Am I fighting a losing battle? Should I quit?

[Noney]

Cheerful,

You're too much of a nurse to quit! Remember that young girl in the white cap and white uniform. You know you love nursing too much to quit. Find a different job. Does your hospital have a visiting nurse attached to it? Maybe you could tranfer there and not have to pay back money.

PS. You are an inspiration to alot of us even if we don't tell all the time.

Noney

[NiceNurse]

I have much the same situation. A resident at our home is on three seizure meds. Her Dilantin levels were toxic on a Friday night, so the nurse held the Dilantin. It was still being held when I came on duty second shift the following Monday. I was told at report "we are holding the Dilantin" "we've called and faxed her M.D. 11 times with no answer". My supervisor said "I'm still trying to get him to answer us". So I held the Dilantin, next day she has seizure activity and is sent to ER (funny how fast he answered then). So I've got a written reprimand that they want me to sign acknowledging I held meds w/o an order. I'm thinking maybe I won't sign it. She also was found to have a UTI. Everyone got a reprimand that had that hall during those days because we all held the Dilantin. Wonder if they'll fire me.

[sjoe]

"They don't want a good nurse. What they want is a warm body who is "task and servant oriented" who doesn't talk or speak for herself/himself. They want a person without a bladder, without a need to deficate while on duty, without a need for nourishment while on duty. They want doormats and handmaidens. "

Cheerful, first of all, don't let people convince you that this is "just you" and something about yourself that you have to "improve." You have rather clearly described exactly what many employers are looking for and the only kind of employees they wish to retain. Yes, I know you looked long and hard before you took this job. You might want to follow up on some of the warm and welcoming responses you received from nurses in Indiana during that time.

With that said, my suggestion would be to continue looking around, both within and outside of nursing, for a working environment that suits you and/or to which you can accommodate without compromising your working/professional values OR your self-respect--and just know that finding it will be a challenge. It really does not matter so much whether you work as a nurse, but whether you are reasonably happy in your job, IMHO.

Best wishes,

sjoe

[Genista, BSN, RN]

Cheerfuldoer-

First off, another (((((((HUG)))))) for you.

Thank goodness there are a few good assertive nurses like you left. It's a crying shame that your employer is treating you so terribly. What a foolish manager that person is. What you describe in your post is an average shift for me, too. *Sigh* It's tough to maintain a positive outlook in a nurse-hostile climate, isn't it? Healthcare is a grueling place to work these days. It can really get to you after awhile. I would tend to agree with sjoe. Look for something better out there, but don't limit it to nursing. It sounds like you are a fantastic nurse, so there are probably plenty of places that would snap you right up. But, remember to ask yourself what you really want to do. Follow your heart...take some time off as others suggested...and think about it.

May you have sweet dreams tonight...tomorrow is a new day.

:kiss

[Liddle Noodnik]

Originally posted by cheerfuldoer

I'm about ready to kiss nursing goodbye for good.

Hey hon

I retired from nursing probably 3 times in my 23 years and planned on it being "for good". Once was 3 years when I went back to school (I was disabled due to depression, wonder why, LOL). Those 3 years were the best years of my life -- I wrote, I took care of myself, I had a little leftover to give to those I love -- mahvelous. But "something" always calls me back, the gift, the calling, the skills I know are needed?

I did agency (local) for 4 years, that helped. I could say no to specific assignments and I learned a lot, and most important I could STAY OUT OF THE POLITICS! I mostly stayed out of acute care, did long term, mostly, thru the agency. Hard work too but less fear inspiring as you knew most people were due to go Home anyway. God could be more in control; in acute care I always grab the reins as if I am in control!

Anyway, back in acute care since this past April and it is getting SUCKY again, stuff like what you are talking about. Also have personal stress that's interfering, I almost feel I could do my job if it weren't for all the other stuff. But ya know what? PROBABLY NOT!

Anyway, it is time my dear to do some searching. I am cutting back my hours for now, is that something you can do?

BTW, I applied to Walmart and bookstores on my hiatus and they wouldn't hire me dang it. Over qualified? Who knows ... I was p.o.'d tho'!

[Rapheal]

I feel for you. Last 2 weeks my posts have been filled with despair because I felt the same way you do. I am starting another job and feel so much better. I was so unhappy at work that my unhappiness spilled over into all other aspects of my life and I was starting to get depressed. Do you feel like that?

I wonder if you (and perhaps all of us at some time in our careers) are going through a grieving process. We start out in nursing hoping to make a difference, putting our best foot forward to care for patients. When the environment prevents us from delivering good care we mourn the loss of our dream of what being a nurse meant to us. I think it is a loss of this dream that brings about the stages of grief such as anger, denial, sadness, ect.

I wish you the best of luck. I hope you consider another position in nursing before you decide to give it up. It is probally because you are such a good nurse that you feel so unhappy.

[Audreyfay]

Cheerful, You have spent too many years accumulating valuable knowledge and experience to throw it away. It's time to switch to another unit. Try a real change of pace, such as OB, Nursery, OR, ER, Outpt surgery, or Telephone Triage. Sometimes a new job puts you back on the road to recovery. You can color me "been there 3 times in 27 years." It sounds like you took a hit for the team. It wasn't just you. However, you were the target and took a hit for the entire unit/hospital. It doesn't feel good, but nothing you can do about the hit. I've taken the hit twice. Did not feel good, but after awhile, I understood why the family did it. Take care of you, my friend!

[live4today, RN]

Allnurses.....you guys and gals are great! What a support system Allnurses has here. So amazing! I love you all for the support and very good advice you've offered to me on this thread. I can feel the strength, the caring, the love, the compassion so well. It's great to be able to come here for a healing from nurses by nurses. Thanks for being here for me, and for each other. ((((((HUGS)))))) :kiss :balloons:

I talked to another nurse manager today. She listened intently for about an hour. She was very kind, very understanding, very compassionate, and able to identify with my situation as she stated she'd been there and done that, and so has many other nurses she knew. She agreed to let me put in a transfer for her floor. I'm so excited! I won't know if it is official until HR gets the transfer slip because someone else may have already applied for that position before me that the nurse manager is unaware of as yet, but at least there is hope. If not, I'll keep on keeping on and applying elswhere. At least I feel better having talked with that nurse manager about things. I was very upfront and open with her about everything...the good and the bad in regards to myself and others on the unit (including the nurse manager). I wanted nothing but the truth to be told so if she took me on she would know what was up. I'll let you all know how things go next week.

If I can't be a strong advocate for staff and patients, then I should NOT be in nursing. If I cannot assert my professional knowledge in being firm with patients who are not motivated to live, then I should NOT be a nurse.

What matters is the END result of the care the patient receives. Did I help the patient? Did I motivate the patient as evidenced by them getting out of bed, ambulating, eating their diet, or trying their diet? Did I educate them on their disease process? Did I get them to respond that they were being noncompliant and a big part of their health deteriorating? If I did this, then I should be a nurse. I am a nurse. I will remain the nurse that I know I am. I will continue to motivate patients the best way I know how KNOWING at the time the patient may resent me for caring enough about them to move them towards healthy living at their optimal best. If this type of nurse is no longer sought after, I'll "hang up my hat".

[ktwlpn, LPN]

Originally posted by cheerfuldoer

Allnurses.....you guys and gals are great! What a support system Allnurses has here. So amazing! I love you all for the support and very good advice you've offered to me on this thread. I can feel the strength, the caring, the love, the compassion so well. It's great to be able to come here for a healing from nurses by nurses. Thanks for being here for me, and for each other.

I talked to another nurse manager today. She listened intently for about an hour. She was very kind, very understanding, very compassionate, and able to identify with my situation as she stated she'd been there and done that, and so has many other nurses she knew. She agreed to let me put in a transfer for her floor. B]

Hip Hip Hooray!!!:kiss

[Rapheal]

Cheerfuldoer,

I am so happy for you!!!!!!!!!!! You go on and be the nurse you are meant to be. Keep us posted.

[live4today, RN]

Thanks ktwlpn and Raphael for your support and encouraging thoughts! :kiss

I feel better, but still have a nervous stomach because I have to work this weekend on the unit causing me so much grief. It will take a little time for my transfer to be sent after I turn it in tomorrow. I meet with the other nurse manager at the end of next week, and she'll show me around the unit, introduce me to the staff, and let me ask questions of the staff about their unit if I choose to. She sounds like a wonderful nurse manager, and is FOR her nurses not against them. :)

[maggiesma]

I will echo what others have said here.....you need to find a different position, but don't leave Nursing. I really doubt that after saving lives WAl Mart or Barnes and Nobles would be as satisfying!

Have you read either of Echo Heron's books? She is a nurse turned author and wrote two books "Intensive Care Nurse" and COndition Critical" they are both awesome and had me crying and laughing at the same time. I recommend them to anyone who is a nurse or thinking of being a nurse!

Hang in there!!!