Attracted to a physician?!?

Hoosier_RN, MSN · Nov 18, 2015

Stop the texting, no matter how innocent. Many times, the friendship can lead to something else, or to others, a perceived something else. Now that said, does your spouse know about these texts? If you're hiding them, there's something wrong with that picture. And flip this. How would you feel if your spouse and an opposite sex employee were texting each other and there was some flirting going on? No accusations, just some food for thought

elkpark · Nov 18, 2015

Enjoy the crush for what it's worth (which is v. little), and do nothing to act on it. It will pass. We're not in high school any more.

lavenderskies, BSN · Nov 18, 2015

Human nature. Happens all the time. People that follow the feelings instead of refocusing on their promises and family destroy relationships every day.

Don't feed the wolf. :sneaky:

Karou · Nov 18, 2015

Agree about not feeding the wolf! I have had attractions to my coworkers before. I am happily married. The attractions come and go. I have never and would never act on them.

It's difficult not to form bonds and attractions because of how much time we spend with our coworkers. In addition, there are some things about our job that my SO cannot fully understand. To have someone physically attractive to you who does understand, who you already spend 36 hours a week around... It gets dangerous.

I acknowledge my feelings (to myself only) and am extra cautious with my actions and boundaries. All of my "crushes" have eventually faded to entirely enjoyable platonic relationships.

Atl-Murse · Nov 20, 2015

Emotions can be a very powerful force to ignore. Understand if you act on your feelings you will lose a lot. There is always a small chance (

EaglesWings21, ASN, RN · Nov 21, 2015

I like that you have acknowledged this and have a concern. I strongly urge you to think about what everyone has told you. Crushes are new and exciting but you made four children with your husband and as you said, you are happy. It would be a terrible thing if you let a temporary moment of pleasure come in between that. If you continue texting him and going out with him you are setting yourself up to cheat.

elkpark · Nov 21, 2015

If you continue texting him and going out with him you are setting yourself up to cheat.

Or, even if it would never go that far and remains entirely innocent, creating problems and conflicts at home if your husband happens to find out about it. (Little thought experiment: OP, how would you feel about your husband texting and going out with a female coworker outside of work??)

SmilingBluEyes · Nov 21, 2015

Always keep in mind what you have to lose. A fleeting flirtation and attraction are not worth it. I would stop all non-essential contact NOW.

Cola89 · Nov 21, 2015

Understand that as profoundly sexy these feelings (or this person) might make you feel, it is nothing new to the world and is just a part of the human experience for most of us. YOU control how you react. Also, I think you should work on creating better boundaries so that you don't find yourself sliding down this slope ... seems like you're starting to and I think if you didn't give out your # it'd be less the case.

sharifi9879 · Nov 23, 2015

this is the exact situation in which You would be regretful in the future. So leave this temporary lust and think about your great family.

caliotter3 · Nov 23, 2015

Force yourself to think of the worst. If a scandal should ensue, and sometimes they do, it is rarely the physician who loses his standing in the workplace. Can you afford to lose your job and your professional reputation in addition to whatever fallout happens with your family? Always keep in mind that you are likely the one with the most to lose in this situation. It isn't worth it.