At dinner out, I am chastised for drinking before work by manager -- help?

Nurses General Nursing

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Wanted to pose this question here for more experienced nurses to answer.

We as orientees were invited out to a pharmaceutical dinner by our manager/master preceptor. We were doing night shift, but they decided to have us show up for dinner at 7 and the plan was to go into work after dinner. A nice deviation from orientation and just sort of a perk they offered us.

Well, it was a very fancy steak dinner place and when we walked in, everyone was offered a glass of red or white wine before dinner by the wait staff. I accepted a glass of red wine, carried it to my table, sipped from it slowly before dinner, didn't even FINISH it, drank water with my meal and had a cup of coffee afterwards. I probably consumed less than 2 oz of wine and had it with an enormous 2 lb steak and potato.

After dinner I was actually wired and alert from the coffee and doing fine. I am totally used to having a glass of wine with dinner, especially with such an upscale meal.

But my manager just totally got on me during a routine meeting going over my weekly evals. I mean -- she was ALL over me, saying HER license was at risk, that I could have been "impaired" from drinking during dinner, etc. and that I should not have accepted it.

I see her point, but I just again, feel like my character has been denigrated. I am a 44 year old mother of 3, the most safe and responsible person on earth -- I wouldn't DREAM of getting buzzed before work, know my limits, etc. It was a glass of wine, not a whisky double for God's sake!!

I told her it would have been better if they had perhaps given us a gentle reminder that it would not be wise to drink since we were expected at work that night -- that THEY invited us to this before a worknight and that wine was available at this event and if they didn't want us to drink, they should have given us a gentle reminder.

I don't know -- again, I just work my behind off at work, do a good job, yet I'm chastised for such a small offense over which nothing happened and no one got hurt. In looking back she was saying something about it at dinner, but was very indirect about it and I just paid no attention to it.

Any thoughts? Was I totally inappropriate to accept a drink before going on shift 2-3 hours later. I guess I was, but was there a better way to handle this on their part?

I haven't been "drunk" in probably over 10 years. I don't get drunk. I hate to even be drunk. I do like my wine with dinner when I go out because it compliments the meal. I suppose I was wrong, but I'm having a hard time dealing with this for some reason.

To me, especially after living in Europe for over 6 years, to drink wine with a meal is like having table water. You just drink it. I guess my values and my ideas are different -- maybe I was being irresponsible and showing poor judgement -- but it's a tough pill to swallow and hard to be scolded over it.

Specializes in School Nursing.

I would not have taken a drink. That's just me.

You live and learn. Forget about it.

Praiser :heartbeat

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soundofmusic, it is within your right to have this thread closed, if the responses are too overwhelming.

just pm a mod/admin, and they will close it for you.

i feel badly you're getting slammed.

leslie

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SoundofMusic, Please do not feel bad my intention was never to hurt you but rather to just give some imput, I am sorry if it appears that I am "slamming" you. I can see how it would appear that way. Sorry again..Irish6363.

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SoundofMusic, Please do not feel bad my intention was never to hurt you but rather to just give some imput, I am sorry if it appears that I am "slamming" you. I can see how it would appear that way. Sorry again..Irish6363.

irish, i am not referencing anyone in particular.... at all.

but with the response being a unanimous and resounding "no, you shouldn't have had that drink", i think she gets our point.

i'm sitting here with my face scrunched, thinking, "poor girl"...

leslie

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Yes, I agree. I guess sometimes we get carried away in these discusions and it starts a life of its own. But I really just hope she doesn't feel bad here because we are here to help each other and share stories and encourage one another. Although I would dare to say no-one probably meant to "slamm her" but rather give opinions. Your point is valid. I like the way you think.

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Specializes in Advanced Practice, surgery.
I've worked with a couple of British nurses in the past. One told me that if a nurse was having a bad day, her manager in the U.K. would invite the nurse to go to her office and have a glass of sherry. Another nurse told me that they give beer to their patients - and that they use diacetylmorphine (heroin) as an analgesic in the U.K.

Nevertheless, I wouldn't have taken alcohol in any quantity or context shortly before a shift, especially with my manager watching.

I can't imagine any manager serving alcohol in the office, this would be a disciplinary offence and without exception all NHS trust would discourage this.

Yes we do use diamorphine for analgesia, within paliative care or for patients who have had an MI, not for every patient with pain.

I personally would not encourage any nurse to drink alcohol before a shift.

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Specializes in Staff Dev--Critical Care & Trauma.
Yes, I agree. I guess sometimes we get carried away in these discusions and it starts a life of its own. But I really just hope she doesn't feel bad here because we are here to help each other and share stories and encourage one another. Although I would dare to say no-one probably meant to "slamm her" but rather give opinions. Your point is valid. I like the way you think.

On the other hand, the OP has been a member for over a year. Surely she didn't expect to make a post like this and only have one or two responses. If only one or two responses was what she wanted, perhaps a private mail to a trusted poster/friend would have been a better choice.

When you ask a community, you get a community response.

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Specializes in neuro, ICU/CCU, tropical medicine.
Yes we do use diamorphine for analgesia, within paliative care or for patients who have had an MI, not for every patient with pain.

Thanks - in this country people would freak if they told they were getting 'heroin.' I've had people get worked up about getting methadone; "Isn't that what you give to junkies?!"

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Specializes in Advanced Practice, surgery.
Thanks - in this country people would freak if they told they were getting 'heroin.' I've had people get worked up about getting methadone; "Isn't that what you give to junkies?!"

We don't tell them it's Heroin just diamorpine :D

They are usually too sick to care

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Specializes in neuro, ICU/CCU, tropical medicine.
We don't tell them it's Heroin just diamorpine

Yeah, I tell my patients on warfarin I'm giving them rat poison. "Oh, just a little."

It drives home the point of keeping on top of their PT/INR.

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Specializes in Community Health, Med-Surg, Home Health.
OP did state paid no attention to what manager was saying at dinner:

Could it be the manager tried to point out about alcohol consumption and going to work, but didn't want to make a scene.......?? Just my 2 cents.

the mgr couldn't have been 'that' concerned if she allowed op to go to work...

leslie

Winkybach, I totally get your point...maybe so, but, really, if the manager had something to say at the gathering, maybe she could have taken the worker to the side, and also, (I have to read the post again) but hey, was the manager drinking as well?What I am saying, is that this manager knows that there are nurses who are to report to work within a few hours. Why promote something that conflicts with patient care if she obviously felt that way? Where there physicians there as well, or pharmacists? And, if so, did she scold them in front of people, also? Under a casual setting, with so much going on, a person can be easily distracted and not hear what their boss is saying.

Again, this is why I really don't care for social gatherings outside of work with direct collagues. These things are like frisbees...sometimes, it comes back to haunt you.

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Specializes in Medical and general practice now LTC.

Back in 2000 when I worked in the hospital in the UK just wasn't allowed to have any alcohol on the ward. Sometimes odd exception but even then had to be prescribed and if staff was caught with alcohol was disciplinary/sackable offense

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