Hello everyone. I am extremely conflicted in this decision. I work in an ICU which is now basically a COVID unit, on top of the PCU (the designated COVID unit) which we get pulled to regularly. It's no surprise there is an incomprehensible shortage of PPE, and shockingly bad backpedaling and safety recommendations from the CDC that had they made even 4 months ago would have cause a national uproar.
I have asthma and chronic bronchitis. Any little chest cold turns into full blown bronchitis for me. My girlfriend (we don't live together) has respiratory issues that require monthly injections of an immunosuppressant to manage. We haven't seen each other for almost a month now. Last week at this time, we had 1-2 two COVID patients.. at this point, all critical care units are overflowing and the safety precautions are terrible as they are everywhere else. The testing is awful with 4-6 day turnaround time. We get one N95 per shift no matter how many patients. They've increased nurse to patient ratio, which makes the one N95 even more unsafe. We can only wear it if the patient is undergoing aerosol producing procedures/treatments, otherwise, a standard surgical mask. I failed the fit test anyway. RN's are told to come in if exposed but asymptomatic, and if we are exposed to a positive patient, we only get tested if symptomatic. We have PAPRs but can only be used with positive patients due to lack of filter supply, but we won't know if they are positive until almost a week. To this day, I don't think they've been used yet. So by the time we CAN use them, it's pointless.. we've already been exposed. We are seeing younger patients with only a history of asthma or no real history crashing and burning.. going into ARDS and being intubated and placed in rotoprone beds. That's what scares me the most. Otherwise young healthy patients on the brink of death.
I really like my unit. I respect my manager, and my team, but I just don't feel safe and the anxiety is crushing. The healthcare system in general failed us. I feel it's not a matter of if but WHEN I will get this, and given my respiratory issues, will it take me out, or just hit me hard enough to cause permanent lung damage. That said, I was going to put my two weeks in but girlfriend suggested FMLA to buy some time to think about it.
I feel like I'm deserting my team when needed most. But I also didn't sign up to risk my life due to a comedy of errors, oversight, indifference, and/or just the never ending need for more profit by the powers that be. I feel what I'm doing is the logical, right, and safe move but can't get over this feeling of cowardliness and letting everyone down for doing it. However other times I feel I am being strong for giving up a well paying job with benefits for my physical/mental health and not allowing them to do me this way. Just looking for opinions one way or the other. Thank you and stay safe out there.
