At dinner out, I am chastised for drinking before work by manager -- help?

[SoundofMusic]

Wanted to pose this question here for more experienced nurses to answer.

We as orientees were invited out to a pharmaceutical dinner by our manager/master preceptor. We were doing night shift, but they decided to have us show up for dinner at 7 and the plan was to go into work after dinner. A nice deviation from orientation and just sort of a perk they offered us.

Well, it was a very fancy steak dinner place and when we walked in, everyone was offered a glass of red or white wine before dinner by the wait staff. I accepted a glass of red wine, carried it to my table, sipped from it slowly before dinner, didn't even FINISH it, drank water with my meal and had a cup of coffee afterwards. I probably consumed less than 2 oz of wine and had it with an enormous 2 lb steak and potato.

After dinner I was actually wired and alert from the coffee and doing fine. I am totally used to having a glass of wine with dinner, especially with such an upscale meal.

But my manager just totally got on me during a routine meeting going over my weekly evals. I mean -- she was ALL over me, saying HER license was at risk, that I could have been "impaired" from drinking during dinner, etc. and that I should not have accepted it.

I see her point, but I just again, feel like my character has been denigrated. I am a 44 year old mother of 3, the most safe and responsible person on earth -- I wouldn't DREAM of getting buzzed before work, know my limits, etc. It was a glass of wine, not a whisky double for God's sake!!

I told her it would have been better if they had perhaps given us a gentle reminder that it would not be wise to drink since we were expected at work that night -- that THEY invited us to this before a worknight and that wine was available at this event and if they didn't want us to drink, they should have given us a gentle reminder.

I don't know -- again, I just work my behind off at work, do a good job, yet I'm chastised for such a small offense over which nothing happened and no one got hurt. In looking back she was saying something about it at dinner, but was very indirect about it and I just paid no attention to it.

Any thoughts? Was I totally inappropriate to accept a drink before going on shift 2-3 hours later. I guess I was, but was there a better way to handle this on their part?

I haven't been "drunk" in probably over 10 years. I don't get drunk. I hate to even be drunk. I do like my wine with dinner when I go out because it compliments the meal. I suppose I was wrong, but I'm having a hard time dealing with this for some reason.

To me, especially after living in Europe for over 6 years, to drink wine with a meal is like having table water. You just drink it. I guess my values and my ideas are different -- maybe I was being irresponsible and showing poor judgement -- but it's a tough pill to swallow and hard to be scolded over it.

[tanisjade]

Sound of Music

I never have a alcoholic beverage of any kind on the day I have to work. I also work nights. This is a firm rule that I follow.

[Warpster]

Perhaps your manager could use a gentle reminder of how alcohol is metabolized.

One unit of alcohol, meaing 4 oz. of wine, 8 oz. of beer or a jigger of whiskey, is fully metabolized in one hour.

I'm sure you can find this in writing in numerous sites online, print it out, and hand it to this person if the subject ever comes up again.

In the meantime, one always has to be prissy in front of management. It doesn't do to give them anything to carp about, and management types will look for it if it isn't out in the open, because it will come back to haunt you many years later.

[tankar]

I too am 44 and have been a nurse for 23+ yrs. It is just this past year that I am willing to have a drink on the day I work nights. I cannot believe my loyalty and committment for 22+ years, denying myself a "glass of wine" at dinner, because I was working. Well no more. Like yourself, I know my limits am responsible and put no one at risk over a glass of wine(or two) hours before my shift. Young girls come to work Sat am reaking of booze and hungover and that is tolerated because it is the night before. Coincidently, I was at a nursing appreciation dinner and sat beside my boss. It was upscale and the wine was flowing. I had three glasses because I wasn't driving and knew I was going to now have a good snooze before my 8hr night. My boss allows the greatest incompetancies on the unit, and I would invite this argument. Anyone who thinks you put anyone at risk is clearly inexperienced. You did nothing wrong!!!!

[CseMgr1, ASN, RN]

Guess the moral of this story is: never give your Manager or anyone else you work with any reason to believe that your judgment could be compromised.

I have seen more than one doctor come to work drunker than a Fiddler's......um, never mind. No one said a word to them about their behavior.

Enough said.

[lamazeteacher]

i too am 44 and have been a nurse for 23+ yrs. it is just this past year that i am willing to have a drink on the day i work nights. i cannot believe my loyalty and committment for 22+ years, denying myself a "glass of wine" at dinner, because i was working. well no more. like yourself, i know my limits am responsible and put no one at risk over a glass of wine(or two) hours before my shift. young girls come to work sat am reaking of booze and hungover and that is tolerated because it is the night before. coincidently, i was at a nursing appreciation dinner and sat beside my boss. it was upscale and the wine was flowing. i had three glasses because i wasn't driving and knew i was going to now have a good snooze before my 8hr night. my boss allows the greatest incompetancies on the unit, and i would invite this argument. anyone who thinks you put anyone at risk is clearly inexperienced. you did nothing wrong!!!!

your post is like the person caught speeding, who defend him/herself by saying, "everyone else was going the speed i was, i was going with the flow of traffic". that is a "guilty" plea. just because others are inebriated

before or after their shifts, doesn't mean that they function as they would otherwise. research that on the web........

also, getting a "good sleep" isn't the norm after drinking alcocol. the opposite is true. please read the following:

nix the nightcap for better sleep?

webmd investigates the booze-snooze connection and why drinking before bedtime could affect the quality of your shuteye.

by jenny stamos kovacs

webmd the magazine - feature

reviewed by michael j. breus, phd

joanne brucker, 47, grew up with european parents, who considered it traditional to drink wine with dinner each night. but eventually she noticed her nightly quaffing was interfering with her slumber. "i tried to keep it up," she says, "but anything more than two glasses definitely kept me from falling asleep. why does alcohol before bedtime affect me so much?"

simply put, alcohol makes it hard for you to stay asleep and sleep well, says j. todd arnedt, phd, clinical assistant professor at the sleep and chronophysiology laboratory at the university of michigan.

still, the nightcap has quite a following: up to 15% of people use alcohol to seduce the sandman, large-scale surveys show, even though research suggests that it loses any benefit as a sleep aid within just a few days, arnedt says. after a few nights of regular imbibing, your body builds up a tolerance to alcohol's effects.

a larger dose than usual will put you out like a light, of course. however, according to arnedt, this type of slumber steals from the sleep you would normally get early on in your nightly cycle (called dream sleep). hours later, when your body has mostly metabolized the alcohol, your sleep becomes fragmented, and you're prone to frequent wakings (often to hit the bathroom).

you may also struggle with snoring, night sweats, nightmares, headaches, and insomnia. and if you suffer from obstructive sleep apnea, be extremely careful when mixing sleep with alcohol. because alcohol is a muscle relaxant, the muscles at the back of your throat ease even more than usual, causing extra-severe symptoms and even (though rarely) potential death. research from the university of wisconsin-madison shows that men, especially, have longer episodes of sleep-disordered- breathing after drinking alcohol.

then, there's the morning after. if you've indulged a bit too much the night before, don't be surprised if you wake up dehydrated and sleep-deprived. and if you've stayed up later than usual, you'll likely feel even worse.

brucker no longer drinks wine every night. "it ruins my sleep and gives me pounding headaches," she says. "so i save wine for nights when i go out. when i do have a glass at a restaurant predinner, i actually enjoy it more."

if you do want to savor a little wine with your dinner, here's how to make sure alcohol won't hamper your shut-eye that night:

follow the three-hour rule. finish drinking at least three hours before bedtime.

take it easy. don't overdo your imbibing -- stick with one or two drinks per day.

retire early. try not to stay up too much past your usual bedtime -- this only increases alcohol's sleep-depriving effects.

hydrate. follow the one-for-one rule: drink one glass of water for every glass of alcohol to help prevent dehydration. and down a few extra glasses of water the next morning, too.

originally published in the november/december 2007 issue of webmd