Am I selfish for going back to school?

linearthinker, DNP, RN · Apr 27, 2011

No, of course not. Just be sure there is a market for nurses where you live and that you will be able to do the 12h shifts, weekends, etc. Good luck.

ijuanabhappy, ASN, RN · Apr 27, 2011

It's been my experience that those who post a question like yours don't really care whether or not it is selfish, they just want support from those who will tell them to do what they want to do.
If you are concerned about the stress, then you should be asking questions that will give you a good idea of what life will be like for you and your children while in school, and also what it will be like as a nurse. Then, you should take that information and apply it with the best interests of your children in mind.
Personally, I don't think children should be directly involved in a decision like this because they don't know what is best for them. That's why they have parents.

I don't necessarily agree with this. Yes, sometimes that is the case, but I believe that some people are truly torn on making difficult decisions in life and want opinions. I know I have asked opinions on this site before when I had no clue which way to turn.

Kids don't know what is best for them, but they are pretty smart, especially at those ages :cool: , and I have been guilty of pulling my older kids into conversations that are similar. Probably not the best idea, but I have done that myself.

To OP: No, I don't think you are selfish, but do make sure nursing is what you want to do. I went to school later in life and my kids did sacrifice for those two years because I felt I wasn't always available for them. Now I am finding it hard to find a niche in nursing. Good luck!

1southernstudent · Apr 27, 2011

The best gift you can give your children is a happy fulfilled mom. Yes, it'll be stressful and tough....isn't life that anyway? If you want it go for it. I did! I'm finishing my 2nd semester of nursing (after 1 year of prereqs) I'm married and have 4 kids. Is it hard? Yes!!! Does it require sacrifices on everyone's part? Yes!!! Is it worth it? Yes!!!

sunnyside11 · Apr 27, 2011

Go for it! I am your age and will be starting classes in July and yes, I have run through the same thoughts....am I selfish, how will my children handle this, how will I afford this, will I have the support...as I'm sure you know the questions could go on forever. Well, I can tell you mine is a passion to become a nurse. I have been in Administrative Healthcare for almost 20 years and want to be more hands on with patient care and be a voice for those in need. I see it daily, nursing is a demanding job, and I have seen many of times when a nurse is disrespected, yet she seems to still smile and get the job done! So, if it is truly something you desire, don't let anything stand in your way! Best of luck to you!

nancypants · Apr 27, 2011

Thanks! You are a huge inspiration!

peaceful · Apr 27, 2011

School will change you and your children's life. Go for it, do not look back. Nursing school is extremely stressful and difficult. I was in my forties while in nursing school for my BSN. I am now in graduate school, more than half way to my goal as an NP at age 54. Do not let age stop ya.

Jules A, MSN · Apr 27, 2011

I don't necessarily agree with this. Yes, sometimes that is the case, but I believe that some people are truly torn on making difficult decisions in life and want opinions. I know I have asked opinions on this site before when I had no clue which way to turn.

What I find telling is that most times the posters who get a reply or kudos from the OP are the ones who supports their view and not anyone offering counter points. :cool:

GM2RN · Apr 27, 2011

What I find telling is that most times the posters who get a reply or kudos from the OP are the ones who supports their view and not anyone offering counter points.

Here's a counter point from another member in a different thread on a different topic, but still totally applicable to this discussion:

KDBSN, I am in an LPN program right now and I lay awake part of the night trying to decide if I am going to go on to RN. I want to, but I am so darn tired and broke. I am signed up for more pre-reqs this summer and am about to cancel because I am having a hard time coming up with the extra money to fund it. Im also about ready to settle for LPN because school takes away so much from my family. I dont have enough time for my kids, and I am exhausted from the stress of the last few years of school. How do other people overcome these obstacles to a higher education?

pockunit, ADN, RN · Apr 27, 2011

If you don't take care of yourself, how can you expect to take good care of your kids? You need to progress in your own life, and if nursing is what you want to do, then you should do it.

Will your life be more stressful if you stay where you are and can't make a better life, or will it be more stressfull if you have to go to school for a few years but know (to the day) when it's going to end? I'm guessing school is going to be less stressful, although it has its own burdens, to be sure.

If you stay where you are, the stress you feel will not go away and may increase. If you go to school, the stress will change, and may increase for a while.

just4 · Apr 27, 2011

You need to ask yourself whether you are doing it for your kids or for yourself due to midlife crisis. Somehow you all have been managing so far, and in 6 more years your youngest will be out of the nest, so unless you stop working and rush through to get your education, your kids won't get any benefits. In a way you are leaving them on their own at a time when they need you most, their teen years, since you are a single parent. If I were you I wold just take one class per semester and see how it goes. Consider carefully delaying your dream until both children have reached 18. I write this as one of my colleagues has her son in intensive care with police posted outside his room. Last year the son of another colleague was killed by what appears to be gang violence. The regular nursing hours are taxing enough on a single parent family, and if you add classes and homework, the outcome is not always positive.