bad experience with a male nurse

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I was in the hospital a few weeks ago and to my surprise I had a male nurse in post-op in telemetry. I was so excited about this. I wanted to ask him so many questions but to my surprise, he was a jerk. He was mean to me and called me names to my relatives. He had the worst attitude I have ever seen in a nurse. My heart sank. I thought "wow, he knows I am going to be a nurse and he is setting this example for me?" Then I thought "wow they eat their young, maybe if he knew if I wasn't going to be a nurse he would have treated me nicer" I am going to write a letter of complaint with my patient survey but it just bothers me. I was even considering going into some other medical profession, it just bothered me. I may be over dramatic but I am just mad. If I was a nurse and one of my patient's was going to be a nurse (male or female) I would take them under my wing until they left at least. Any thoughts on this?

I know exactly why you should get out of bed after surgery. If you don't a clot can form in your leg and yeah not good lol. I knew that coming in to surgery and I also knew that getting up helps heal faster. What gets me is that I was walking, I walked with the PT and I was pacing back and forth in my room cleaning my area up trying to make it nice for when my family came and he did not believe me at all, while the guy next to me lied to all of his nurses and did not get up at all but told them he did, and they believed him. I told my family 'I am stuck here and I want to get out asap, don't you think I would want to be the first one to get out of here, you can go home after this but I stay here for the night.' The other thing is, is that you are NOT SUPPOSED TO TELL THE PATIENT HOW THEY SHOULD FEEL.

I actually had a good nurse that very night. I was up until 11 and she said "I see you are still up" and I told her that I was annoyed at the nurse and my family, and then I apologized for telling her my problems and she said "it is what I am here for." I swear it was a hallmark moment lol.

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Screw that guy I want to be a nurse and when I make it higher up than him he is going to see me. :yeah: It doesn't matter anyway, I want to be an NP so it's kind of different. Thanks for the comments by the way. I was on pain killers and I was very emotional, I hope that's normal lol. He thought I was a drama queen cause I was in extreme amounts of pain when they ripped the stent out of me also, which is why it is so disturbing to me.

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I agree that you shouldn't judge the entire profession on one person's obvious attitude problem, but I also completely see why it would have upset you to that extent. After all-if you have nothing but horrible experiences in one area why would you want to intentionally put yourself there?

I had mostly terrible experiences with nurses but in combination with the good experiences it did help drive me to be a nurse. As a nurse, yes you'll be busy but part of being a nurse is being able to handle it. Nursing care is supposed to be non-judgemental and HOLLISTIC; so it should include physchological well being. There is nothing therapeutic about name calling & degrading a patient-and the saying is true-"you catch more flies with honey than vinegar".

However, tough love sometimes is necessary. There are sooo many places where the nurses are so overloaded they literally can't devote the time most patients really deserve. So they prioritize--"I know it hurts, but get out of bed" :) Some patients would be more compliant if we took the time to explain the consequences of lying in bed after surgery(stationary blood could turn into a blood clot which could travel & =heart attack), but most nurses are so pressed for time that they prevent those consequences the quickest most efficient way they can-which isn't necesarily the "best" way. :\

Not saying this was the case for you, but there are always gona be jerks out there(try this...go to a mall & smile big & say hello to several people you pass--most will smile/say hey back; some may just ignore you or roll their eyes, etc). Don't take other people's words or actions personally(I know that's sometimes easier said than done) and keep in mind that you cant control peoples actions but you can control your responses.

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Specializes in ICU, ED, PACU.

You had a bad experience with a nurse, not with a male nurse.

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Specializes in Trauma ICU, Peds ICU.

Behavior like that has to do with someone's personality. Not their sex, and not their profession.

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Specializes in Emergency Nursing.

I agree with the other users that have posted thus far. You had a bad experience with a nurse, the nurse's gender is immaterial. I am not going to call you a drama queen but perhaps you are overreacting and perhaps your not, none of us can really say because we weren't there. Write how you feel on the feedback forum and submit it to the hospital. During my last hospitalization there was a nurse who decided it was his job to tell one of my family members to take away a candy bar that another family member had brought for me because I shouldn't be eating that. I was annoyed because I am a grown adult and he had no right to do that (even if I didn't want to eat that) but it wasn't enough to make me not want to be a nurse anymore or anything like that. If I were you I would just take this as one bad experience with a nurse and chalk it up to not every nurse is perfect.

!Chris :specs:

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Not that i'm one to judge, but after reading this post I had to speak up. My thoughts are:

1-Major drama queen goin on here. If you're a guy and you didn't like the way another guy was treatin ya, then SPEAK UP and tell him. One guy to another. I got no problem tellin other guys when to back down and shut up.

2-If you're basing your decision to attend nursing school on ONE nurses actions, then seems just a little shallow, and maybe you would be better suited to another profession anyways. Trust me, the last thing I need is a fellow nurse thats gonna be shallow and add to the drama pool at my job. There's enough estrogen to take care of that one, thanks. (no offense gals, just my thoughts:)

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Specializes in Cardiac.
It just angers me that he took advantage of me in a way. Every time he did something, nobody was there to witness it.

He might not be required by his hospital to have another women present when procedures are being performed.

while the guy next to me lied to all of his nurses and did not get up at all but told them he did, and they believed him

?? If you are a woman, this was not correct. People of opposite genders should not be in the same room.

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Specializes in LTC, Home Health.

I think the OP is a male. Am I right?

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sounds like u weren't pleased with the male nurse AND the female tech that cared for u.

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you ran into one bad person that was a male nurse , he was a jerk because that who he was not because he was a male , i have had male nurses before and they rock :)

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If you seriously were considering changing professions over an interaction with one person then maybe you are a drama queen? That was a ridiculous statement.

This is exactly what I was thinking when I read that post. If you don't like how you are being treated and don't speak up for yourself, then it's your own fault. Part of life is learning how to deal with the a-holes because they are everywhere.

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