babies having babies

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had a canvo with a pt the other day who had a long admission at a larger hosp for pih ( i think we had shipped her) and she told me there was a nine y/o primip admitted while she was there, now i have seen 14,15 lots of 16 a couple 13 y/o but nothing this bad, what the youngest ob pt you've del and how do you adjust care for these girls?

Specializes in Specializes in L/D, newborn, GYN, LTC, Dialysis.
Originally posted by stevielynn

That is a great story to read after all the other sad tales. Thanks mimi . . and you are right. If only more of these "babies" would think about adoption.

The youngest I've seen was in clinicals 6 years ago. 13 year old preggers with her 2nd (1st was an abortion) and her 11 year old sister, also pregnant. Their mom was oh so very happy about becoming a grandmother.

Oh, sometimes you really have to work hard to hold yourself back. :(

I've done the same as you Deb . . talking and talking from a young age with all my kids. It isn't a guarantee however. My 20 year old listened and has made a commitment to virginity and my 18 year old listened but chose another path.

Now I have a 14 year old girl to contend with and that is even scarier. I'll be really old when our 2 year old needs "the talk" . . maybe in an Alzheimer's dementia somewhere, oblivious. ;)

Keep talking . . . .

steph

These are cases I have seen year after year......12, 13 year olds from families who have 8,9 kids and "gramma" is about 34. I have seen it more than I care to recount. This cycle DOES perpetuate itself. Yes there are WONDERFUL teen moms out there. I am sorry the majority of stories here are NOT warm, pink fuzzy recounts of teen parenting/childbirth. The fact is, most the cases I see where young teens become Mothers are NOT happy, not healthy and the BABIES suffer for it. It's truly sad. But also truly nice to see the GOOD stories recounted here. Thanks for sharing both sides, everyone!

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Originally posted by SmilingBluEyes

Who here believes it's a good thing to become a mother at age 12????? really is a girl at 11, 12 prepared emotionally and financially to be a TRUE parent?

Nope, not me. Shoot, I was 24 when I had my first and thought even THEN maybe I should have waited!

What a HUGE responsibility. I think it is true that it is the exception, not the rule, that a young teen mom and her baby fairs well afterwards. I would not have wanted to be in that position, nor do I want my daughters in that position. But, hey, I can talk 'til I'm blue in the face, it doesn't mean that my kids are going to do what they have been taught. No crystal ball here, can't tell you what the future holds, but I CAN tell you that I am not a grandma yet and DO NOT plan on being one for many years to come...my kids know how I feel and we are able to talk with each other.

I truly feel for those very young girls having babies...don't know what more to say about it...

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I just wanted to add that I also feel for young girls who have babies. I don't think that it's easy for anyone to have a new addition to their family, but when your young the transformation can be much more difficult.

I was fortunate enough to have an excellent support system in my corner, if I hadn't maybe I would have chosen differently. I have continued to volunteer with the little free time I have to help young teen moms, and I have to say that many of them are not mature enough to wear what they wear let alone bear children. It's sad to see the girls who are so uninvolved that their parents do all of the raising for them, however I also know of a situation in which a girl my age now (22) had a baby with her long time boyfriend and gave it to her aunt because she didn't want to "miss out on being young" I see nothing worng with adoption but this to me was just selfish, her aunt already had children of her own and I could tell she wanted to be able to see the child without being responsible for its well being. I think her decision was incredibly immature and psychologically disturbing. Imaging growing up and finding out your cousin was really your mother. I can already see the therapy bills in that childs future.

Obviously, becoming a mother before your ready is trying but above all, that child is a part of it's mother, regardless of whether they want to take part in the childs life. I think the real issue is parental responsibility once wrong choices have been made and not how old someone is when they have a child. Although i feel it necessary to add that when I was 9, 10,11, I was still playing with dolls and having sleepovers. In fact John and I dated for two years before we even had sex. I can't imagine having done somthing so intimate when I was still indulged in barbies.

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Originally posted by New CCU RN

Not all teenage moms are running wild, having sex w/ every boy they encounter and were raised by unresponsible, undedicated parents.

I was raised in a Catholic family by good, caring and supportive parents. My sister was dating a boy for 1.5 years. At the tail end of those 1.5 years they made a mistake and decided to have sex. They used condoms and the pill, however, she ended up getting pregnant at the age of 15.

This is just my opinion and if I offend anyone with what I am about to say I am apolizing in advance. Letting a 13 year old girl date ANYONE is hardly what I would consider being a responsible parent. That's just an accident waiting to happen - WHICH IT DID. Not all teenagers that run wild end up as teenage mothers. My parents let me run wild but I was NOT a teenage mother. I am 26 years old and I don't have ANY kids. Even at 26, I can't imagine having a baby.

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Let me start by saying I didn't mean to start a debate on teenage parenting or adoption, I myself had a teenage pregnancy but, I was 19 not 9, the product of that pregnancy is now 8 and is currently sitting in his bedroom playing video games, he came home from school today had a snack did his homework and then proceded to ask me 699 times when dinner would be ready, I don't doubt that some "older" teens are mature enough to care for a child, but I cannot grasp the concept of 9 year olds having babies when I'm looking at this 8 year old in my home who is nothing more than a child whose only concern is his huge appetite.

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Originally posted by amyindallas

This is just my opinion and if I offend anyone with what I am about to say I am apolizing in advance. Letting a 13 year old girl date ANYONE is hardly what I would consider being a responsible parent. That's just an accident waiting to happen - WHICH IT DID. Not all teenagers that run wild end up as teenage mothers. My parents let me run wild but I was NOT a teenage mother. I am 26 years old and I don't have ANY kids. Even at 26, I can't imagine having a baby.

Ya know what...... it is judgemental AZZES like yourself that make me irritated w/ this board. You have no idea what you are talking about and your insults are taken to heart.

For your information, my sister was not allowed to date, but she did anyway. None of us were at 13, 14, 15 or 16 for that matter. If you actually could read, you would have also noted that she was 15 NOT 13 and many parents allow 15 year olds to date!!!! She went behind my parents back as far as dating though, which.......... is TYPICAL BEHAVIOR FOR A TEENAGER!!!!!

YOUR COMMENTS THAT MY PARENTS ARE IRRESPONSIBLE ARE TAKEN VERY MUCH SO TO HEART............. that is simply not the case, and I am entirely insulted that you not knowing me or my family or any details of my life would insuate such a thing. You need to get off your high horse and grow up.......

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Specializes in Specializes in L/D, newborn, GYN, LTC, Dialysis.

CCU I understand where you are coming from. But can you please take this sort of thing PM?????

Let' try to get back on topic if we can ---I am very sorry for bringing up the subject of adoption here. very sorry.:o

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Originally posted by New CCU RN

Ya know what...... it is judgemental AZZES like yourself that make me irritated w/ this board. You have no idea what you are talking about and your insults are taken to heart.

For your information, my sister was not allowed to date, but she did anyway. None of us were at 13, 14, 15 or 16 for that matter. If you actually could read, you would have also noted that she was 15 NOT 13 and many parents allow 15 year olds to date!!!! She went behind my parents back as far as dating though, which.......... is TYPICAL BEHAVIOR FOR A TEENAGER!!!!!

YOUR COMMENTS THAT MY PARENTS ARE IRRESPONSIBLE ARE TAKEN VERY MUCH SO TO HEART............. that is simply not the case, and I am entirely insulted that you not knowing me or my family or any details of my life would insuate such a thing. You need to get off your high horse and grow up.......

I'd like to remind you that this is a PUBLIC board and you put yourself at risk for comments when you post something. I have no problems at all being responsible for my words or my actions. That's why I apolized in advance for my comment, I wasn't ignorant in knowing that you'd be upset by my comment but I have freedom of speech and a right to my opinion just the same.

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amyindallas had a valid point because you stated the following:

"I was raised in a Catholic family by good, caring and supportive parents. My sister was dating a boy for 1.5 years. At the tail end of those 1.5 years they made a mistake and decided to have sex. They used condoms and the pill, however, she ended up getting pregnant at the age of 15."

15 - 1.5 = 13.5

So, I think we can all agree that 13.5 is too young to date. But maybe not. There are women I work with who let their junior high daughters date 11th and 12th grade boys. I actually think 15 is too young for one on one dating.

We all know kids deceive their parents and I'm sure your parents did the best they could. My kids have certainly made their share of mistakes.

But you have to cut some of us moms of teens a break. We really do see parents who toss their kids to the wolves and then are oh so happy to be grandparents.

And Deb, don't be sorry about bringing up adoption. It is a wonderful option and the most loving thing a mom can do for her child if she cannot take care of her child.

We all need to take a deep breath and realize that we want what is best for the baby. And babies having babies is not the best - even if there are some positive stories out there. The majority are not positive.

Best wishes to those single moms out there making a good life for your kids.

steph

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Originally posted by amyindallas

I'd like to remind you that this is a PUBLIC board and you put yourself at risk for comments when you post something. I have no problems at all being responsible for my words or my actions. That's why I apolized in advance for my comment, I wasn't ignorant in knowing that you'd be upset by my comment but I have freedom of speech and a right to my opinion just the same.

And I would like to remind you that in order to have an opinion you have to know the details, not bits and pieces.

I agree this is a public board. It is fine to have differing opinions but without knowing the whole story you have no basis.

Your comments came across as a harsh personal attack.

And honestly what you are saying above is that you specifically said that in order to upset me. That sounds a little trollish to me.....

As far as it being via PM, I do see your point SBE, however, it also seems to be the weaker way to go. I pubically disagree with what the poster is saying... just my opinion. :)

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Whoa! Is this a teen mom debate? Because the title states "Babies having Babies" and the original posted mentioned a 9 year old. Not a 17,18,19 year old.

Had a 12 year olds baby as a patient once.Her first reaction when she saw him was, "Ewwww! He so small!" Her and her girlfriends would come in a gawk at him for a little bit, giggle and leave.Baby was released to granmom. Had a 15 year old that took one look at her baby and ran, yes ran, out the door.

We sat around one night with a doc that just did an adolescent clininc. Had a 15 year old preggo who's mom was 30 herself. then he told us of the 12 year old boy with more partners than he could could on his two hands. Doc asked him if he knew what monogamy was and he said, "I don't do it with no men!" . I'd of laughed, but since it was true I could not.

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I think 15 is the youngest mom I've had so far. But don't ya just love it.... try to explain a lady partsl exam much less do one.... I always feel like I've committed rape or something...... I always wonder how they got pregnant in the first place.....LOL

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