Specialties Ambulatory
Published Jul 22, 2003
laurasc
306 Posts
Okay, so this took the cake today and I tell this story here because I know that as fellow nurses no one will make a mess on their keyboards upon reading this. I thought I was going to die. I walked in the office nurses station this afternoon to find the nurse that works next door hopping around and gagging herself to death. Seems one of her patients handed her a specimine container FULL of a thick whitish substance floating in a clear not to thick fluid. Her boss wanted her to divide the it between two bottles. The poor nurse was seconds from losing her lunch so I took pity on her and volunteered to do it. (Yeah...I know....what was I thinking!!! )
I figured it I didn't think too much about it I would be fine. Carefully I poured the white goo into another bottle and the whole flippin' thing flopped in one big mass into the other bottle! I felt my stomach roll but with monumental effort I pushed the thought away and rethought my strategy. I carefully poured the mass into the other bottle and tried to get it divided into both botlles. Unfortunately all I succeeded in doing was causing that thick mass to drape over the two bottles. Meanwhile, the other nurse was standing on the other side of the wall asking me if I was done yet.
"uh, not really." said I. "Can I have a tongue depressor?" That sent the other nurse into anoher set of gagging fits. I understood really because by that point I was gritting my teeth so hard my jaw hurt. I had no choice but to cut the mass in half. That's when the full realization of what I was doing hit me like a ton of bricks and I found myself in the grip of eye-watering, uvula wrenching dry heaves that threatened to upchuck my lunch of spinach tortalini and mushroom sauce. (charming!)
What was it? Sputum. Thick, rubber-like and at least as large as a golf ball. (or as my dearest hubby said after I told him the story "oyster!" Egad! That's making my stomach lurch!:imbar )
And it wasn't even my patient!
Man! I love nursing!
Laura
Caveman
46 Posts
lol...lol...lol...lol:roll
moonchild20002000
288 Posts
I'm laughing so hard I thought I had aspirated my tea!
I once had a patient bring me one of those in a zip lock sandwich bag.
Oh the things we do in a day.........
live4today, RN
5,099 Posts
:rotfl: :rotfl: :rotfl:
Nurse Ratched, RN
2,149 Posts
Oh my, Laura :chuckle.
You're right - your fellow nurses understand and stand in solidarity with you as only those who have had to scoop up similar-consistancied poo specimens can.
And only a nurse can read this and have as a primary thought, "Gee, spinach tortellini and mushroom sauce - that sounds like a great idea for dinner tomorrow! :)"
Hang in there!
ShortFuse_LPN, LPN
256 Posts
Ok, I am seriously starting to worry about myself. Read the whole post while eating and didn't even flinch.........:chuckle
itsme
266 Posts
Heck, at least it wasnt green!!!!
gwenith, BSN, RN
3,755 Posts
Divide it!! HeckNo Doc! If I open that bottle it might escapes and ravage New York!!!:rotfl::rotfl::rotfl:
CCL"Babe", BSN, RN
234 Posts
Now you know why I can't eat oysters, clams or mussels.
jnette, ASN, EMT-I
4,388 Posts
Originally posted by Nurse Ratched Oh my, Laura :chuckle. And only a nurse can read this and have as a primary thought, "Gee, spinach tortellini and mushroom sauce - that sounds like a great idea for dinner tomorrow! :)"
So TRUE, Ratched !!! those were EXACTLY my thoughts..."hmmmmm, that sure sounds good.. wonder where I could get that around here..?"
And yes, Belinda, all the while munching on a packet of Ritz Crackers...
So Laura.. have you fully recovered ?
Rapheal
814 Posts
Gross!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
The things we do in order to help people get well. Also reinforces the old saying "no good deed goes unpunished" lol
canoehead, BSN, RN
6,890 Posts
Great. Now I won't be able to see someone cough without visualizing that ball of goo. Gick.