Apologies for using the term "NETY"

Perisoreus · Sep 27, 2015

You had no way of knowing the phrase has quite a bit of, shall we say "emotional baggage" around here. But your gracious response to all of this makes me hope you stay around here.

Thank you, and thank you for your patience.

allnurses Guide · Sep 27, 2015

Oh thank you for that. You put your finger on it exactly.
And the only one I can think of who bullied me when I was a new nurse was another young nurse who was only sightly less new than I.
All of the COBs at that time taught me an immense amount and I am forever grateful to them.

When I first started, I was taught by a combination of nurses. The older nurses who had helped start our hospital and who basically ran the hospital back then. Loved the stories about delivering of babies and ER stories when the docs were not around. This was a long time ago folks.

And then the nurses who were my age but had been nurses for awhile (I was 40 and nursing was a second career for me).

The only nurse who was a true bully was about my age, had been a nurse for a year or two, and was just a mean-spirited woman. She would have been a bully in whatever job she chose. I'd seen her throw chairs, yell at staff at the nurse's station, and she was not a good nurse. Fortunately, she didn't last long.

I've had my issues with co-workers but nothing that rose to the idea that any nurse would eat another nurse for dinner. Just the usual stuff when people are hungry or tired or stressed.

So yeah, don't fall for the "nurses are bullies". Most of us are not.

MrChicagoRN, RN · Sep 28, 2015

Hopefully nursing is in the midst of a cultural revolution, where we nurture our youngsters as opposed to eating them (after all more meat on them if you fatten them up first ...har har).
That being said I think this is a topic of shame, sort of like slavery in America, it is something you have to own because it is part of your past, but it is something you wish wasn't there. Makes discussion of the topic sort of touchy...

Sorry, NETY, bullying, lateral violence, etc does not compare at all to owning human beings and who could be sold at will to another slave owner irregardless of the heartless splitting up of slave's family

BuckyBadgerRN, ASN, RN · Sep 28, 2015

Very classy of you to apologize! Spread the word to others who use this phrase knowing nothing about it...

I posted recently using this term. I want to apologize for using it without knowing what it really means to you. I am (relatively) new to nursing - I have mostly worked as a scientist. Clearly it's not a nice thing to say, and I am sorry for titling my post with those words.
Best to you.

Awesomocity0 · Sep 28, 2015

I had to go back and look at your thread to see why you're apologizing OP, but I see how you used it incorrectly. It's using it incorrectly and the assumption that lies behind using it at all that's the issue. 'Nurses eat their young' is just a grouping of four words that are meaningless until you throw them into a context. I think a lot of people have already astutely pointed out that the issue is the implicit 'all' before the word 'nurses,' when it could be replaced with 'some' OR the nurses with 'some professionals.'

I've definitely seen nurses eat their young. I don't see it often, but I have seen it, and sometimes it has been invalidly and irrationally. My first job out of nursing school was in mental health, and I actively watched an LVN try to destroy an RN, repeatedly saying things like, "just because she's an RN doesn't mean I have to work under her. I have more experience. I'll show her." It was ugly and uncalled for and as a brand new nurse, I had no earthly idea how to handle it, so I stayed out of it. Her complaints were never specific about the RN, just what she felt was an injustice and that she would bully the RN because of it.

In a hospital environment, I've never experienced it or seen it. When my preceptors reamed me, it was totally deserved. It sometimes came off as harsh, but it wasn't. It was just blunt and factual, because sometimes, you have to be blunt and factual to stop someone from being unsafe.

I will say though that I HAVE seen some docs eat their young. The amount of bullying I saw in a teaching hospital from SOME (note the word some) attendings to their fellows and residents is so much more tremendous than anything I could have ever imagined. And no, it didn't involve 'safety' or 'teaching.' But again, that's not the norm.

And yes, I also heard the phrase NETY in nursing school A LOT. I think everything just looks and feels worse when you're new and your self-esteem is fragile. Sometimes you just need some space and experience to realize that the 'bullying' isn't actually bullying but constructive criticism to help you.

BuckyBadgerRN, ASN, RN · Sep 28, 2015

And now I've read the thread that prompted this thread. Yeah, you stepped in it big time over there.

Ruby Vee, BSN · Sep 28, 2015

Hopefully nursing is in the midst of a cultural revolution, where we nurture our youngsters as opposed to eating them (after all more meat on them if you fatten them up first ...har har). That being said I think this is a topic of shame, sort of like slavery in America, it is something you have to own because it is part of your past, but it is something you wish wasn't there. Makes discussion of the topic sort of touchy.
I remember first year of nursing school had this professor teaching Interpersonal Communication 101, tell a student that she was WRONG, for her suggested solution to a conflict, because that wasn't what the textbook said. I jumped all over the professor, saying that communication is all about shades of gray, not about wrong and right (black and white), who knew the old bat would give me an A in that class?
Cheers
PS - Hopefully people who jumped on you for using the phrase didn't make you feel like you were being eaten ... NETYOTI? (nurses eat their young on the internet?) ROFLMAO

The "old bat"? Really? Nurses eat their OLD.

Jensmom7, BSN, RN · Sep 28, 2015

Ok, I'm going to go a little "Roadhouse" here and paraphrase the Swayzenator:

Nurses Eat Their Young is just 4 words combined to elicit a particular response.

It's a stupid phrase, and certainly not worthy of the time and attention it receives here.

If you allow yourself to respond the way anyone who says this expects you to, then they won.

Tex. · Sep 29, 2015

I one e day aspire to go from Floor Nurse to Crusty Old Bat that proudly and openly practices the delicate artform of NETY - crushing the dreams of special little snowflakes.
Someone please read my sarcasm and just take a joke. =)

I love AN, but this can be a tough crowd. The quoted post here provides all the key search words for you to get acclimated in record time. Welcome, and good luck!

Perisoreus · Sep 29, 2015

I love AN, but this can be a tough crowd. The quoted post here provides all the key search words for you to get acclimated in record time. Welcome, and good luck!

Thank you! I wish I hadn't jumped in before reading more, but I did, so here we are. I will be reading.

dealwithit · Sep 29, 2015

I'm sorry. You're apologizing for saying nurses eat their young??

what the hell. You can find it offensive or out of date all you want, but it's true nontheless.

Senior nurses regularly feel threatened or put-off by younger, more energetic nurses and, therefore, bully them. It happens all the time and should not be regarded as a phrase that should be apologized for. It should be addressed.

Ruby Vee, BSN · Sep 29, 2015

I'm sorry. You're apologizing for saying nurses eat their young??
what the hell. You can find it offensive or out of date all you want, but it's true nontheless.
Senior nurses regularly feel threatened or put-off by younger, more energetic nurses and, therefore, bully them. It happens all the time and should not be regarded as a phrase that should be apologized for. It should be addressed.

And you know this how?

Senior nurses rarely feel threatened or put-off by younger nurses (who may or may not be more energetic) and don't actually bully them. It happens no more often in nursing than it does in the world at large. If you want to tell me that senior nurses are put off by YOU because you're so much younger and more energetic than them, I'd tell you to look a little deeper.

"Nurses eat their young" seems to be a phrase that is thrown around indiscriminately because it's easier to blame "NETY" for your failings at work than to admit that the negative feedback you've been recieving is actually warranted and you need to do something to change that. It seems to be more common, actually, that younger nurses seem to try to chomp on the old.

The phrase has been addressed; it should be apologized for.