So... I just turned 33. My husband and I were hoping to be done having babies by 35.
We currently have a 13 year old daughter and a two year old son. We would both very much like another baby before we are too old.
Our son is watched by my best friend while I am in school. We pay her. She is an amazing 'Auntie' and is fully willing to take on a brand new baby to care for while I am in school. She has a two year old as well as a three month old and is planning two more children in the next few years.
My questions is... is it ridiculous of me to consider adding to our family while in nursing school? Is there anyone out there with experience having babies while in the program? I want to get my RN, I don't want to take a year off... Tell me your thoughts.
I could literally copy and paste everything you just wrote to me and reply to you. And it will all apply to you too then.
No, you literally couldn't do that because I'm not telling anyone not to respond to me. It wouldn't make any sense. Adults tend to avoid the "I'm rubber, you're glue..." nonsense. But thank you for your response, it was very thoughtful.
OP: I would recommend doing whatever feels right. If you feel you can handle nursing school and a newborn, then go for it. But also make sure you're not having a baby just to have a baby. Sometimes parents can miss having their kids in the baby stage and they mistake that for wanting another. But it's one of those things that only you can know and only you and your husband can decide what's right.
Actually you might want to re-read the Terms of service here, as you are really walking the line with your angry, insulting posts. This site is not here to serve as platform for personal attacks on a poster who is asking about starting a family all the while she must establish her career.
She asked for an opinion and I wrote mine. Feel free to report me to the admins if you feel that way. I'm don't think I was insulting anyone. What I think is that opinion is just an unpopular one. I don't sugar coat things. So forgive me for being blunt. I'm sick and tired of political correctness and people getting their feelings hurt.
If you are blunt and "don't sugar coat things", you have to go into the situation knowing that your comments may be met with opposing sides that are just as direct and blunt. You can't wave a sword and then be upset when someone takes on the fight. Nor can you condemn them through snarky comments for exercising the same " free speech" you do. I'm tired of political correctness too, however I'm more tired of people blaming "political correctness" and using it as a scapegoat when they are called to the table for being rude or insulting. When others didn't agree with you, you turned to snark. How is that different than what you are tired of?
This is a very volatile subject. I used to feel very strongly about staying home with young children. I, myself, gave birth at home, breastfed well into toddlerhood, was very committed to bonding.
I had mixed outcomes. I have 6 grown children. 2 of my adult sons are extremely distance.
There are many, many variables in life. The world has always had pitfalls, even for humans who didn't go to daycare, suckled at the breast, were told bedtime stories every night. There is no magical formula to avoid heartbreak and tragedy.
I'm starting an accelerated 22 month program at Hopkins with a 2.5 year old in January. I think it's a challenge enough by itself as a single person, more so when there's a child and partner to consider and adding a new baby to the mix can only heighten all of that.
Perhaps it's wiser to focus on education, get that under your belt and think of having a baby after graduating?
She asked for an opinion and I wrote mine. Feel free to report me to the admins if you feel that way. I'm don't think I was insulting anyone. What I think is that opinion is just an unpopular one. I don't sugar coat things. So forgive me for being blunt. I'm sick and tired of political correctness and people getting their feelings hurt.
Calling every woman who has had to utilize day care "selfish," predicting doom for their children, then holding yourself up as the standard for great mothering IS insulting.
There is no concept of "free speech" on this web site. There are rules about posting, WHICH YOU SIGNED when you established your screen name. Your post was arrogant, self aggrandizing, rude, and unnecessary. The "mommy wars" are pointless, tiresome, and depend on stereotyping of the various principals and making broad and often untrue generalizations. It's great that you are the epitome of the perfect mother because you made the "only" responsible choices. Not everyone has those choices available to them, they are not appropriate to every situation, and your problems with your own mother are irrelevant to most of the mothers and fathers who utilize this web site because neither the OP nor the others posting have presented a scenario in which she will have only two hours a day to spend with her children in order to provide lots of unnecessary luxuries.
I'm going to write this before I read what other people wrote. Myself and 2 of my classmates got into nursing school and also found ourselves pregnant at the same time. My husband and I had fertility issues and had given up so it was a shock and not exactly planned for me. It was extremely difficult because my son was born October 1st. Right smack in the middle of class. I missed one lecture. I made up my missed clinical hours later in the semester by attending both clinical classes. It was really tough. Being pregnant through school was tough. Focusing was tough. Leaving a 1 week old after having a csection was crazy tough. But I had a great support system. I wouldn't recommend it but it is doable. My 2 classmates and I all got through it, we all maintrained As. We all graduated on time, passed boards and have jobs. But I think they would also agree that having a baby made an already hard program significantly harder. I think the fact that we had each other and a great support system in the program and our personal lives helped a lot. I don't think all programs are nearlying as accommodating.
And for what it's worth OP I did spend a lot of time with both kids while in nursing school. I don't feel like I missed out on the newborn phase, even though it was hard to leave to go to class and clinical.
Specializes in Psychiatry, Community, Nurse Manager, hospice.
I think you should let go of the notion that you should have all your babies by 35. 36 and 37 are not that different than 35.
I recommend you go to nursing school first, graduate, work for a year then have a baby.
Alternatively, have the baby first, wait a year or two, then go to nursing school.
I think doing them together will take away from both experiences, because they are both intense and will be competing for your attention. So I don't recommend it, but I think whatever decision you make is fine.
Nursing school will always be there. On the other hand, you won't stop aging. Have your baby, spend time with him or her and then go back to school. Good luck!! :)
I'm not a regular poster, but I thought I'd chime in here. I have an almost 3 year old and a 6 month old, and I am 2 months into an evening/weekend program. I work about 6 shifts a month as a PCA (I cut back from full time when school started). It's challenging so far, but not impossible. I study during nap time and after bedtime, and just bring notes with me everywhere. Money is very tight right now, but it's ok because I see the light at the end of the tunnel, in 2 years. That's the thing...you can do anything if you can see the "out."
I am 33, my husband is 40. We are waiting to have children until after nursing school (December 17 is the day we get to start trying ha!.) I can't imagine going through everything while pregnant or with a newborn and don't think I would have graduated on time if I did.
That being said, there were quite a few people in my cohort that did get pregnant (some planned, some not), or that had babies. Some had to take a semester off (we are allowed 1 semester off in my program), some never returned, some didn't take any time off and are graduating on time.
It's all going to depend on your support system, your abilities, and your other responsibilities.
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selectallthatapply
29 Posts
No, you literally couldn't do that because I'm not telling anyone not to respond to me. It wouldn't make any sense. Adults tend to avoid the "I'm rubber, you're glue..." nonsense. But thank you for your response, it was very thoughtful.
OP: I would recommend doing whatever feels right. If you feel you can handle nursing school and a newborn, then go for it. But also make sure you're not having a baby just to have a baby. Sometimes parents can miss having their kids in the baby stage and they mistake that for wanting another. But it's one of those things that only you can know and only you and your husband can decide what's right.