"Are you still a nurse?" This is a question I hear all too often from medical and non-medical people. This is my response.....
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Am I Still a Nurse? The Question I Am Asked Too Often
I will start by saying, "Yes I am a nurse and I have been one for 21 years".......after that, things get more convoluted. I don't remember ever deciding to be a nurse, it seems that I just always was on that yellow brick road. You see, I am a nurturer. A caregiver. A quick thinker. I read people's feeling and emotions. I try to fix what seems wrong. I am an educator. Most of all, I give with all I have, so after high school I followed the path to nursing school, graduating with my BSN.
Straight after graduation, I went on to work in hospice for 5 years. Hospice was another natural step for me. I believe it is nursing at it's more natural and vulnerable state. You utilize minimal technology.....you watch, listen, feel, read, and teach your way through the care of your patient. I LOVED that job, but I kept hearing from so many seasoned nurses around me that I would "lose my nursing skills" if I did not take a hospital job sooner than later. Everyone said..."Med-Surg is the core and foundation for all nursing care". It worried me so much, that I left a job I loved to throw myself straight into the float pool at a major medical center. That way I would get it all! Needless to say, I put in my time, disliking the nurse/ patient ratios and the fact that I felt like no one got my full attention. I passed meds all shift long. This was not the job for me, but I got my "experience" and an inkling that I might like Intensive care. I caught the attention of the ICU staff who encouraged me to come work with them.
Through life's turns, I did take a job in the Cardiac Critical Care Unit of a HUGE teaching hospital several states away. That's where I found my next loves......my husband and the level and type of care that I was able to give in the CCU. I was a fabulous critical care nurse. I loved the technology and caring for life and death issues with such precision, speed, and thoughtfulness all while having the ratio I desired so I could bond with my patient's and families. I was able to take the time to nurture and educate when families were so afraid. As opposite as it seemed from hospice care, there was so much similarity. (By the way...I continued to keep one clog in the hospice door throughout my time working in the CCU. I felt it kept me grounded, and reminded me to look, listen and feel.)
After I got married and we started having kids, I took some time off to act as a nurse in a different fashion. I do truly believe every mom is part nurse. I always knew I would go back to critical care and hospice until God had another plan. After the birth of our last son, I had a very unexpected life-altering door slam right in front of me. I lost my hearing. A lot of it. Bam....bilateral hearing aides, worsening deafness without an answer or plateau of loss in sight. Tinnitus...very...loud..ringing..every waking moment. Funny how loud deafness can be.
I was sad, scared, and mad. I want to say, that hearing-impaired nurses are very capable of providing excellent patient care in every area of nursing. The technology in the field of hearing devices is fascinating and phenomenal, but as for me personally, I felt that I could not provide the same level of critical care and quality of care that I had before my hearing loss. A large part may be fear. Fear that what I do not hear may make a life or death situation for my patient.
With a very angry, and bitter heart, I decided that my days as a bedside nurse were over. Part of me had been lost...more than just my hearing. Nursing is who I am. I have grieved and to be honest, I still do grieve not caring for patients at the bedside.....but life had to go on.
I went back to school for Clinical Documentation and Coding. I sat for the national certification exam, passed, and added CCS (certified coding specialist) to my list of letters. I currently work for a large medical center as a Clinical Documentation Specialist. I review the medical records and follow patients concurrently during their hospital stay to ensure that the care given at the bedside is accurately reflected in the documentation. It is challenging. I work with some great doctors and have learned a lot about medicine and documentation. I also found passion in writing stories that are either personal or inspiring to me. It's a way for me to share a piece of myself with others.
It always surprises me, and I will admit, it stings a bit when I am asked if I am still a nurse. There is a common, sort of old-school-thought, that nurses practice at the bedside only. Honestly, I have been asked this question as often by fellow nurses as the non-medical public. As the decades pass, the role of nurses expands as we are entrepreneurs, inventors, teachers, advanced care practitioners, writers, managers etc. So when you leave bedside care, are you no longer a nurse? I can honestly say that I use my nursing knowledge, critical thinking, nurturing care every day in some capacity. My husband can tell you, I stop for every car accident, fallen kid on the playground or sports event. I get asked medical advice from anyone and everyone it seems some days, and I absolutely love when I can help a loved one with care or support when needed. All that aside from my day job as a NURSE who works in Clinical Documentation Improvement. I can only speak for myself when I say that nursing is who I am not just what I do. So when I am asked if I am still a nurse, (as if what I do isn't nursing), I can stand tall and say "Yes I am!"
