here. FIRST -- keep our head up and in the game.

I know from experience (sober 12 years now). Get into the nurse diversion program for your state. I see others mentioning it. You likely will not get out of this legally, unscathed, but, some states have drug court programs and you may be able to complete that and eventually have your record sealed. I know some states (most, I think) will require you report ALL arrests to the BON. And, since you were caught at work, my guess, the BON will know about it before days end.

Second, at the very least, consult a board attorney., I know you say you cannot afford right now. Get a free consult and see if they will make a payment arrangement with you.

Next, do not lie to the next employer, especially health care, if you look for another job. It will all come out in the investigation by the board. You may be able to retain your license, with some restrictions, and work through their program.

The job of the board is to protect the public, not the nurses. It will seem like they are picking on you, but they are trying to protect others from those of us who mean no harm, but do not always use our best judgement. I felt the same way in the beginning of my program, but came to realize, it will work, if you put in the effort.

Next, print an NA or AA attendance form and start going to meetings. Show both the courts and the board you are willing to do whatever it takes. Try to get into a an outpatient rehab BEFORE court, or board intervention.

Lastly, take this time to decide what made you go to those lengths to divert the xanax? Is there something in your life you need to work through? Can outpatient treatment and NA/AA help you?

The day I was arrested was both the BEST and WORST day of my life!

Hang in there!

I am pulling for you!

Specializes in Cardicac Neuro Telemetry.

I would look into this: https://ipnfl.org/

I found that in a simple google search.

I would strongly suggest you contact the board of nursing before your former employer does. You could also call the state bar to see if there are any attorneys in your area experienced with the board who can work with you regarding your financial situation.

OP, you did make a very bad decision and it is clear you have remorse for it. I commend you for owning up to it and I hope you get the help you need.

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