Any single parents going thru nursing school?

whatchamacallits · Mar 26, 2009

About a year after I started my prereques my husband left my child and I. He was abusive and not supportive of me (he wanted me to make a nurses salary of course, he just told me I was stupid and could never make it happen--twisted really). So for me, it's so much less stressful with him gone.

I'm not in my second semester of an ADN program and while it's hard--I won't lie--its doable. I study every spare moment I have and rarely get more than five hours of sleep but it will be worth it in the end. Text books accompany me to swimming lessons, I take flashcards with me to basketball games and go through them when she isn't on the court, and we do things like go to the park or an indoor play place where I study while she plays. It can be done, but there is a lot of mommy guilt. Are your kids school aged? I usually study at the kitchen table while she's doing her homework. That way she can ask for help if needed and I'm still getting some study time in.

My only advice to you is to find a good lawyer as quickly as you can. You said you are "making him pay" but is it ordered or something you have worked out just between the two of you? We originally had an agreement between us when he left but he stopped paying after a while and I was then able to get a motion for temporary relief which not only gave me temporary custody but ordered him to pay child support and alimony directly from his check. We're still sorting everything else out in court but the temporary order made it possible for me to be able to not work and focus soley on my schooling. I know some do work while in nursing school but physically and mentally I cannot handle working, going to school full time and being a single parent (my program is not set up for part time students).

Do you have any family to help you with child care?

BellasMommyOBRN · Mar 26, 2009

i'm a single mom who will be going through nursing school. i am having to move back in with family, during that process. do you have any family near you to help you out?

i thank the lord everyday for my loving family :) i know i am very lucky!

good luck!

osc9904 · Mar 26, 2009

I dont have any family in the area. I do have very good friends in the area though that are willing to help me out.

I have thought about moving to where my family is, but they are in California and Im in PA.

I have gone to a lawyer but unfortunetly I will not get enough money out of him to live off of with two kids. Hes in the Navy and dosent make that much. So Im trying to be nice to him so we can work something out in the mean time between the two of us. I figured I would try that until he tries to stop paying or take money away.

My boys are young. 4 1/2 years and 7 months. Im trying to figure out childcare, right now that is my biggest worry. Its all a shock to me right now so Im still trying to figure everything out. Any advice would be greatly appreciated!

Thank you very much for your replies. Its good to hear that there is others out there that are going thru the same thing.

Nepenthe Sea · Mar 26, 2009

I left my husband 18 months ago. He was cheating on me with a family friend, AND allegedly got another woman pregnant about the same time I got pregnant (good times!). I have three-year old twin daughters. I do live with my mom so I at least don't pay rent and bills. My family members are not able to help me with childcare much, though.

I am in my first semester of NS, and we don't do clinicals in this one, so I am sure next semester will be much harder. It is hard, and I wish I would have finished school BEFORE I had kids! Oh well.

I am able to study by not working when I am in school. I only get $200 per month in child support, so I have financial aid and am taking out loans. I will be in debt when I get out, but it will be worth it. I am less stressed, and get to spend more time with my kids. I mostly study during the day while they are at day care, after and between classes. I also study at night after they go to bed (if I am able to get them to sleep before 11:00 PM!!). I study on weekends, of course, and any time that their dad has them. He's actually really cool about taking them when he knows I have a whole lot of tests coming up. If I have something like lab practice that I need to do without the kids, my dad will watch them for a few hours. He's in bad health, though, so it's hard to depend on him.

I am getting additional support through a student support service at my school - they really like helping single moms. I will be eligible for additional money through them after this semester. I am also going to look into the Workforce Investment Act (WIA), because I hear that will pay for alot of things (scrubs, equipment, books, etc.). My childcare is mostly paid for by a government program through the unemployment office here. If you go to school and/or work, they help pay for childcare, so that helps a ton. There are resources out there that kind of help ease a single parent's burden somewhat.

My biggest challenge right now is that when my kids get a nap at day care, they won't go to sleep at night until after 9:00 at the earliest. By the time I get them to sleep so I can study, I am often too tired to do what I need to do!

The way that I look at this is that it is hard, but if I wasn't going to school, I would be working like three jobs so I could pay rent and support my kids. This will be crazy for a little while, and then hopefully I can get a job that pays better than min. wage, which is all I have ever been able to get.

Fifth&Fabo · Mar 28, 2009

I am a single mom with 3 kids. I work full time, but share custody with their father. This means, we swap every other week. He has his Masters (yep...I was there to pay for and support that!) and is a CPA, so I've earned my "right" to go back to school. My MEGA concern is that when I get into NS, it's an all day program. How in the world do you doing NS all day, and afford to live? I make far more than minimum wage, but paying for 3 kids with ZERO child support and their ballet, cheerleading, baseball and after school care leaves me counting every penny every month-still!!! Do any of you work at night? I also go to a school that only accepts Grants and Scholarships. Where do you apply for laons for NS other than FAFSA? Any hints would be greatly appreciated!!! And kudos to all of you, single parents or not. This is a great thing you are doing, and no matter how hard the road is getting there....I believe the pot of gold waiting at the end will be soooooooo worth it!!! :)

caliotter3 · Mar 28, 2009

I was raising my daughter alone when I was in nursing school. She was a teen at the time and did everything possible when it came to distracting me from school. I had my hands full.

shann106 · Mar 28, 2009

I am a single mom, working full time, in nursing school full time.

It is hard, very hard but it can be done.

On Mondays and Wednesdays I have clincials, Tuesday and Thursday I am in class until 8pm (my dad picks up my daughter after school until I get home) and then I work 12 hour shifts on Friday, Saturday and Sunday. I study between classes, every night until midnight, between patients at work, and every single second that I can.

I put post it notes around my make-up mirror and on kitchen cabniets so I can study while I get ready and while I cook. If at all possible when a class is over, I stay in my seat and make flashcards over that lecture, that way I review the material while it is fresh in my mind and I stay current on my flashcards.

The hardest part I think is trying to get all the reading done, my daughter cannot seem to go 15 minutes without interrupting me, and I have a hard time retaining what I am reading when I get constantly interrupted.

morningmom · Apr 10, 2009

I'm on the single parent train. I have a 3 year old who absolutely hates when I put on my scrubs for school.

I ended up moving back in with my parents. I study as I can with many interruptions. My mom is on one side of the house usually, and Im on the other, with the play room(which was the dining room) and the bathroom between the two rooms...so she can be seen at all times. I take care of my daughters needs, but my mom will keep an eye on her when she is on her side of the house, to make sure she isnt into anything she shouldn't be.

It is tough, I will not lie....but I keep telling myself that only 8 more months and our lives will be soooooooooooo much better. In the meantime I can not tell you how many days I have gone to school no sleep from studying, which isnt good...but you gotta find the time whenever you can.

FWIW...my daughter goes to daycare during the day when I have school, and if I have an evening class or clinical then my mom will watch her. For those single mom's that have little or no financial support, check with your department of family services (welfare)..here in my state they will financially help with daycare when you are in school/work. I pay $9.00 a month for daycare, and I got to pick her daycare which is a very good daycare in a very good area, so I don't have to worry about her safety.

msdeannah · Apr 11, 2009

I am a single parent of a 3 year old. I am in the process of getting an order for support, but that is difficult since he quit his job and refusing to find work. I just found out yesterday I got into my #1 choice for nursing school and now I'm wondering how I'm going to get this done. I've save 1 year of rent but daycare, car payments ect..... I just don't know but I'll sure try.

Agrippa · Apr 11, 2009

I see a lot of single moms (young and older) in my classes and I have the utmost respect for them. I really believe that women are were the strength of our species resides - not much is stronger than a mother's love for her children. I don't know what would make it easier, but I imagine a strong support network would be crucial. Gluck.

nursevai · May 27, 2009

I am the mother of a nine month old and I will be starting nursing school in January (hopefully)....currently I am working and have my own house and car, but am going to be transitioning to move back in with my parents. (nightmare) This is really going to drive me crazy, but I know it is something that must be done as I am going to need as much help as possible! How was the transition? And how did your parents feel about you moving back home?