Never thought working in a doc's office would make me gag!!(graphic, for nurses only!

  1. Okay, so this took the cake today and I tell this story here because I know that as fellow nurses no one will make a mess on their keyboards upon reading this. I thought I was going to die. I walked in the office nurses station this afternoon to find the nurse that works next door hopping around and gagging herself to death. Seems one of her patients handed her a specimine container FULL of a thick whitish substance floating in a clear not to thick fluid. Her boss wanted her to divide the it between two bottles. The poor nurse was seconds from losing her lunch so I took pity on her and volunteered to do it. (Yeah...I know....what was I thinking!!! )

    I figured it I didn't think too much about it I would be fine. Carefully I poured the white goo into another bottle and the whole flippin' thing flopped in one big mass into the other bottle! I felt my stomach roll but with monumental effort I pushed the thought away and rethought my strategy. I carefully poured the mass into the other bottle and tried to get it divided into both botlles. Unfortunately all I succeeded in doing was causing that thick mass to drape over the two bottles. Meanwhile, the other nurse was standing on the other side of the wall asking me if I was done yet.

    "uh, not really." said I. "Can I have a tongue depressor?" That sent the other nurse into anoher set of gagging fits. I understood really because by that point I was gritting my teeth so hard my jaw hurt. I had no choice but to cut the mass in half. That's when the full realization of what I was doing hit me like a ton of bricks and I found myself in the grip of eye-watering, uvula wrenching dry heaves that threatened to upchuck my lunch of spinach tortalini and mushroom sauce. (charming!)

    What was it? Sputum. Thick, rubber-like and at least as large as a golf ball. (or as my dearest hubby said after I told him the story "oyster!" Egad! That's making my stomach lurch!:imbar )

    And it wasn't even my patient!

    Man! I love nursing!

  2. Visit laurasc profile page

    About laurasc

    Joined: Oct '00; Posts: 310; Likes: 107
    Nursing Supervisor
    Specialty: 26 year(s) of experience in Gen Surg, Peds, family med, geriatrics


  3. by   Caveman
  4. by   moonchild20002000
    I'm laughing so hard I thought I had aspirated my tea!

    I once had a patient bring me one of those in a zip lock sandwich bag.

    Oh the things we do in a day.........
  5. by   live4today
  6. by   Nurse Ratched
    Oh my, Laura :chuckle.

    You're right - your fellow nurses understand and stand in solidarity with you as only those who have had to scoop up similar-consistancied poo specimens can.

    And only a nurse can read this and have as a primary thought, "Gee, spinach tortellini and mushroom sauce - that sounds like a great idea for dinner tomorrow! "

    Hang in there!
  7. by   ShortFuse_LPN
    Ok, I am seriously starting to worry about myself. Read the whole post while eating and didn't even flinch.........:chuckle
  8. by   itsme
    Heck, at least it wasnt green!!!!
  9. by   gwenith
    Divide it!! HeckNo Doc! If I open that bottle it might escapes and ravage New York!!!
  10. by   CCL"Babe"
    Now you know why I can't eat oysters, clams or mussels.
    Last edit by CCL"Babe" on Jul 22, '03
  11. by   jnette
    Originally posted by Nurse Ratched
    Oh my, Laura :chuckle.

    And only a nurse can read this and have as a primary thought, "Gee, spinach tortellini and mushroom sauce - that sounds like a great idea for dinner tomorrow! "
    So TRUE, Ratched !!! those were EXACTLY my thoughts..."hmmmmm, that sure sounds good.. wonder where I could get that around here..?"

    And yes, Belinda, all the while munching on a packet of Ritz Crackers...

    So Laura.. have you fully recovered ?
  12. by   Rapheal

    The things we do in order to help people get well. Also reinforces the old saying "no good deed goes unpunished" lol
  13. by   canoehead
    Great. Now I won't be able to see someone cough without visualizing that ball of goo. Gick.
  14. by   NurseDianne my honey would say "looks like something that dropped out of a cows nose"...........yuck.........