Accepting aging and disability

dream'n, BSN, RN · Feb 17, 2015

I live in an area where we have a warm climate in the winter and that has a large influx of the elderly during those months. I have seen very sad stories of couples that can't care for themselves, living together in their winter home without any family/friends around. When one goes down hill the other spouse has no close-by support. Although, occasionally both of the spouses are pretty demented and you wonder how in the world they live on their own. Seen some heartbreaking stories of spouses alone in this area after the other spouse has a severe CVA and will forever more be unable to return to their longstanding Northern community; mostly where their children/grandchildren/life-long friends are.

classicdame, MSN, EdD · Feb 17, 2015

I suppose no one likes to think they will never be independent. And the baby boomers (me too!) are all about personal freedom. But it seems to me that once you accept the challenge of being dependent you accept that you are in the dying process. No wonder people put it off.

Jules A, MSN · Feb 17, 2015

How sad and bound to get worse as our population continues to love longer.

Libby1987 · Feb 17, 2015

How sad and bound to get worse as our population continues to love longer.

I was thinking we might not be living longer. Not with the incidence of type 2 and now heart disease in kids. Someone posted about their LTC patient caseload, out of all of the patients he/she was responsible for, 22 needed finger sticks. That had to be at least half, right?

nurseprnRN, BSN, RN · Feb 18, 2015

As one of those thus unprepared (and married to another), I can tell you that it's not for lack of knowledge, forethought, or caring. Since what was laughingly known as my retirement account dropped 60% in the late unpleasantness and the home equity is almost maxed out, we have decided that even with the LTC insurance (which costs me a fortune), the best thing is to avoid any treatment for anything that might possibly kill us.

Jules A, MSN · Feb 18, 2015

As one of those thus unprepared (and married to another), I can tell you that it's not for lack of knowledge, forethought, or caring. Since what was laughingly known as my retirement account dropped 60% in the late unpleasantness and the home equity is almost maxed out, we have decided that even with the LTC insurance (which costs me a fortune), the best thing is to avoid any treatment for anything that might possibly kill us.

But without solid documentation refusing treatment unfortunately you are likely to end up getting it.

nurseprnRN, BSN, RN · Feb 18, 2015

Fortunately, we know this better than most. Documentation is cheap, and in our house, abundant.

CTnewgrad826 · Feb 18, 2015

During our admission process we always ask if the patient has an advance directive and it's very surprising to me that 99% of the older population doesn't even know what that is. I feel like we're in an era that pushes people to be prepared for worse case scenarios. I know my parents have a living will, advance directives, a planned POA if the time comes when they need one, etc., etc. I guess I'm misinformed in that area or the baby boomers just were never pushed to be as prepared for life threatening situations as today's generations are.

As for financials, I can understand why one would not be as prepared in this category, especially in this economy. Plus I can't think of anyone that wants to get older and end up in a nursing home. If and when older adults get to that stage of their life it takes time to adjust to the idea of moving into one and often times it's too late by that point. Not enough money, insurance won't cover it, they're too sick, they're not sick enough... It's a crazy crazy business-run world we live in.

OCNRN63, RN · Feb 18, 2015

As one of those thus unprepared (and married to another), I can tell you that it's not for lack of knowledge, forethought, or caring. Since what was laughingly known as my retirement account dropped 60% in the late unpleasantness and the home equity is almost maxed out, we have decided that even with the LTC insurance (which costs me a fortune), the best thing is to avoid any treatment for anything that might possibly kill us.

It's funny you said that, because I was just thinking, I will let my cancer kill me before I go into a nursing home. I can't think of a more horrid existence than being stuck in a home.

OCNRN63, RN · Feb 18, 2015

But without solid documentation refusing treatment unfortunately you are likely to end up getting it.

I have everything documented down to the Nth degree, and I keep a copy of that documentation in my purse, just for good measure. My parents have it, my doctor has it, my lawyer has it.

Esme12, ASN, BSN, RN · Feb 18, 2015

As one of those thus unprepared (and married to another), I can tell you that it's not for lack of knowledge, forethought, or caring. Since what was laughingly known as my retirement account dropped 60% in the late unpleasantness and the home equity is almost maxed out, we have decided that even with the LTC insurance (which costs me a fortune), the best thing is to avoid any treatment for anything that might possibly kill us.

I am in the same spot as GrnTea....like many my age.....the latest debacle in 2008 essentially wiped us out. We have equity in our house but I would rather be 6 feet under ground then in a LTC. I have explicit terms all legally taken care of and my daughter has promised me that she would move with me to Oregon if I ever had to make that decision. End of story.