Afraid to kill a patient

akulahawkRN, ADN, RN, EMT-P · Mar 2, 2014

Don't worry too much... most of what you fear is simply being human. You won't be thrown to the wolves and expected to function as if you were a well-trained and experienced nurse right away. Nursing education programs are designed to ease you from being a new student to a safe beginner that can function in the basic capacity of a nurse who is ready to learn more. You'll learn what's safe and what's not safe. As long as you follow the rules that you've learned in school, you are very unlikely to do something so bad that you end up killing someone. Also, over time and experience in your clinical rotations, you'll be exposed to many different smells and sights... and you'll eventually become somewhat desensitized to those sights and smells. It's not to say that you won't still gag at some things, but you'll at least know you can handle many things... and still be human about it.

klone, MSN, RN · Mar 3, 2014

Honestly, Ward, your post is WAY more comforting to read than those of students asking about whether they'll be allowed to insert picc lines or do chest tubes or put in an EJ. Your fear will cause you to be a cautious nurse, and a cautious nurse is a good nurse. You will probably have performance anxiety before shifts for the first several months, but that is just part of being a new nurse. Try not to stress too much, what you're feeling is very normal, and okay.

loriangel14, RN · Mar 3, 2014

We don't want you to get over your fear of killing someone. That's a good fear to have as long as it doesn't stop you from functioning as a nurse. I would rather a new grad be nervous about making a mistake than to be casual and unconcerned.Follow the safety rules and be mindful of what you are doing and you should be fine. BTW, everyone makes mistakes.If you meet a nurse that claims she has never made a med error, they are lying.

The smells? It gets better but some will still cuase you to breath through your mouth.

imintrouble, BSN, RN · Mar 3, 2014

I'm still afraid I'll kill someone. It doesn't paralyze me, but it's still there.

As far as the smells, you build up a tolerance over time. You get used to it.

I gagged uncontrollably as a student when I had to hold an emesis basin.

Now I can sift through it to see if the pills came up. (That is so gross)

Been there,done that, ASN, RN · Mar 3, 2014

Please don't anticipate the negatives. You are realizing that you will have a great responsibility.. and that's a good thing. You will have many disciplines involved in the delivery of your care. I promise.. you will NEVER single handedly kill anybody.

You will help many more people than hurt them.

As far as the smells... it's an individual response. If you gag.. oh well. You are human. Learn to breathe through your mouth, most smells will be minimized.

Good luck.. focus on the nursing interventions you will provide to those in need.

msygrnbw · Mar 3, 2014

Just wanna say that you're normal. New grad here and saying I am worried I'll hurt someone. Not so scared of the vomit aspect (Mouth breathing! Distracting thoughts!) but I worry a lot about if I will be able to help my patients as much as they need me.

bakerbakerRN · Mar 3, 2014

You will do just fine! Just stay cautious and careful throughout your career and you will quit worrying so much over this.....as we all do in the back of our minds.

One thing about the gagging though, use Mentholatum or Vick's Vapo Rub in and under your nose if you need to, or get some peppermint oil

....I have a couple of funny stories to share. Maybe you will feel better knowing we all have the same problems when we start out too.....

As an PN student, I had an elderly patient who had megacolon. I had to empty his BSC and the smell was horrible, but I when I looked at it, I about lost it!! I mean it was the MOST MASSIVE turd I have ever seen, still to this day. What was even worse was he had 2 daughters who were RNs standing there and one of them was married to another RN who was also there. So I have 3 RNS watching me clean up Pop's poop and I just imagined them glaring at me with their beady little judgmental eyes. Luckily, I didn't embarrass myself in front of them and was able to make it to the bathroom and start flushing the toilet over and over so they wouldn't hear me gagging. Later, as an RN, I worked along side with one of them and told him the story and he laughed and laughed and didn't even remember it at all!

A few years later, I was working in an ambulatory surgery area that also did other outpatient procedures as well. Had a very sweet little lady with megacolon and would come in for impaction removal frequently. Another nurse and I were both taking care of her and were giving her a break and the nurse and I were both eating some cake from someone's birthday. My college remarked only nurses would be able to remove an impaction and then immediately go eat chocolate cake and not think a thing about it. You will get used to it!

ICUNurseG · Mar 4, 2014

Honestly, the people that come in scared are the good ones. Not to sound harsh, but as nurses we should be scared. We have peoples lives in our hands. I can't think of anything more stressful than that. New nurses that come in and are over confident are the ones that scare me.

I say all this but I promise it gets better. You will get more comfortable with what you do. Just look up everything you don't know and never be afraid to ask for help. When you graduate start somewhere with good nurses that will help you and make sure it's a place that supports learning. If it doesn't then leave.

Good luck to you and you should do fine :)

aviaa · Mar 4, 2014

I feel the same way...I am afraid that I would accidentally kill someone by making a mistake. It is comforting to hear the replies that this feeling is normal. I am a new grad still looking for a job. I guess we can just do the best job we can and be cautious nurses. ?

ward81 · Mar 4, 2014

Thank you for all of the replies, and words of advice. I appreciate the feedback. I guess I will just have stick it out and hope that over time my confidence grows, and I become a little more at ease.

SHGR, MSN, RN, CNS · Mar 4, 2014

Yup, that's why we have three-label check (has caught many errors before they happened!), nurses and RPh go over chemo orders together, double-check MAR, narc count, all kinds of systems of checks and balances.

Reporting near-misses helps fix systems that could lead to errors, too.

Stay conscientious. :)