Affirmative action for single mothers?

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Like most places, the competition to get into nursing programs is huge where I live. I met a woman in one of my classes who told me she has been accepted at the community college, and the U of --. Problem is, the wait list here for the CC is up to 3 years. She told me how she got into the U of --. She said to me, you have to have something special about yourself. I asked her, what do you mean? So she said "I got in because I'm a single mother." So I said to her, "I bet you have a really good GPA. I know the average GPA for those accepted is 3.7. Maybe you are underestimating how much you impressed the interviewers." She looks at me and rolls her eyes and says "My GPA isn't near that. They let me in because I'm a single mother." How do you know that I asked. She says "the professors both told me that I was being admitted expressly because I'm a single mother which makes life harder for me."

Excuse me? I have to admit this pisses me off! I used both the pill and a condom when I was out there to be careful...and she gets in because she's a single, never married mother? I can see if she got in on her own merits, then they chose to give her a full waiver on tuition to compensate for the difficulty of being a single mother. That sounds reasonable to me. But to admit her because of this?! Oh, and she's now pregnant again with #3. She's 22 years old. Never married. I am not trying to make judgments on those who have never been married and are single mothers. I just don't think you should get admitted to a nursing program because of it! Am I in left field here? What do you all think.

Multi, try not to let this deter you. People get in or not for all types of unexplained reasons! I just want to know how someone who is pregnant can be in the program? Won't she be out for a few weeks at least?? :uhoh3:

And she maybe "special" in her own little world. Don't believe everything she says.

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Good grades should be the ONLY thing that gets a student into the program of his/her choice and nothing else.

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Nursing school goes soooo much better when you start worrying about yourself and not everyone around you...I can't begin to tell you of all the times I heard "wild" stories come out of misinformation from other nursing students. If I haven't heard if from the lips of my profs or the dept. it's just a rumor.

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Specializes in 5 yrs OR, ASU Pre-Op 2 yr. ER.
If I haven't heard if from the lips of my profs or the dept. it's just a rumor.

Even then you can't always believe it.

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:angryfire :angryfire :angryfire

First, let me qualify everything that follows by stating:

1. I have 2 children from my first husband that have no idea who he is or this child support people speak of.

2. My lovely ex-husband drifted in & out of our lives for a few years, while I supported him, his mother, myself and our children.

3. I am now with my soul mate and a SAHM to his, hers, and ours - 5 kids.

4. He works everday and takes care of all of us financially. I am blessed.

I will say this very clearly because I want the entire world to understand what I'm saying, TAKING CARE OF YOUR RESPONSIBILITIES IS NOT AN ACCOMPLISHMENT, IT IS EXPECTED. I'm not sure how everyone else got pregnant, but I'm pretty sure I know how I did and it was my choice. I created these responsibilities and I have to care for them. I abhor the thought of people using their children as proof of their ability to "accomplish" something. Taking care of your children and providing them with everything they need is your duty. This is not a job that provides pats on the back or atta-girls.

The people that call it a "hardship" drive me crazy. Yes, I went without dinner so that my kids didn't, yes, I still have some of the clothes I wore in the 90's because I'd rather buy things for my kids, yes, I make sacrifices. THAT IS THE CHOICE I MADE when I made those kids.

A true hardship is something that make life difficult to get through by the normal channels. Living life in a world designed for walkers in a hardship for those confined to a wheelchair.

When I receive my acceptance to the nursing program in March (:smiley_aa )

I will know that I was accepted into the program because of my true accomplishments, not because I chose to have children.

If I seem a little harsh, I'm sorry. I just get so enraged....... Like multi said, my sob story is impressive too, but I don't need a crutch to limp through life.

I truly do not mean to offend anyone. I'm really quite nice once you get to know me!

:D

mo bello

You are awesome!!!:) I totally agree!!!!! People seem to want to get a pat on the back for everything that they are SUPPOSED to do. It's nice to finally see someone say this instead of pussyfooting around. Now days it seems we are all *expected* to be politically correct and not hurt anyone's fragile little feelings by saying what we really think. I find myself censoring what I really feel just so I don't inadvertently offend.

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Specializes in Acute Care Psych, DNP Student.
I just think it depends on whether someone is using it as a "poor me" sorry or if someone is using it to demonstrate what they have accomplished. Many interviews (jobs or school) involve questions regarding how the interviewee has dealt with a difficult situation. Someone who is a single mother may say "Well, having children on my own and taking all the prereqs at once was challenging, but I have a good support system and managed my time wisely by....". In that case, it's about selling yourself not whining.

I am new to academia. So if I need to adjust my expectations, I'm open. I owned my own business for years. I was an insurance broker for 9 years. This was before I lost everything last year (sob story!) which explains my other thread about why I have to get financial aid and my woes. Anyway, what I'm getting at is let's consider your interview question. "How have you dealt with a difficult situation?" In my experience, you limit your answers to how you excelled in a difficult situation in a professional, work or academic setting. Harsh as it may sound, if I were interviewing an applicant to be a sub-agent for me (as I used to) and they answered this question with personal information I'd want to hurl:rotfl: . I'd find it unprofessional. I'm glad as a person with a heart that she's able to take care of her children with no child support and that she has child care but ya know I'm not her shrink. This is about who's most qualified and who will perform. I'd rather hear someone say something like: "I decided to cut a semester off of my program so I studied and CLEP'd 3 courses in addition to my regular full time course load." Now that's impressive. Or "In organic chemistry my instructor didn't speak English very well and canceled 1/4 of the classes. My lab partner got frustrated and refused to do any work. I was determined to achieve an A so I did, and here's how I did it despite all the challenges and my lack of easy aptitude for the subject matter." Now that is impressive.

I find bringing your personal life as justification to be hired, into your interview to be unprofessional. When I interviewed people and they did this, unless they shined in other ways to eclipse their unprofessional answer, I didn't hire them.

Would an engineering student answer the question this way with the single mother/course load response? If so why or why not? Would a pre-med student answer the question this way? Why or why not? Or do we accept this in nursing because it's a primarily female occupation and girls do chat?

I cannot fathom the single mother/course load question flying in the real world.

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I am new to academia. So if I need to adjust my expectations, I'm open. I owned my own business for years. I was an insurance broker for 9 years. This was before I lost everything last year (sob story!) which explains my other thread about why I have to get financial aid and my woes. Anyway, what I'm getting at is let's consider your interview question. "How have you dealt with a difficult situation?" In my experience, you limit your answers to how you excelled in a difficult situation in a professional, work or academic setting. Harsh as it may sound, if I were interviewing an applicant to be a sub-agent for me (as I used to) and they answered this question with personal information I'd want to hurl:rotfl: . I'd find it unprofessional. .

I understand that perception as a business owner, but what you have to realize is that admission to schools is different. Many of the people they interview have little to no professional experience. What is an 18 year old new high school graduate going to say about her work experience if she doesn't have any? She might be able to come up with something about high school, but she might not. If a personal situation really relates to the general question, it isn't a necessarily a problem. And in this case, it was clearly not viewed as unprofessional by the interviewers or she wouldn't have been admitted. In the end, your view of professionalism isn't what matters, since you are at the low end of the nursing totem pole right now. It's the interviewers that get the final word on that. I know that's frustrating, but it is what it is.

I've interviewed a lot (and never not been offered a job thanks in part to the nursing shortage I'm sure) and when they want only work examples, they will usually specifically say "Tell me about a time you dealt with a difficult person in your previous job..." or something like that because I am interviewing for a job afterall. As a nurse with lots of work experience at several different hospitals I would always answer with a work related scenario even if they didnt, but chances are a 22 year old mother of 3 interviewing for school doesn't have the same amount of professional experiences to draw from. Don't be surprised if you get some questions that relate to your personal life and personality like "What made you choose to go into nursing?" or "What characteristics do you think make a good nurse?". It's hard to find a work or academia related answer to something like that and I'm sure many people would have very personal answers like "I was so inspired by the nurses I saw take care of my mother...".

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Specializes in Acute Care Psych, DNP Student.

Good points. For the 18 year olds, I think they could bring up volunteer experience, or discipline for good grades, etc. I can see questions like why do you want to be a nurse, etc which touch on personal info. I'm not to the point of fathoming why it is acceptable for a single mother to answer the question by explaining children and course load. I'm used to fixed answers regarding qualifications and performance. I know I'm new to academia though. Mulling your points.

I still don't think it would be acceptible for an engineering student to answer this way, which makes me wonder if this is a female career field difference. BTW I am female.

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. Or "In organic chemistry my instructor didn't speak English very well and canceled 1/4 of the classes. My lab partner got frustrated and refused to do any work. I was determined to achieve an A so I did, and here's how I did it despite all the challenges and my lack of easy aptitude for the subject matter." Now that is impressive.

.

See, I would find that answer to be completely unimpressive. To me that sounds like just whining about other people which I find very unprofessional. Plus, complaining about an instructor to other instructors never seems like a good idea to me. People see things differently.

BTW, I have a very untraditional medical student as a friend. She started med school the year after her daughter finished and is currently doing her residency in family practice. She certainly did mention her personal life in the interview. How could she not? People wonder why a 50year old is applying to school at that age, so she just said she had always wanted to go but was widowed as a young mother and only recently became able to. It obviously didn't hurt her because she was accepted into a very competitive program.

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Specializes in Acute Care Psych, DNP Student.

You are absolutely correct about the made-up organic chem answer. I was again thinking of a job interview, not an interview with an instructor. I need to get job interview etiquette out of my head (for now).

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You are absolutely correct about the made-up organic chem answer. I was again thinking of a job interview, not an interview with an instructor. I need to get job interview etiquette out of my head (for now).

:chuckle It's a different world:chuckle

Personally, I wouldn't even say something like that for a job interview. I never want the interviewer to think I would talk about their hospital like that when I go to my next job:uhoh21: My aunt does interviews for her hospital and she's made me paranoid because even most good answers have a bad interpretation. I'm sure she'd also say pointing out someone else refused to do something shows an inability to negotiate well with others.

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Specializes in Acute Care Psych, DNP Student.

I don't think I'd give that answer if I were in the same state as the school. And I might word it differently. I was just thinking off the top of my head.

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