anyone else?

moonchildLPN82 · Mar 15, 2010

I don't like it when older men call me "young lady". It's annoying and I know I'm younger than they are but I'm also not 12 either, so I understand where you're coming from, but there's probably not a whole lot you can do about it.

Johnnyonthespot · Mar 15, 2010

ok uptight might be a good word. You have a boyfriend? really? for some serious input, i was raised a gentleman, guys are loose like that and it can be offensive, but its not going to change. Thats really a guys way of saying "you are a pleasant person to be around and I enjoy your company." Men are also said to be pigs. The human race can be a disgusting thing. Where do you find time to care?

delgadojbc · Mar 15, 2010

I get your annoyance but big picture, let it go. Most old folks aren't going to change 60 years of habit for you. I'm sure its not intentional, just chill unless they get totally dismissive, then assert yourself. You have to shake that stuff off. I've had elderly people make disparaging remarks to me about other staff members due to their race and its OBVIOUS I'm the same race!! They don't even think twice about it....ignorance is contagious, so prevention is key.

southern rn · Mar 15, 2010

I find it mildly annoying but after being called much worse a few times I find sweetie etc. much easier to live with.

TopazLover, BSN, RN · Mar 15, 2010

I usually take my son's advice. "You can't stop the bird from flying into your hair, but you don't have to let it build a nest."

If it is someone who can reason you can always accept the compliment with something like " Thank you for thinking I am young. Actually I thought all those years of college and study would have given me more gray hair. While we walk I'll tell you about some of my professors." Or some such blather to communicate your knowledge and experience. Don't knock the compliments, some days we all need them.

diane227, LPN, RN · Mar 15, 2010

I WISH someone would call me young lady. Some of my 90 year old patients still do. Being from the south I am more used to this type of thing because in the south we are always calling someone "sweetie", "honey", "little lady" etc. Living up here in Seattle now, people get mad when I call them Ma'am or Sir (I am 55 years old but I was taught this was a sign of resepct for those older that you). I grew up with "yes Ma'am and no Ma'am etc and most of my peers did also. It was just part of life. And we were used to those sweet southern nicknames that everyone was called, especially when you could not remember their name. "Sweetie" and "honey" were always a big help during those situations.

NurseAdida · Mar 15, 2010

Yeah...I think you are a little uptight. "Pretty" is a genuine compliment. But it depends on how it was said though. If the patient had that naughty or sexual look I'd be concerned because this is sexual harassment. From what you wrote up there, this was a sincere compliment.

Am more concerened about verbally abusive, difficult patients or patients that try to make passes at you (sexual harassment).

I don't think when a patient says you are pretty it means he is degrading your profession except ofcourse if he says it with ulterior motives. But if you don't like it then use therapeutic communication to divert him from giving you such compliments. For example when he says he'll do it to walk with the pretty girl(paraphrasing)... with a serious but calm face, tell him "am here to walk you on the hallway because I need to improve the circulation in your feet and to improve your muscle strength". Keep it nice but professional.

Fngrpntsnotasin · Mar 15, 2010

Very true Diane. Its more of a southern thing throwing those kind of endearments around and not thinking twice. Thats probably why it doesn't bother me when I hear all day "hey honey", "Sweetie" or my favorite "Little Bit". Actually I would have to be called some pretty bad names to be offended ( and i've been called some pretty bad things!) We do have a resident though who gets really confused sometimes and will proposition a staff member or resident In a sexually inaproprate way...We have to tell him that his behavior is uncalled for and remind him where he is. That kind of stuff I would NOT ignore.

itsmejuli · Mar 15, 2010

A lot of my patients are older people and the older men always need to make "sweet" or "cute" little remarks like "of course I'll take a walk with a pretty girl asking me," etc.

Yeah, you're definitely being uptight.

If you think an old guy calling you "sweet" is bad, wait til you experience sexual harassment by a co-worker. You'll be grateful for the old guy's harmless compliments.

loriangel14, RN · Mar 15, 2010

I have had remarks like that from patients before. I just laugh and say " hey,you think I'm pretty, you're eye sight must be worse than I realized!" and carry on. Really, unless a patient is being sexually inappropriate a little kidding around doesn't hurt. I had one fella on my unit for a while that would greet me with "hello sunshine!" Made my day.

mamamerlee, LPN · Mar 15, 2010

Unless you feel they are coming on to you, let it pass with a laugh. Or say something like, 'So if I were six foot four would you still take a walk with me?'

You are truly making a fuss where there's no need, these people are trying to be cheerful, usually. Now if one of them pats you on the rear, or makes a remark with more sexual overtones, you've got another story.

I have certainly said to a reluctant older man - 'when was the last time a pretty woman wanted to go for a walk with you?' And I am no great beauty! They will usually talk about their wife or daughter.

Simple pleasant conversational remarks should be addressed as such. Or, if you really feel the need, say something like - 'Hey it took me xxx years in nursing school to learn how to do this!' Cost about half a million bucks to get that schooling!

Lighten up a bit, sometimes we can be a little light-hearted.