Accused Of Not Being A Team Player-Have You?

Nurses Relations

Published

So I left my full time ED position and went per-diem alittle over a year ago to explore another job opportunity. I was and still am very thankful for having worked in the ED and felt like it has really propelled me into being the nurse that I am.

Recently I saw a position in the same ED and applied to it. The ANM calls me and schedules an interview which I go in today for. I see the ANM just to let her know I'm here she then says she told the NM to just bring me back FT and that she put in a good word for me. She then calls the NM to find out where she was and says to her did you call all4nursing last week??... oh you didn't... guess you forgot. Then she turned back to me and says wait by her office she's coming.

Finally...the NM comes in (45 min late) but I didn't make a fuss because I know these people, I still work there PD and I know how busy they can be.

She comes in and right off the bat says.. ok All4nursing I was going to call you but I figured it's better to talk to you in person (I'm thinking to myself... ok.. what does that mean?)

She then says she asked around from both the ANM's and some of my colleagues what they felt about me coming back and that the general consensus was that I was not a team player. My heart literally dropped because I have never.. ever had anyone say that I was not a team player in all my 8 years as a nurse. I then say well I've had good evaluations and I always help whenever I can.

She then says don't take it negatively, just think of it as constructive criticism. So now with tears welling in my eyes because this is truly left field. I say that I am shocked because anytime help was asked of me I gave it. And that I could remember many instances where I helped my collegeaus.

She then says no...no don't take it personally all4nursing because the few I asked said they all liked you as a person but that you were only focused on your work???? She never brought up any issues with my skills or competency only that a few people she asked said similar things. She does not give any details or examples beyond that.

I was stunned. I am the most humble, peaceful, non-trouble-making, keep my head down, smiles at everyone sort of employee, and that is not only by my own opinion but many of my co-workers have said the same about me, that I'm easygoing, helpful, and nice to work with. If anything the reason why I left there is because favoritism and nepotism was rampant and had caused the resignation of a few other nurses and Docs as well. I wasn't a favorite because I guess I didn't chummy up to the ANM's. I just kept my head down and worked as hard as possible even when they were giving their favorites the better assignments and etc... I still never even complained and still offered help to everyone equally even as me and a few other nurses continously got the worst assignments. I never even had a personal vendetta against even one of my colleagues.

She then says she has 5 former nurses (me being one) and only 3 positions left. She then said she only had part-time positions left (I thought it was odd that she brought this very important piece of info up towards the end of the convo) then said it would be better for me to take a part-time nights position and work up to full-time by working days and evenings since I am contemplating school and don't have children. She also said that I probably would be making the same anyway working in the ED part-time rotating shifts as my current job. She also asked if I was currently working, if my current manager knew I was leaving and get this... she asked me how come I still had their work ID? To which I told her I never left I was per-diem. This woman has known me for 3 years now and doesn't even remember that I went per-diem. I felt a bit offended that she was trying to force a part-time position on me while trying to convince me that it would work out financially and that I could always wait for a full-time position to open up while working all 3 shifts to make up full-time.

I just feel disgusted because this is where I learned everything I know as an RN, and even defended and commended staff & nursing admin even when other staff members were saying nothing but negative about this same manager and other ANMs. I've turned a blind eye to alot of the obvious favoritism & nepotism of the place ...yet I'm the one who wasn't a team player?

I could've handled anything else she said like maybe I wasn't the brightest or fastest or most assertive (which btw I never had a problem with, evaluations were always good. Only had 1 write up in 3 years) but not being a team player???? That is the farthest from the truth and I couldn't help feel that I was being told a lie because they wanted to give someone else the position and felt because I was still employed elsewhere and because I chose to leave and now want to come back that they're playing hardball. I just had to vent, I'm so sickened by all of it.

Specializes in Med/surg, Tele, educator, FNP.

I'm not surprised! With the over abundance of nurses now, she can afford to lose you. I'm sorry to say this is the norm everywhere. Literally begging for even a noc position for an experienced nurse was not heard of before! Now when moving into a new position you are literally a new person there who cares about your experience! Sad to say I'm in a similar boat. Good luck

Specializes in Critical Care, Education.

GRRRRRR just GRRRRRRR

How nasty. That manager's response really got my hackles up. For one thing, why in the world does she assume that parenthood is a deciding factor when it comes to shift work??? This is a violation of FEDERAL law. That bozo needs to be reported to HR for even making such a remark.

The whole 'teamwork' thing doesn't really fly. ED - like ICU - is an area in which self-reliance is prized. Of course, we do pitch in and help one another when the chips are down, but it is certainly not the norm. You need confidence in your own abilities. Anyone who second-guess him/herself or 'crowd-sources' before making a decision will never develop expertise in these settings.

"Team Player"..... bah humbug. Using a team sports analogy, ED is basketball - not football and certainly not (yawn) baseball. You have to move fast; maintain awareness of where everyone else is, but make independent decisions and never hesitate and wait for someone else when you need to move.

Honestly, 'team player' has always felt like a pejorative term to me - LOL. I know it will bite for a while, but you need to scrape her off. Maintain radio silence & look for a job in a setting that is more conducive to your own work style.

Specializes in Addictions/Mental Health, Telemetry.

I'm sorry this has happened to you. It seems like it is time for you to look elsewhere for work because this group of nurses is definitely not "your people". I learned this phrase some time back (maybe on Oprah) about knowing when you are in sync with a group of coworkers. Although you may have been proficient in your work, by your own admission, you were not a "favorite". I can speak of this because this happened to me when I trained for the ICU. Everybody was friends with each other, and then there was me. Try as I might, I was never let into that "clique". And that is what it is, a "clique". So dust yourself off and go find "your people". I finally did.

Thanks guys! I mean we all have blinders on to certain attitudes or faults we may have as human beings, that may need pointing out by others (which is what she was trying to say). But accusing me of not being a team player would be like accusing mother teresa of cheating the poor or something. I literally said to her I don't know how much more helpful I could've been besides neglecting my patients and helping someone elses with theres (of course I said it in nicer words) but I have literally taken a patient away from one of my fellow nurses (who btw never helps anyone) because I only had 3 stable patients and she had like 6 and was complaining, you cannot get more team-player-ish than that!!!!!!

I felt like it was a case of ''oh you want us back now that you went to work at that fancy place'' nope you're not getting it back that easy.

Too bad I'm still per-diem there so I can partake in the foolishness when I choose to, a luxury they full-timers don't have.

Oh and get this she even asked my why I wanted to come back there when I couldve gone to another ED with less patients and etc... I probably looked at her like a deer in headlights because in this city all ED's are functioning the same. Overcroweded and overworked. I couldn't believe she would even allude to anything negative about the hospital. Sad.

You are right Lisala. When I first started there I was lets say invited to be part of the group (we were all very young new RNs) and yes I did hang out with them and etc... but I know how messy that could be so I just tried to keep it professional. I mean the ANM's, RNs and MD would all hang out outside of work which was great we all got along well but then the favoritism and kissing up started and I excused myself from all of that and kept it neutral especially when gossip became rampant. I was always a spectator and not a player. I continued to be in great terms with everyone, but I didn't move into the inner circle by choice, and mostly stayed around the non-favorite but very good nurses. I'm not surprised that they weren't crazy eager to restore me to FT. I am just saddened and shocked that even the NM would buy into the foolishness and spin lies.

I am actually pretty confident of why they people she asked think I'm a non-team player and without her even saying, I'm sure of who she asked too. I used to work there, I know the personalities. I think they think that of me because when I left over a year ago I did so quietly and only told certain people and I think some took it the wrong way, especially after I showed up a few weeks later as a per-diem I got some eyerolls.... as if to say you didn't tell me you were leaving and oh you work at such and such a fancy place now? I know the personalities, I just didn't think they'd actually overlook a proven great worker just because of a personal slight.

I'm sorry this has happened to you. It seems like it is time for you to look elsewhere for work because this group of nurses is definitely not "your people". I learned this phrase some time back (maybe on Oprah) about knowing when you are in sync with a group of coworkers. Although you may have been proficient in your work, by your own admission, you were not a "favorite". I can speak of this because this happened to me when I trained for the ICU. Everybody was friends with each other, and then there was me. Try as I might, I was never let into that "clique". And that is what it is, a "clique". So dust yourself off and go find "your people". I finally did.
Specializes in Oncology; medical specialty website.

Please don't take this the wrong way, but when I saw your name as the OP of this thread, the first thing I thought of was that it seemed you'd had quite a bit of conflict over the years in your jobs. I even went to your profile to double check that I wasn't confusing you with someone else.

You've been offered the opportunity to work into a full-time status. If you really want to work there, consider it a chance to start with a clean slate. It stings to hear that your colleagues don't consider you a team player, but think about what you've been told carefully. Is there any possibility that there's some truth to this feedback (even if it was delivered clumsily)?

I'm not criticising you...I don't know you or your work ethic. I'm just going by your post and thread history. In any case, I wish you the best and hope you find a place where you are happy and can use your skills and experience to the full.

Specializes in Emergency & Trauma/Adult ICU.

I'm sorry that you're finding yourself in this bind, but I recall you posting about issues when you worked before in this ER.

Hoping you find a position that is everything that you want.

Specializes in Critical Care.

It is always a risk leaving one job for another usually in search of something better. It doesn't always turn out as we hoped and there is no guarantee the old job will take you back. But considering the interview and your own personal history it seems like you would be better off looking elsewhere for a job. Sounds like the clique and favoritism are still there. I wouldn't take the part-time job esp as they accused you of not being a team player. It is ironic they claim this of you, but are still willing to give you a job, albeit they are offering you the scraps and saving the best job for someone else they prefer more.

I've seen many nurses leave and then want to come back because they discover it is worse elsewhere. If they are lucky and liked by their old manager they get their job back, but sometimes they are turned down. Also if you did get a job back it may not be what you had before as they already gave your job to someone else in the meantime. I've seen nurses take night shift just to get back into the old hospital and then eventually be able to get a day job when a position opens up. So anytime you quit a job you are taking a risk.

As much as I dislike cliques it is really in a person's best interest to stay on the good side of your coworkers and esp your managers as they are the ones with the power to hire and fire! One nurse I personally disliked was a pro at making friends with management and maintained relationships even after leaving as in regular phone contact and even going out to lunch occasionally. I can't imagine being that close to my manager. Well guess what when she needed a job change all it took was a phone call to an old boss to get her old job back. She was a networking pro!

Also it is a good idea to have a backup plan like you have done by working per diem and keeping your foot in the door. Some people advocate keeping two jobs at different facilities for maximum job security and financial flexibility, but not everyone has the time or energy to do that. Kudos to you for doing that and remember you are in a good situation having both jobs it gives you the ability to hold out for a better job and not take the first offer. I wouldn't take the crumbs of the part-time job. You are well situated having two jobs and can afford to wait for a better opportunity!

Thanks for your responses altar and ocrn Yes I have previously posted about issues in the ED I worked in. Every nurse has an issue with where they work, no place is perfect, and all nurses is a place for nurses to express their feelings about their work environment. That being said besides the thread I made expressing a complaint about one other nurse I worked with, I have never had any personal issues with anyone else I worked with. I always self reflect when someone makes criticism of me. Which I can tell you has not been much over my years of being a nurse. Just because I disliked my work environment does not necessarily mean the problem was with me, in fact my anm at the time gave me an excellent recommendation to my current job and the previous ED head manager approved me going per diem which she didn't have to. I have worked there for 3 years and was always told by both my coworkers and management that I was great to work with, one of the anms even said he was impressed by me and proud so while I understand you have seen me post before please do not make any assumptions based off one or two previous threads where I was simply expressing my frustrations work situations every nurse faces, thank you.

My frustration now is that i was the quietest most unassuming, get in and work and did all that was asked of me and more, that is why i was very surprised as if my clean 2 year full time track record was less important than what a few peopke thought of me, with of course no examples to back the claim up. I believe someone else needed the job more in their eyes and she had to tell me something.

Thank you so much brandy! Yes I am greatful to my old NM for letting me go per diem. It is a very clique-y environment but is a good hospital and no pun intended but everyone did work together fairly well. Guess I didn't smooze enough.

It is always a risk leaving one job for another usually in search of something better. It doesn't always turn out as we hoped and there is no guarantee the old job will take you back. But considering the interview and your own personal history it seems like you would be better off looking elsewhere for a job. Sounds like the clique and favoritism are still there. I wouldn't take the part-time job esp as they accused you of not being a team player. It is ironic they claim this of you, but are still willing to give you a job, albeit they are offering you the scraps and saving the best job for someone else they prefer more.

I've seen many nurses leave and then want to come back because they discover it is worse elsewhere. If they are lucky and liked by their old manager they get their job back, but sometimes they are turned down. Also if you did get a job back it may not be what you had before as they already gave your job to someone else in the meantime. I've seen nurses take night shift just to get back into the old hospital and then eventually be able to get a day job when a position opens up. So anytime you quit a job you are taking a risk.

As much as I dislike cliques it is really in a person's best interest to stay on the good side of your coworkers and esp your manager as they are the ones with the power to hire and fire! One nurse I personally disliked was a pro at making friends with management and maintained relationships even after leaving as in regular phone contact and even going out to lunch occasionally. I can't imagine being that close to my manager. Well guess what when she needed a job change all it took was a phone call to an old boss to get her old job back. She was a networking pro!

Also it is a good idea to have a backup plan like you have done by working per diem and keeping your foot in the door. Some people advocate keeping two jobs at different facilities for maximum job security and financial flexibility, but not everyone has the time or energy to do that. Kudos to you for doing that and remember you are in a good situation having both jobs it gives you the ability to hold out for a better job and not take the first offer. I wouldn't take the crumbs of the part-time job. You are well situated having two jobs and can afford to wait for a better opportunity!

"I felt a bit offended that she was trying to force a part-time position on me"

No, feel a lot offended. This manager is a MAJOR player. Needs midnight staff and is willing to mess with your mind to get it.

Struck a blow to your heart with the team player bs first... then went for the jugular.

Please.. just tell her to stuff it.

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