Anorexia and the RN

Are there any RN's or even student nurses out there taht are or have had Anorexia or Bulimia? Do you still have it? I do have anorexia and no one knows about it. They thought I was better but when I gained all the weight back I got depressed again and I am so tempted to do it again. It never really left me. I may be an idiot but I do not think I am ready to give it up yet. I KNOW how bad it is and how deadly but it is a psychological thing I guess. I love the control it gives me in a chaotic world and I do so desperately need to lose the weight I gained. Please talk to me. Support, advice, whatever you like. thanks.

[Tweety, BSN, RN]

You do not so desparately need to loose the weight you gained now do you?

You need profressional help and fast. A message board on the internet is not a good place to get that help. However, I'm sure there are people on the board that can relate.

Best wishes. :)

[Saved_by_Grace]

please remember that you are worth more than the toll this path will have on your body both physically and mentally. please find a support group or speak with your physician or a trusted family member or friend. if you need to vent please do, just take care of yourself!

[Energizer Bunny]

I am with Tweety on this one......get help IMMEDIATELY!!! I have suffered from both anorexia and bulimia and neither was pretty. I didn't even realize what I was doing when I was anorexic and now I have to force myself to eat some days because I have gained too much weight. I also have to keep laxatives away....no matter how much I am constipated I can never, ever take them or it triggers me.

I understand, and can empathize but if you have enough sense to post here, you have enough sense to go get help before you do anything you will regret. Please get some help NOW! (((((((((hugs))))))))))

[Kudra]

having seen what anorexia and bulimia has done to friends and aquaintances of mine, and all i can say is that the crux of nursing is to help others... and it's nearly impossible to help others fully when you are unable to help yourself... you simply do not have enough to give... by not dealing with something so threatening to your own health, you're setting yourself up for further physical and emotional harm...

i wish you the best of luck and think that professional help is definitely worth looking into...

beth

[kkbaroness]

please get yourself help no matter how much you think it will disrupt your current life. i was anorexic in my teens and it put my life on hold completely. it is also so dangerous for your heart and other body systems. i knnow you are aware of that too. i know... all you care about now is the control factor and how it makes you feel. channel your control to something else like studying or grades or improving your self esteem and loving yourself. please get help.

it will change your life in a good way.

[KibbsRNstudent]

please get yourself help no matter how much you think it will disrupt your current life. i was anorexic in my teens and it put my life on hold completely. it is also so dangerous for your heart and other body systems. i knnow you are aware of that too. i know... all you care about now is the control factor and how it makes you feel. channel your control to something else like studying or grades or improving your self esteem and loving yourself. please get help.

it will change your life in a good way.

thank you all for your words of wisdom. i am grateful. i am sorry if i had offended anyone posting to the message baords. i just thought it would be helpful to get advice from my peers, fellow nurses and students.

again. thank you.

[Saved_by_Grace]

I don't think that you offended anyone, we are just concerned about you. :)

[HyperRNRachel]

What can you do if you turn back to being anorexic? Think about it, what type of control will you gain from that life? If you think about it....you lose control. YOU LOSE control over what you can do, the endless possibilities that are available to you, you lose time to live. You lose by allowing an object to control who you are or who you can be. Why give in to the temptation of going back to that prison? I feel sorry for you and I feel angry at you for allowing yourself to be held in a prison. Think about this.....would you rather be someone who is in control of one element of your life or do you want to use the determination you have to keep pushing forward into a career that will give you a future? It's hard to take the bumps and lumps that this world has to offer, but life also provides happiness and joy if you give yourself permission to take part and enjoy it. I know you think you feel in control when you deprive yourself, but others see you as a scared child, afraid to explore your surroundings. If you really want control...stop the thought process that allows you to punish yourself and get some medical help. I hope you get some type of medical help. I wish I could offer more to you than this post.

You do not need to apologize for posting your original message, you have a problem and you needed opinions, I just wish we could help you more than to offer advice. Please get medical help. I wish you good luck and a happy destiny.

[Energizer Bunny]

Please let us know how you are doing periodically!!!! No need to apologize...you certainly didn't offend me.

[Audreyfay]

The family at allnurses cares about you and wants you to be well. Life isn't just about a person's size. We care about how you feel about you inside. What has happened recently that has made you feel this way? Seeing a counselor is the first step to help you find you again. Let us know how you are doing. :kiss

[KibbsRNstudent]

What can you do if you turn back to being anorexic? .

I am not sure taht you understand. *smiling sweetly* I do not feel like It is a choice always. It is something taht is always in the back of my mind whether I want to be "it" or not. I grew up with a mother who was always anorexic. To this day she still is. She is 5' 11" and all of 104 lbs. When I was 13 and 5'10" she made fun of me for becoming 100 lbs. I was devistated. It was a thinkg in our household that you do not go into the triple digits if you were a female. This is what I learned and was ingrained in my head. Of course I do not believe it to be true but it is something I struggle with everyday even when I do not want it in my life anymore. I worked with therapists but it did not work. It helped a little but not much. I now have no insurance and when I do get the med ins. taht I need for cliniclas, it is very minimal and does not cover much.

Thank you for being concerned. I posted here so taht i could get feedback about what others thought about this and if there are others like me amongst my peers taht could offer advice from experience. I figure other students or nurses are experienced in the health issues and stuff because this is our job and would know better what to say or do than someone else. I knwo the health risks but it is very hard to put it all out of my head. I hope you understand taht I want to be "normal" and this is why I ask for help from my peers. :):):) *truly thankful*