Are shy and quiet people not allowed to be nurses?

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I am a nursing student and wanted to get feedback from nurses. I've always been shy and quiet, but once I'm comfortable I will open up. I'm better talking to a person when it's 1 to 1. I am almost finished my with 3rd clinical. I have 4 more clinicals left. The clinical instructor I have right now told me I would never be a good nurse because I am so shy and quiet. She tells me I will pass for her clinical since we only have 3 more days left, but she said she doesn't think I will make it out there. I told her it is true that I am quiet, but I always talk to the patients I have and I am more attentive because I do listen more. I told her I believe otherwise, but she didn't agree with me. Other instructors have told me I would be a great nurse and I'm doing great in my courses, getting a B+ or better while working full-time. I was unable to sleep at night after coming home yesterday about what she said. I'm doubting myself now and I don't know what to do..

Specializes in cardiac-telemetry, hospice, ICU.

Proverb: "talk less, say more". A nurse provides quality care for the patient by constantly assessing. To assess, one must look, listen, observe, and think. Quiet people are able to do this very well, little lip flapping involved. Sure, as others say quiet might be correlated with weak. If you can be assertive and not 'weak', being shy has little to do with the nurses ability to advocate for the patient. Keep slugging and prove her wrong.

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Never heard such a stupid statement in my life" can't be a good nurse if you are shy and quiet". I would never say this to my instructor, but I would just tell your instructor to SHOVE IT just for saying something so stupid. Your instructor must be like some of the nurses I know, they are not shy but when you hear them speak, stupid comes out. When you see the way they act, they clearly belong in strip clubs and not in the hospital environment. The entire floor knows every detail about their personal life, like anyone cares. They want to be the center of attention and they do get it and not because they are good nurses but because they are so stupid and they are over 30, gosh grow up, you're a freaking mom. They are obese, wear super tight scrubs you can see their Cellulite a mile a way, They look trashy, 1000 stains on their scrubs etc. These are the ones that are not shy and they should be, and they are terrible nurses.

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The only people not allowed to be nurses are convicted felons. Personality traits do not forbid people from entering nursing. Tell your instructor to kiss your rear end. When you finally graduate from nursing school and get licensed, mail a copy of your license or hand it to her.

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Wow, you sound just like me. I am a new grad nurse and I just had my Nurse Manager tell me that she's "concerned" because I'm "too quiet" and she's worried that I don't feel passionate about nursing. I calmly explained to her that I'm just introverted and I may come across as being uninterested because I'm not as animated as some of the other nurses, but that doesn't mean that I'm not just as passionate about what I do. I actually love my job and I was really hurt and offended that she questioned me like that. She responded by saying that "this is not an introverted business" and this is your "identified weakness that you need to work on." My jaw nearly hit the floor at how closed-minded such a well-educated person could be. Being introverted is NOT a weakness for crying out loud!! We get the same results in different ways. There is absolutely nothing wrong with that. You can be a great nurse, but you have to be prepared to educate people along the way.

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Specializes in Critical Care.

Don't let her opinion get you down! It's only her opinion. Importantly she said you would pass the clinical and you have more to go and most likely different instructors. She may have felt protective of you to warn you that you have to have tough skin to be a nurse because not everyone is kind. You will run up against mean staff and cliques and even patients from time to time, but such is life and that can happen in any job.

Not everyone is bubbly, life of the party. I'm shy, less so now after being a nurse all these years. But I think part of the reason I was harassed so in the beginning was my shyness, wearing my heart on my sleave, made me a target for a nasty bully and her clique. I had worked many other jobs before and got along ok with others, occasionally someone didn't like me but it never affected me.

Then when I became an RN, shy, scared, trying to prove myself, this nasty bully and her clique really tried to do me in. It was living hell for me at the time, mostly because I had no way to fight back as you can't take the gloves off at work and your outnumbered. I had to get thru it and in the end the bully lost her job and the clique dispersed and I survived stronger for it. But I wouldn't wish what I went thru even on my worst enemy! I could have quit and that would have been the easy way out, but the stubborn side of me was not going to let that ***** run me out of town. Happiness is the best revenge! I was there to see her undoing and that what goes around comes around!

So I wouldn't take your instructors comments to heart! Just keep plugging along and you will be ok!

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Specializes in ER.

Meh... She was probably just giving you a hard time. You'll learn that if you dont have a sense of humor, sick and twisted or not, you wont make it out sane! Lol! Just brush it off... The quiet ones are always easy targets because she thinks you wont have any bite back at her :) Good luck! Have fun!

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I'm shy and quiet too and I been a nurse for four and half years. I feel comfy talking one on one but not to a group of people. Since when did being shy become bad? Shy people are good listeners. Also ...a lot of shy people are pretty smart. Not all but most.

It's obvious she has some sort of issues against shy people. You will be just fine.

In fact if I were you I would tell her you want to be just like her. Start flattering her n see her reaction.

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Specializes in CriticalCare.

I must say that I am absolutely FLOORED as to the number of shy nurses--nothing wrong with that whatsoever, but still flabergasted.

It seems to me human resources are in charge of hires nowadays--and it seems they feel that gregarious, outgoing, extroverted nurses are the kinds of ppl that should be hired.

Nowadays, some hospital employers give psychometric testing as part of the application process--originally instituted for 'business' type jobs (as if we need to be sales ppl).........it seems to have spilt over to our industry now.

keep this in mind moving forward with ur career--no change necessarily other than understanding this idea and observing their behaviour (management, etc) and giving them 'what they need' when u must in order to avoid this situation.

take it as a lesson to grow from--this extrovert needed a different salad dressing--observe this ppl and consider it when necessary--just think of it as looking out for ur future in a comprehensive manner.

Now, if u DO want to change a bit, i have no idea how to go about it.

change on this level is no easy process, and repeated video course watching may provide the highest success to change dressings to suit the purpose.

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Are shy and quiet people not allowed to be nurses?
This questions smacks of underconfidence. What do you mean "not allowed"???

Do you really think there is some kind of screening group that decides whether you're "allowed" to be a nurse based on whether you're shy or outgoing?

To many patients, lack of confidence=lack of competence. People want to know not only that the person caring for them actually cares, but also that they know what the heck they are doing. If, by "shy and quiet", what you really mean is lacking in self confidence, then I think that's something you would be well advised to work on.

There is a difference between being introverted and lacking confidence, just as there is a difference between being confident and being cocky.

So, is your instructor really talking about being introverted, or is she noticing a lack of self confidence that shows when interacting with patients?

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Yes, SHY people as well as SHORT people are NOT ALLOWED to be nurses!!

Just kidding!! I'm both and I do just fine, thank you.

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I was horribly quiet in nursing school. My instructor (fundamentals) would physically push me into a room and tell me "You have to talk to them".....I was so insecure and that was the bottom line. Once I got some practice and confidence in what I was doing, it got a LOT better. You don't have time to tiptoe around when you're asking a patient for their history or doing assessments.

It gets better. I find the instructor's comments to be inappropriate. They don't know where you'll be by the end of school. :up:

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Please don't listen to her! I was so shy in my teens and college years that I would be sick before going into a social situation, never talked to anybody at school...practically stopped breathing and speaking during a school presentation.

And I'm still shy and quiet, but guess what? When I have a situation in which I need to speak up for my patient, I forget all about being shy!! It might not be easy the first time you do it, but it becomes more natural with every shift. And I love talking to my patients-you sound like you are a good listener who will pay attention to your patients' needs.

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