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Am I selfish for going back to school?

Nurses   (7,149 Views 34 Comments)
by nancypants nancypants (Member)

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Not at all. There comes a time you need to do things for you.

I am in the same age range you are and just started back. Working on my pre-reqs right now. My kids are all between 20-23 and I have 2 grandchildren. I did a LOT of putting off but then early last summer something changed my mind.

I was in line at Best Buy. There was a lady in her late 30's-early 40's with 4 children between 8-12. They all called her mom. She was talking to the cashier explaining she just graduated nursing school, got her license and a job. She was spending part of her first pay check buying a tv, dvd player, and some movies for her kids that haven't had a tv in years. The joy and excitement she has was just so contagious. I was welling up just hearing her story.

:)

It will be hard but very rewarding in the end and your children will be proud to see you graduate.

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17,816 Visitors; 1,840 Posts

It's been my experience that those who post a question like yours don't really care whether or not it is selfish, they just want support from those who will tell them to do what they want to do.

If you are concerned about the stress, then you should be asking questions that will give you a good idea of what life will be like for you and your children while in school, and also what it will be like as a nurse. Then, you should take that information and apply it with the best interests of your children in mind.

Personally, I don't think children should be directly involved in a decision like this because they don't know what is best for them. That's why they have parents.

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One1 has 3 years experience as a BSN, RN and specializes in Emergency, Pre-Op, PACU, OR.

7,293 Visitors; 375 Posts

Another thing to consider is how much/little time you are capable/willing to spend (or not spend) with your teenagers while you are in nursing school. If you go for an accelerated program, it will be over quicker but you will not spend much time with your children while you are in it. If you go through a slower, traditional program, you might be able to spend more time with them but you will be in school longer. Also, if you are concerned about your teenagers getting into trouble, consider that you might be in clinicals nights or on weekends, which can be prime time for teenage-trouble ;).

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2 Followers; 46,542 Visitors; 8,863 Posts

It's been my experience that those who post a question like yours don't really care whether or not it is selfish, they just want support from those who will tell them to do what they want to do.

If you are concerned about the stress, then you should be asking questions that will give you a good idea of what life will be like for you and your children while in school, and also what it will be like as a nurse. Then, you should take that information and apply it with the best interests of your children in mind.

Personally, I don't think children should be directly involved in a decision like this because they don't know what is best for them. That's why they have parents.

I agree and the mention of concern over "burnout" this early on caught my eye. Imvho "burnout" just isn't an option when you are a single mom.

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Heidi the nurse is a BSN, RN and specializes in School Nurse.

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"Burnout just isn't an option when you are a single mom".

Ya but sometimes things happen and burnout occurs. I've been a single mom since my 9 year old was 2 weeks old, and can tell you - it occurs.

Maybe nursing school isn't the best fit for the OP - but I still think if anyone has any idea of going back to school for whatever career - DO IT NOW. Our state colleges are starting to deny entrance to many very well qualified students in order to get money from out of state students. Tuition period is going up - as much as 20% I have heard in some areas. Pretty soon you will either have to be super rich or super in debt when you leave to go to college. That is not something a single mom needs.

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2 Followers; 46,542 Visitors; 8,863 Posts

"Burnout just isn't an option when you are a single mom".

Ya but sometimes things happen and burnout occurs. I've been a single mom since my 9 year old was 2 weeks old, and can tell you - it occurs.

Maybe nursing school isn't the best fit for the OP - but I still think if anyone has any idea of going back to school for whatever career - DO IT NOW. Our state colleges are starting to deny entrance to many very well qualified students in order to get money from out of state students. Tuition period is going up - as much as 20% I have heard in some areas. Pretty soon you will either have to be super rich or super in debt when you leave to go to college. That is not something a single mom needs.

I hear ya but I didn't allow myself to even consider that as an option when going into something that I knew from the get go will be this difficult. Totally agree that anyone who thinks they want to be a nurse and is able to go to school should do it sooner rather than later.

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AOX4RN has 7 years experience as a MSN, RN, NP and specializes in Emergency Department.

8,115 Visitors; 631 Posts

It's been my experience that those who post a question like yours don't really care whether or not it is selfish, they just want support from those who will tell them to do what they want to do.

Like the proverbial, "I am the only one who...." ;)

Anyway, I'm 42 and in my 3rd semester of school. If you're selfish, I suck!! I am married and have four kids who are 10, 12, 14, 16. My being in school has motivated them not to screw off in high school so they won't be married with kids and killing themselves to go to college! All of them are A students and have my husband to look after them when I'm not around. You can do it with stress, hours out of the house, etc, but you need support. So enlist grandparents, aunts, uncles, their dad, etc., so they don't fall through the cracks and have someone to crack the whip when you can't.

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josinda421 specializes in Geriatrics.

6,738 Visitors; 343 Posts

I'm a couple years older than you, but am a single mom with kids in the same age range (9,11 and 14). I have been an RN for 20 years and need a change - so will be going back to school for something in the next few months.

The way I look at it - I'm burned out, I want a change, my kids are in school, the price of tuition is going to do nothing but rise - if I'm going to do it I have no choice but to start now. The 14 year old is concerning me because he has his first girlfriend and could care less about school. So I hope I can spark some excitement for learning in him as I go back to school. I will have to work some, but hope I can do so within their school hours.

Hey Heidi, if you don't mind me asking...what are you going back to school for after so many years in the nursing field? I definitely feel you on the "burn out" thing. It's something every nurse goes through and question themselves.."why did I get myself into all of this".lol

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Heidi the nurse is a BSN, RN and specializes in School Nurse.

4,517 Visitors; 248 Posts

Hey Heidi, if you don't mind me asking...what are you going back to school for after so many years in the nursing field? I definitely feel you on the "burn out" thing. It's something every nurse goes through and question themselves.."why did I get myself into all of this".lol

Its a toss up - either ARNP, or (after working in the school system for 6 years) Teacher of the Visually Impaired. I am truly unsure. TVI really intrigues me, and I would have to go back and pick up a bunch of graduate level Education classes (basically I would be a Special Ed. teacher when I'm done). Both really "call" to me. I love working with special needs kids above all, and love the teaching/educational part of school nursing. But also love the idea of trying to figure out "what is that?". I read about one and get excited and think that will be my choice. Then read about the other and have the same reaction.

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1,135 Visitors; 15 Posts

what U would probably feel guilty about is not having a reliable trade when u reach the age to draw ssi because by that time there may be none...and then your kids will have the burden of trying to take care of you in your older age. theyll be alright families go thru more difficut things in this day and time! and this will also set a good example for them- NO PAIN NO GAIN

Edited by bs98241
sensitivity

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MillieT has 11 years experience and specializes in Oncology.

2,358 Visitors; 74 Posts

I almost became a single mom and when that happened I started working 24 hrs/week as a nurse and applied to graduate school to get my NP so I could make enough money to support them in college if need be. My kids are 15 & 17.

I ended up not divorcing, but my going back to work has had a very positive effect on our family. My husband didn't leave and things are well now. They all chip in together to keep the house up while I'm gone and I truly think the girls appreciate the effort I'm putting in. I'm also showing them that I can be a good mom and work too.

School starts in one month, and things will be easier.

We homeschool, so I see my kids more than most, but I really think going back to school and working has been a big positive.

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Chin up has 26 years experience and specializes in Med surg, LTC, Administration.

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It's been my experience that those who post a question like yours don't really care whether or not it is selfish, they just want support from those who will tell them to do what they want to do.

If you are concerned about the stress, then you should be asking questions that will give you a good idea of what life will be like for you and your children while in school, and also what it will be like as a nurse. Then, you should take that information and apply it with the best interests of your children in mind.

Personally, I don't think children should be directly involved in a decision like this because they don't know what is best for them. That's why they have parents.

Excellent, excellent, great post!

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