Agnostic/Athiest Beliefs and Comforting a Dying Patient

Tweety, BSN, RN · Jun 22, 2006

I often don't have the same faith of the dying patients I care for. Fortunately I don't care for dying patients often. I take care of the physical comforts and leave the spiritual matters to the Chaplins. Cop out I know. I'm not saying I turn the patient off, I allow them any expression they choose and I listen.

If you're at a good place with your own spirituality (be it athesist or agnostic or a religion), with death and dying, AND you respect the patients faith, I think your own personal beliefs need not matter if you sincerely care about the patient.

meownsmile, BSN, RN · Jun 22, 2006

I agree, respecting the patients faith is most important at that time. It shouldnt matter what YOU believe, its not your faith or lack of that makes any difference. Offer to call their minister or someone who they can have help them if your uncomfortable with it. But in the scheme of things, their beliefs are all that count right then.

ktwlpn, LPN · Jun 22, 2006

i'm sure this post will make me a bit unpopular, but it is something that weighs on my mind. if you don't believe in religion or god - are there other ways to comfort a patient who is religious? what's the most helpful way to handle this issue and respect the patient's religious ideals without seeming insincere?

i'll put you on my "friends" list,ok? you'll at least have one :lol2:

kidding aside-the best you can do is make some calls and make sure the appropriate religious affiliate gets to the person's bedside if they wish and then focus on the nursing measures you can offer..i think these people find their own comfort in their faith-they don't really need our help with it at that time.i don't think our personal religous beliefs (or "disbeliefs") should enter into the care we give our patients......

leslie :-D · Jun 22, 2006

If you're at a good place with your own spirituality (be it athesist or agnostic or a religion), with death and dying, AND you respect the patients faith, I think your own personal beliefs need not matter if you sincerely care about the patient.

precisely tweety. :balloons:

it's essential to be secure in your spirituality.

if one is truly secure, there should be no need to be threatened by your pts' beliefs.

and the pt always always always comes first.

leslie

TazziRN, RN · Jun 22, 2006

What Tweety said, but what Meownsmile said too.

Jo Dirt · Jun 22, 2006

When you are dealing with a dying patient, don't say a word about your beliefs, and don't say a word about theirs.

TazziRN, RN · Jun 23, 2006

When you are dealing with a dying patient, don't say a word about your beliefs, and don't say a word about theirs.

Soooooo....if a dying pt wants to talk about his/her beliefs, we should just stand there and say nothing?

glenwood · Jun 23, 2006

As An Athiest Nurse I Have Not Had A Problem Dealing With Dying Pathients. I Tell Them I Am Not Religious If They Ask. Ive Read The Bible To Patients Who Have Asked Me To. I Never Chalenge Their Belief Ststems Because When Your Dying Is Not The Time To Change Or Take On New Insecurites.

One Patient I Remember Was A Gay Catholic Dying Of Aids Who Was Upset Because Being Gay Was A Sin In The Eyes Of His Church. I Told Him I Had Cared For Many Priests With Aids And They Felt Their Church Was Changing Its Mind On This Issue. When He Heard There Were gay Priests He Was Relieved.

MOST PEOPLE ARE HARDER ON THEMSELVES THAN THEIR RELIGION REQUIRES. LET THEM TALK ABOUT THEIR LIVES, POINT OUT THE GOOD THEY HAVE DONE, ASK THEM WHAT THERE RELIGION SAYS ABOUT IT, HOLD UP THEIR OWN STANDARDS AND LET THEM SEE THEY HAVE LED A GOOD LIFE.

Many People Belive God Is Punishing Them For Their Sins By Illness. I Talk To Them About The Storey Of Jobe. No Religion Believes Illnes And Death Are Gods Punishment Because This Happens To Us All Sooner Or Latter.

A PRIEST OR A RABI ISN'T ALWAYS AVAILABLE IN THE MIDDLE OF THE NIGHT WHEN SOMEONE NEEDS TO TALK AND JUST BY BEING NON-JUDGEMENTAL AND TAKEING THEIR RELIGIOUS CONCERNS SERIOUSLY A NURSE CAN PROVIDE A LOT OF HUMAN COMFORT AND SPIRITUAL SOLACE WHILE WAITING FOR THE CLERIC TO COME.

glenwood · Jun 23, 2006

A Lot Of Times It Is In The Middle Of The Night That The Anxious Patient Wants To Talk And There Is No Priest Or Rabi Available. As An Athiest I Have Noticed That Most People Are Harder On Themelves Than Their Relgion Dictates. So I Listen And Try To Get The Pathient To Tell Me What There Religion Says About Sin And Repentance And Ask Them To Judge Jhemselves By Their Own Standards And Recognise The Good Things They Have Done In Their Lives.

Just Listening To Someone And Helping Them Put Their Lives Into Perspective, Taking Their Religious Concerns Seriously While Not Shareing Them Often Provides A Lot Of Human Comfort And Help The Person Die In Peace.

allnurses Guide · Jun 23, 2006

If you're at a good place with your own spirituality (be it athesist or agnostic or a religion), with death and dying, AND you respect the patients faith, I think your own personal beliefs need not matter if you sincerely care about the patient.

I really like this statement - our own personal beliefs need not matter and we should sincerely care about our patient and his/her beliefs.

This isn't the time to stand up on a soap box and declare anything about yourself. Just listen to them. Hold their hand. Cry with them if you feel led.

My experiences with people who are dying have been, for the most part, positive and I'm honored to be at their bedside.

steph

HisDaughterJeanne · Jun 23, 2006

thanks so much everyone! your comments and advice have helped more than you know. I was fully prepared to get flamed (no pun intended) - I guess I should've known that nurses are much more understanding than the average human!

I really like the idea of asking the patient to explain how their particular religion works and helping them to realize their "good deeds", rather than offering up anything false. i guess i felt that being dishonest = being disrespectful and I don't want to be either of those things!