I'm an atheist. I am uncomfortable around religious situations. I haven't started nursing school yet (14 weeks to go). I'm concerned with being confronted with people that would ask me to "Pray for them" and stuff. I don't know if this is a common occurrence among patients, etc. Aside from not wanting to be included in religious sentiments, I also am very uncomfortable with lying. I think I would find moral difficulty with saying "Okay" to someone that would ask me to pray for them.
I'd prefer to hear from atheists how they deal with situations like that. I'd rather not get into a religion discussion, if it can be avoided.
I was trying to search for old threads, but the links from the search engine are not going to the correct pages.
Specializes in Cardiac care/Ortho/LTC/Education/Psych.
Loner,
If you are ever interested in looking at evidence for Christianity, it is out there. Its in literature, archeology, astronomy, (you name it). The same cannot be said for any other "religion" I guess you and I will find out what the truth is when we stand before our Maker someday. My relationship with God is a personal one, not through any particular church, and its not a religion. Religion is when people try to be good to please God. Christianity is technically the only faith that is not a religion because we need to do nothing to please God, Jesus did it all at the cross.
Wow, I am kind of puzzled here now myself. I am not sure what to say? Well , I can only say what I usually say to my patients who are asking me why I do not go to a church :" I believe that Existentialism and Quantum Physics has something to do with me. Maybe you are calling it God and I will certainly pray for your well being through your existence on the planet Earth and happy transformation of our energy and atoms from one state to another; and certainly I do believe that YOUR religion is the BEST FOR YOU and I also can say it for EVERY RELIGION I come up across. It is the best for the person who believes in it !!!!And Maker ??? Well ,let us leave it to him to judge what is the best believing system and what is "any other religion" !!!!!!
Why does it make you uncomfortable when patients ask you if you believe in Jesus? If you don't, you don't, if you do, you do, and you don't have to discuss your personal life/beliefs with your patients. If it's a moment where the patient is truly afraid, you might ask them, "Do you? Is there someone you would like me to call to come be with you/pray with you?" I'm not sure if they truly want to know what you personally believe, or if they are reaching out for spiritual help/guidance. That might be a good time for a chaplain referral.
That's a very excellent way of handling that situation.
If they are asking because they need spiritual help then we can guide them. If they are asking to save me from going to Hell if I tell the truth, then that's what makes me uncomfortable. :)
That's a very excellent way of handling that situation.
If they are asking because they need spiritual help then we can guide them. If they are asking to save me from going to Hell if I tell the truth, then that's what makes me uncomfortable. :)
Considering the parts of Texas I've worked in (the guy that got uncomfortable at that question) I can say it's a little from column A and a little from column B.
heron , i may have been a bit "over the top" but i really found romansten9's post to be offensive.
if you are a christian, this will probably offend you. don't worry, i don't plan on making any similar threads. as the op, i really would prefer constuctive comments about how to better deal with these situations. forcing me into them isn't helping.
but, that post of romansten9's really offended me, and here are the parts of romansten9's thread that i found offensive:
"... i don't know what circumstances in life have led you to become an atheist..."
i was born and raised athiest, i don't need "circumstances" (which when used in this way usually has a negative connotation) to not believe in a myth.
"...i don't think i can offer you much advice..."
then obviously you can't help, please post somewhere else.
"... i used to refer to myself as a loner too, and my life was quite miserable (even while going to church) before i accepted jesus into my life..."
don't try to compare yourself to me, then discuss how you came to believe myths that, as i posted earlier, i am not comfortable with.
"...our patients depend on us for hope. if we don't have hope ourselves, we can't offer it to them..."
that is obviously a lie, as plenty of people live their lives without hope/faith.
"...i'm not going to try to convince you to become a christian, because you obviously aren't ready for that now..."
that is simple condescending. i am never going to be "ready for that", and if i am, please, shoot me.
"i can only guess that you haven't heard a clear presentation of the gospel"
i think i never got past reading this sentence, because, really, it makes me want to vomit. it is clear that you haven't read it with a sensible outlook. i've read enough to know that even if there were a god, i woudln't be able to respect the one in "the gosphel".
"...being a christian to me is so valuable it's a little bit like being offered a million or a billion dollars..."
i find "being a christian" as more of a function of mass delusion. it was something brought to people with miserable lives so they can think "at least when i die it won't suck so much".
"i'm sorry if i have offended you by talking about my faith, but it's the core of who i am and i feel that good news needs to be shared."
people like you are exactly why i made this post. i realize i'm going to have to deal with overly offensive religious people, and i wanted input on how to deal with them. obviously, i'm not quite prepared yet.
loner,
i said in a previous post that i wouldn't attack or ridicule atheists. its unfortunate that you couldn't do the same for me. perhaps that is a difference in us because of what we believe. blah blah (no i didn't read the rest of it)
please see my above statement regarding how i felt about your attacks on my atheism.
i do have to say though that in my particular experience my fellow christians don't blindly follow a pastor and do question, question and question more.[/quote']
maybe i misread the "lord's prayer".
edit: nevermind.
that is really good advice. i should probably follow it, but, i'm not. this _will_ be my last post regarding religion/nonreligion. i still welcome advice for dealing with it, as it's obvious that i "need some work".
Loner, I'm sorry to hear that prayer makes you uncomfortable, that's a shame. I don't know what circumstances in life have led you to become an atheist, but that is your choice and you have every right to that choice. I don't think I can offer you much advice, since I have a strong faith in God, which has enriched my life beyond measure. I used to refer to myself as a loner too, and my life was quite miserable (even while going to church) before I accepted Jesus into my life, which made all the difference. I am a Paramedic, an LPN and an RN student. I can tell you one thing for sure; our patients depend on us for hope. If we don't have hope ourselves, we can't offer it to them. My God is also the very source of love, caring and healing. I can't fully offer any of those things without God either. I'm not going to try to convince you to become a Christian, because you obviously aren't ready for that now. I can only guess that you haven't heard a clear presentation of the gospel, because I feel that anyone that hears it correctly stated would not deny it. Being a Christian to me is so valuable it's a little bit like being offered a million or a billion dollars, most people would consider it a great blessing, but would probably be skeptical. And skepticism is something that probably keeps many people from the joys of being a Christian. I'm sorry if I have offended you by talking about my faith, but it's the core of who I am and I feel that good news needs to be shared. I hope you find the answers you are looking for loner.
Okay, this is so offensive and inappropriate. I was raised Christian (and felt like a loner most of my youth, incidentally:D), remained spiritual through most of college, but am now atheist and personally experience much more joy than ever before:yeah:. I feel like a veil has been removed from my eyes and I am more open and aware than ever before. But that is just me, and I would never try to take away somebody else's faith. To me it is just as bad to try to impose your faith on anyone else and to say that if someone "correctly" heard the gospel, they would have to believe it . It makes me a little angry when someone says something like, "by the way, I just want you to know that Jesus loves you" or "have you heard the good news?" because how can you respond politely to that? It is so rude to put someone in the position of having to either pretend to accept your beliefs or come off as rude by rejecting them, especially when that person is your healthcare provider and wants to respect your beliefs and make you feel cared for. I understand where they are coming from and try to just assume the person has positive intentions (as I used to when I felt compelled to preach to people!) and acknowledge those, but it certainly makes me uncomfortable. I am not a nurse yet so I suppose I will get more practice, and I appreciate the question and the suggestions posted here!
hi - sorry, i didn't mean to make any comments on here except to encourage us all to treat each other with respect. and to mention that i don't know any sheep.
as to the lord's prayer . . . i see nothing in there that says "do not have questions".
our father in heaven,
hallowed be your name.
your kingdom come,
your will be done,
on earth as in heaven
give us today our daily bread.
forgive us our sins,
as we forgive those who sin against us.
lead us not into temptation,
but deliver us from evil.
for the kingdom, the power and the glory are yours.
Loner ... reread the post ... I said the poster to whom you were replying was over the top.
I agree that you need some work, as do we all ... respect for belief systems we don't share is a learned skill.
What's interesting is that you now seem to equate a pt asking you to pray with them with being an overly offensive religious person.
I will reiterate what I and many other posters, both atheist and not, have advised. If you are not comfortable with a particular religious expression ... don't do it ... but do what you can to get the pt the help she/he needs. You are not required to believe or approve ... just respect.
You have to get past this response to the religious. It doesn't affect them and it hurts you.
If you truly believe them to be deluded people with sucky lives, view them with pity, not anger.
I know, I try, but at the same time, it is just frustrating to find exactly what I specifically said I wasn't interested in reading (and why), yet people find the need to bring it up. I asked the question because I REALIZE I have issues with it. I've really enjoyed a lot of the suggestions and I've found the whole thread, with the exception of the one post(er) because the whole post really offended me (above response and why). But, it's going to take a bit more than reading to get over my frustration. Maybe I should ask about good ways to meditate the feelings away.
Loner ... reread the post ... I said the poster to whom you were replying was over the top.
I agree that you need some work, as do we all ... respect for belief systems we don't share is a learned skill.
What's interesting is that you now seem to equate a pt asking you to pray with them with being an overly offensive religious person.
I will reiterate what I and many other posters, both atheist and not, have advised. If you are not comfortable with a particular religious expression ... don't do it ... but do what you can to get the pt the help she/he needs. You are not required to believe or approve ... just respect.
Heron, I wasn't directing anger at you. I did read your post, I just wanted to point out exactly why I felt offended, and why. In your post, you seemed to think I took an overreacting view, and I probably did, but you may not have seen the parts that I found offensive.
I also don't necessarily include "being asked to pray" in the group of "overly offensive religious people". I just find most of the second group to be a part of the first group. So, even though the first situation may rarely (if ever) occur in my career, there's even a more remote chance that I'd have to deal with the #2. I get a bit (visibly) uncomfortable with prayer, and you can see my reaction to overly religious. It's entirely the reason for this thread.
I'm one of those types of people that wears my heart on my sleeve or something like that. It's hard for me to mask/hide how I _really_ feel. So, I really want some suggestions that would encourage me to not try to be offended by stuff, instead just looking at it differently. Even the suggestion that "there's nothing in my (lack of) religion that says I can't pray" is something that I'm trying to assimilate. I'm just not there, yet.
I know, I try, but at the same time, it is just frustrating to find exactly what I specifically said I wasn't interested in reading (and why), yet people find the need to bring it up. I asked the question because I REALIZE I have issues with it. I've really enjoyed a lot of the suggestions and I've found the whole thread, with the exception of the one post(er) because the whole post really offended me (above response and why). But, it's going to take a bit more than reading to get over my frustration. Maybe I should ask about good ways to meditate the feelings away.
But you know that there is a specific brand of person who will not miss an opportunity to bother you, er, excuse me, witness to you, for the alleged Lord.
Meditation,
grant me the serenity to accept the things I can not change,
courage to change the things I can,
and wisdom to know the different.
Don't get your knickers in a twist over this stuff. It just ain't worth the brain cells you fry in your anger.
grant me the serenity to accept the things I can not change,
courage to change the things I can,
and wisdom to know the different.
Ya know, I spent 5 years being sober in AA (I started when I was 20). I used to say that one a lot. I think the group therapy did me a lot of good, as well as calming down and aging. I even really earnestly tried to believe there was a god. But, it never felt right, and often found myself uncomfortable listening to other people's "finding god" parts. Eventually, I stopped going to meetings, and began to drink. I don't know if I was really an alcoholic, and I don't think I share any symptoms of it now. But, I think I still have a copy of that prayer somewhere (I've also got AA meeting directories for Europe, since I'm a a packrat).
Maybe I should be like George form Seinfeld. SERENITY NOW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I was raised Christian (and felt like a loner most of my youth, incidentally:D), remained spiritual through most of college, but am now atheist and personally experience much more joy than ever before:yeah:. I feel like a veil has been removed from my eyes and I am more open and aware than ever before. But that is just me, and I would never try to take away somebody else's faith. To me it is just as bad to try to impose your faith on anyone else and to say that if someone "correctly" heard the gospel, they would have to believe it 
. It makes me a little angry when someone says something like, "by the way, I just want you to know that Jesus loves you" or "have you heard the good news?" because how can you respond politely to that? It is so rude to put someone in the position of having to either pretend to accept your beliefs or come off as rude by rejecting them, especially when that person is your healthcare provider and wants to respect your beliefs and make you feel cared for. I understand where they are coming from and try to just assume the person has positive intentions (as I used to when I felt compelled to preach to people!) and acknowledge those, but it certainly makes me uncomfortable. I am not a nurse yet so I suppose I will get more practice, and I appreciate the question and the suggestions posted here!
bosnanurse
99 Posts
Wow, I am kind of puzzled here now myself. I am not sure what to say? Well , I can only say what I usually say to my patients who are asking me why I do not go to a church :" I believe that Existentialism and Quantum Physics has something to do with me. Maybe you are calling it God and I will certainly pray for your well being through your existence on the planet Earth and happy transformation of our energy and atoms from one state to another; and certainly I do believe that YOUR religion is the BEST FOR YOU and I also can say it for EVERY RELIGION I come up across. It is the best for the person who believes in it !!!!And Maker ??? Well ,let us leave it to him to judge what is the best believing system and what is "any other religion" !!!!!!