Are shy and quiet people not allowed to be nurses?

Nurses Relations

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I am a nursing student and wanted to get feedback from nurses. I've always been shy and quiet, but once I'm comfortable I will open up. I'm better talking to a person when it's 1 to 1. I am almost finished my with 3rd clinical. I have 4 more clinicals left. The clinical instructor I have right now told me I would never be a good nurse because I am so shy and quiet. She tells me I will pass for her clinical since we only have 3 more days left, but she said she doesn't think I will make it out there. I told her it is true that I am quiet, but I always talk to the patients I have and I am more attentive because I do listen more. I told her I believe otherwise, but she didn't agree with me. Other instructors have told me I would be a great nurse and I'm doing great in my courses, getting a B+ or better while working full-time. I was unable to sleep at night after coming home yesterday about what she said. I'm doubting myself now and I don't know what to do..

I'm in a similar situation...I just finished my first clinical rotation and I'm nearing the end of my second semester of nursing school. I've also always been a quiet and shy person, but like you once I'm comfortable I'll open up, and I have no problem with 1 on 1 conversations. My clinical insturctor told me that I needed to be more "assertive," without any other real input, even when I asked her directly what I could improve on...instead she chose to go behind my back informed my class instructor that I was being too quiet and shy in our post clinical "meetings," and didn't go to any other nurses other than the one I was assigned to for the day for opportunities to practice skills (something I didn't even know we were allowed to do).

The class instructor asked me to meet with her about my exam scores - when I went in she also suprised me with all kinds of statments questioning why I was in nursing school, etc. She then told me that they were submitting a "letter of concern" for being quiet, which will be recieved by all of the instructors I have next semester. I was really caught off guard since my clinical instructor hadn't told me anything that she had told my class instructor and it really makes me feel like I'm being punished for my personality and that I don't belong in nursing school. I can't just flip a switch and become a totally different person. And the fact that nobody was honest with me is hard to deal with. So you definitely aren't the only one feeling like they don't want quiet and shy people to be nurses. I'm going to try and be more assertive, but I'm also not going to change who I am to fit what they want...I don't think there is anything wrong with being quiet and a nurse.

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Specializes in ED/ICU/TELEMETRY/LTC.

You will be fine. There have to be some nurses to compensate for people like me.

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Specializes in hospice, HH, LTC, ER,OR.

me...shy +quiet= nurse!.. do not listen to that woman!

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Just remember it takes all kinds to make a world. I am sure you will bring something great to nursing if your heart is in it for the right reasons.

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I wouldn't give her a second thought. My dad was a nurse for 25+ years before retiring and he's the quietest person I know. His evaluations were great and he was a good nurse. He took care of the patients he had, talked to them when necessary, but didn't find the need to be talkative when it wasn't needed. Sometimes people who are quite are better off because instead of being immersed in their own thoughts and what they're going to say next, they listen more to what others say and are able to pick up on nonverbal cues better.

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Specializes in Government.

Really, who wants a blabby nurse? You'll be fine.

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Another quiet and shy nurse standing up here. :D

I did have to learn to be assertive in my role as patient advocate. There can be some overbearing people in any profession that make it hard to speak up.

But I would not recommend that you give up.

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Well for heaven's sake, how ridiculous! I'm shy and quiet too and I've been a nurse for 25 years or so.

At work, I have no trouble making difficult phone calls, I love the 'difficult' patients (because I like turning them around, and actually I think that sometimes a nurse with a quieter type personality does better with these patients), I don't have any trouble delegating, speaking with superiors, raising concerns, pointing out issues, dealing with other departments, getting along with loud co-workers, getting along with quiet co-workers, and the list goes on.

Outside of work it's different. I'm not the life and soul of the party and you'll never see me dancing on a table.

Shy people can take criticism to heart too much, so perhaps think about what was said in case there's any truth in it. If there is, work on that. If there isn't, forget about it. Easier said than done but you'll get there.

Things were very different back when I first started nursing, we were constantly told we weren't up to scratch, this wasn't done correctly, that was wrong, and 'you'll never make a nurse'. I wouldn't want to go back to that but I do think that the pendulum has swung too far and these days people get far too upset if their instructor or their manager gives anything other than glowing praise.

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Specializes in BH.

I had a classmate that was the most shy, timid person I know and now he works in a large hospital where he is doing just fine being himself. One of our teachers told him the same thing, but he hasn't had any problems being a nurse, he's been one for almost 3 years. I'm also a shy person, not as much as he was, but I know how you feel. As long as you keep maintaining in your grades, clinicals, you will do just fine. I feel for you and don't let other people bring you down like that. Some nurses will try to belittle you because your personality isn't as strong as theirs, but just let them do their thing and you do yours. I'm sure your going to be a great nurse no matter if your shy and quiet. Me and my classmate are proof that you will do just fine! ;)

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You will be fine. There have to be some nurses to compensate for people like me.

Hahahahaha too funny! Love it :D

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Specializes in Med Surg - Renal.

The very first day of my nursing program, we were asked to learn something about the person sitting next to us, then stand up and introduce them to the class.

One of my classmates was so shy, she could not do it. She stood up, she opened her mouth, but she could not make any sound come out. She was finally able to whisper a few things, but no one heard her. She was mortified.

She spent a lot of time working at it, improved her communications skills, and graduated with us. She now works at the same hospital I do on a different med surg floor.

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Specializes in ICU.

Don't listen to her. What you can take from her comments is to try to be a bit more outspoken in future clinicals just so someone doesn't say anything again. But I am the same as you. I used to be much much more shy than I am now. Some time being a nurse with confused, batty people changed that. As long as you do your job, who cares if your not a loudmouth? Did she specifically say why your being shy was a detriment? I would be curious to know and if she can back up her statement with solid reasoning why it would not make you a good nurse. Maybe she's concerned you don't ask enough questions? Thats the only thing I can think that would make sense.

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