I'm an atheist. I am uncomfortable around religious situations. I haven't started nursing school yet (14 weeks to go). I'm concerned with being confronted with people that would ask me to "Pray for them" and stuff. I don't know if this is a common occurrence among patients, etc. Aside from not wanting to be included in religious sentiments, I also am very uncomfortable with lying. I think I would find moral difficulty with saying "Okay" to someone that would ask me to pray for them.
I'd prefer to hear from atheists how they deal with situations like that. I'd rather not get into a religion discussion, if it can be avoided.
I was trying to search for old threads, but the links from the search engine are not going to the correct pages.
Yes, I saw the same posts you did, and the one to which you refer made me a bit queasy as well.
As the 12-steppers say, take what you need and leave the rest. I read that post as an attempt to describe the meaning that religion has for that particular poster ... important information to have especially for non-believers, since, at the very least, we need to know roughly where our pts vulnerabilities are to avoid doing harm.
As for the condescending attitude and assumptions about your personal journey ... well, I usually say something like, "thank you for your concern" and go about my business. Allowing such things to get my adrenaline up is giving too much power to a belief system I don't share.
I've said it before, I don't argue religion since we're all gonna die and I'll find out the truth soon enough. See the interaction between me and Suesquatch earlier in this very thread. She exemplifies my own approach to beliefs I do not understand and find unsympathetic or scary. She has an automatic gut reaction to the word witch, is aware of it and does not let it lead her into unjustified assumptions or disrespect for my traditions.
Perhaps awareness of your own hot buttons is the starting point?
I really appreciate your honesty, and I have really enjoyed reading this post. You got a lot of good input from athiests and religious people alike. You knew that posting this kind of question would likely get someone to try to convert you - and you did! I wish you had a tougher skin and could ignore it.
I don't know how many people have tried to "convert" you over the years, but you seem to be very defensive about it. If you are secure in your lifestyle, what does it really matter what anyone else really thinks? I would guess that the vast majority of religious people really don't care what you believe in. I am a few years older than you, and have only been approached a handfull of times by "overly religious people" - most of them from a certain group that is required to go door-to-door, and a one or two that I worked with many years ago. I do not make it a practice of discussing my religious beliefs, and if someone does bring it up, I really don't engage. I know a lot of people think of Christianity the way you do, and I'm really not interested knowing if other people think I am stupid for my beliefs.
I don't know how many religious people you will encounter as a nurse - depends on your community and what type of nursing you do. I do know, however, like a lot of people have said, that it comes down to respect. If you really think this whole group of people are absurd, want to laugh or roll your eyes when listening to them, then you do need a whole lot of work.
After reading your last posts, I would change my advise to you. I would strongly recommend that if a patient does ask you to pray with them, you get the chaplain immediately. you should not have to do something that you are not comfortable with, and you may not be able to disguise your contempt for religion with the patient.
Ya know, I spent 5 years being sober in AA (I started when I was 20). I used to say that one a lot. I think the group therapy did me a lot of good, as well as calming down and aging. I even really earnestly tried to believe there was a god. But, it never felt right, and often found myself uncomfortable listening to other people's "finding god" parts. Eventually, I stopped going to meetings, and began to drink. I don't know if I was really an alcoholic, and I don't think I share any symptoms of it now. But, I think I still have a copy of that prayer somewhere (I've also got AA meeting directories for Europe, since I'm a a packrat).
Maybe I should be like George form Seinfeld. SERENITY NOW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
:scrm:
I was lucky. I started going to meetings in 1979, back when the Earth was cooling, and an old woman used to pound her fist on the table and bark, "YOU DON'T HAVE TO GET GOD TO GET THIS PROGRAM!"
And a good thing, too.
And Heron makes a good point. When one begins to have a visceral reaction to something, a reaction that exceeds the actual potential for harm, one must pull back and examine it.
We could derail this thread right into delineating where and how religion has hurt society, but that's really not the focus we need for you and your role as a nurse.
My mother is as dogmatic in her atheism as the Pope is in interpreting canon law. She is also vocal and sometimes very unnecessarily offensive about her lack of faith, barging in to bring it up much as did the poster who so offended you did his faith. Had I not learned to ignore my mother a long time ago - and believe me, it's still a battle - and not to follow her example in all things I'd be pretty miserable. She's generally an extremely kind, generous person but she has a blind spot regarding religion that makes her a crazed pit bull of an atheist.
Calm down. Thank the one praying for your enlightenment of your soul and move on, much as you would about anything but this bot button issue.
No one can stand on my neck unless I kneel down. (Sojourner Truth, I think)
If you stop reacting, they'll likely stop poking ... no fun anymore.
I realized thirty years ago that the more energy I gave to being outraged by the behavior of my former church, the more that church was still running my life.
Now I use that energy to define what I am, not what I'm not.
In any case, it's still important that we have some sort of boundary between our private belief and our professional obligation to support. It is not the responsibility of my pts to avoid MY hot buttons ... it's my responsibility to disconnect them from my interaction with my pts.
I did try to offer some advice about your question about prayer in an earlier post. Your attacks on my Christianity tell me that this is really an issue for you. It may be very difficult for you if you are faced with these situations as a nurse. I have faced situations with just about every religion in the past 20 years and being respectful (and quiet) has served me well. I have been respectful of you and I continually said "I hope I don't offend you" and "sorry" and "you have every right to be an atheist, its your choice" On the other hand, every post to me by you has been an attack and you have twisted the meaning of just about every word I have said. I don't appreciate the way you have spoken to me, but I am willing to forgive you for it.
I did try to offer some advice about your question about prayer in an earlier post. Your attacks on my Christianity tell me that this is really an issue for you. It may be very difficult for you if you are faced with these situations as a nurse. I have faced situations with just about every religion in the past 20 years and being respectful (and quiet) has served me well. I have been respectful of you and I continually said "I hope I don't offend you" and "sorry" and "you have every right to be an atheist, its your choice" On the other hand, every post to me by you has been an attack and you have twisted the meaning of just about every word I have said. I don't appreciate the way you have spoken to me, but I am willing to forgive you for it.
Your articulation of what your religion means to you was eloquent and beautiful.
Your assumption that Loner is atheist because he's just not ready for the truth was the part that got to me ... it was a bit like someone telling me that I'm lesbian because I've been hurt by men and just need to find "the right one" to see the light.
Loner has already posted about what bothered him in your posts.
I understand that many christian traditions call for witnessing and preaching your faith ... our various points were that when such witnessing is not welcome, you need to STOP. The lord will understand that you tried.
Meanwhile, as another poster has pointed out, if you're going to poke a tiger with a stick, don't cry if he growls back.
I did try to offer some advice about your question about prayer in an earlier post. Your attacks on my Christianity tell me that this is really an issue for you. It may be very difficult for you if you are faced with these situations as a nurse. I have faced situations with just about every religion in the past 20 years and being respectful (and quiet) has served me well. I have been respectful of you and I continually said "I hope I don't offend you" and "sorry" and "you have every right to be an atheist, its your choice" On the other hand, every post to me by you has been an attack and you have twisted the meaning of just about every word I have said. I don't appreciate the way you have spoken to me, but I am willing to forgive you for it.
Perhaps you should reconsider your approach. I really don't think you've been respectful at all, and to me you came off as quite insulting. It's not okay just because you added things like "I hope I don't offend you" as you said offensive things. This passage by Maya Angelou is something I think back to often:
"Certain phrases excite and alarm me. When I hear them I respond as if I've heard gas escaping in a closed room. Without having to think about my next move, if I am not hemmed in I make my way toward the handiest exit. If I cannot escape however, I react defensively. Well, I do mind brutality in any of it's guises and I will not be lured into accepting it merely because the brute asks me to do so!
'I hope you don't take this the wrong way.' That is always a bell ringer for me. I sense the mealy-mouthed attacker approaching. If I cannot flee, I explain in no uncertain terms if there is even the slightest chance I might take a statement the wrong way, be assured I will do so!
I advise the speaker that it would be better to remain silent rather than try to collect the speaker's bruised feelings which I intend to leave in pieces, scattered on the floor." ~ Maya Angelou, Author of Wouldn't Take Nothing For My Journey Now
Life is so short - it's exquisitely beautiful and breathtakingly painful. Why add to any pain and discord? It just seems to me that in such matters, it doesn't really matter who is right, but who is at peace and kind. Why be so critical of others?
Some day when you are old, if you are lucky enough to be old someday, will you be proud of this? Is this anger and defensiveness something you will wish you had engaged in more? Would you want others to talk about you in the manner/tone you have talked about the religious?
Atheos
2,098 Posts
Don't feel bad. I get told daily that I need Jesus in my life.