Okay, so this took the cake today and I tell this story here because I know that as fellow nurses no one will make a mess on their keyboards upon reading this. I thought I was going to die. I walked in the office nurses station this afternoon to find the nurse that works next door hopping around and gagging herself to death. Seems one of her patients handed her a specimine container FULL of a thick whitish substance floating in a clear not to thick fluid. Her boss wanted her to divide the it between two bottles. The poor nurse was seconds from losing her lunch so I took pity on her and volunteered to do it. (Yeah...I know....what was I thinking!!! )
I figured it I didn't think too much about it I would be fine. Carefully I poured the white goo into another bottle and the whole flippin' thing flopped in one big mass into the other bottle! I felt my stomach roll but with monumental effort I pushed the thought away and rethought my strategy. I carefully poured the mass into the other bottle and tried to get it divided into both botlles. Unfortunately all I succeeded in doing was causing that thick mass to drape over the two bottles. Meanwhile, the other nurse was standing on the other side of the wall asking me if I was done yet.
"uh, not really." said I. "Can I have a tongue depressor?" That sent the other nurse into anoher set of gagging fits. I understood really because by that point I was gritting my teeth so hard my jaw hurt. I had no choice but to cut the mass in half. That's when the full realization of what I was doing hit me like a ton of bricks and I found myself in the grip of eye-watering, uvula wrenching dry heaves that threatened to upchuck my lunch of spinach tortalini and mushroom sauce. (charming!)
What was it? Sputum. Thick, rubber-like and at least as large as a golf ball. (or as my dearest hubby said after I told him the story "oyster!" Egad! That's making my stomach lurch!:imbar )
Specializes in Interventional Pain Mgmt NP; Prior ICU and L/D RN.
Oh that was tooooooooo funny:roll
tortellini does sound good!!!!
We once had these docs pulmonologists group have a little competition b/w them.....
They had to therapeutic bronchs on this pt to maintain his airway and everyday in the pt's med drawer we would find a new specimen cup with a LARGE, BLACK, GOOBER that was hard.....
on top was a little note.....
"LET'S SEE YOU BEAT THIS ONE!!"
oh yea...the things we do.......
How about when someone's necrotic toe or finger falls off...pretty fun having to pick it up huh??
Didn't bother me either and I HATE sputum, but due to time spent on a respiratory cardiac unit, I have some background...WHY did you have to separate it?????Sputum is sputum, after all.. I think I might have had to resort to a urine strainer if there is now indeed some kind of test which requires viscous separation...Ick....
Imagine the poor lab technicians.......I know some of the things that I collect at work are gross, but imagine it after the lid has been air tight for a while and you have to open it and then dig around in it making a slide......
yuck.. I'd choose to be a nurse ANY day over a lab tech... yucko.. at least we see the speci's when they're fresh & new... not tightly capped in a cup or bag... blech... I'd need more than a mask & gloves!
Specializes in LTC,Hospice/palliative care,acute care.
Originally posted by gwenith
Divide it!! HeckNo Doc! If I open that bottle it might escapes and ravage New York!!!:rotfl::rotfl::rotfl:
:roll :roll :roll O my Lord! "The Goober that Gobbled New York"-a Japanese film with english voice over....Hahahahahah.... On this weekends Creature double Feature-along with "The c-dif that rocked Chicago"
Specializes in Gen Surg, Peds, family med, geriatrics.
Thanks for the "sympathy" fellow nurses. I'll let you know when the golf-ball sized lugie's results come back.
It wasn't until well after the fact that I made a rather disturbing connection. Who's seen the movie "The Blob"? Remember the old man poking that blob with a stick? Remember what the blob did? It crawled up the stick and ate the man. I was poking that blob with a "stick". Man, I'm glad that thought didn't come to me then!
Specializes in Gen Surg, Peds, family med, geriatrics.
Originally posted by BadBird
Hahahaha, wait until you do trach suctioning and trach care, heheheh, oh are you in for a treat.
Yeah, been there, done that. I left a floor because of it waaay back. It was a general surgery floor that brought in a doc that did head and neck dissection for CA. Fresh trachs did me in! :imbar
)
NurseDianne, ADN
264 Posts
:rotfl: OMG..........as my honey would say "looks like something that dropped out of a cows nose"...........yuck.........