I know I've asked some really, really stupid questions in my day. Right now, though, none of them come to mind. The stupidest question I can think of right now was asked by a married father of three who was an intern years and years ago. I was working Med/Surg as an RN, and had 30 patients with an LPN and an NA. The intern came by the room where the NA and I were struggling to clean up poop on an obese, elderly gentleman who had been rolling in and fingerpainting with the stuff. The intern told me that I needed to put a catheter in Mrs. P "STAT" so he could look at the urine under a microscope. This being before the age of customer service, I (probably not so politely) told him that I was busy, and if he needed it stat he could do it himself. He nodded and disappeared for long enough for us to finish cleaning up that gentleman and move on. The NA and I again had our hands full with an incontinent patient when the intern popped his head into the room saying he had a question. I anticipated something like "what do I hook the catheter to" or "where are the specimen labels?" but it was nothing like that.
"There are THREE holes down there," he told me. "Which one does it go in?"
The NA told me later that my jaw dropped and my mouth was hanging open. The only response I could come up with is "HOW long have you been married?"
The NA was the one who drew him the picture, labeling the three holes "poop" "pee" and "baby."
