A Nurse's Life, Now With Open Eyes

[TrudyRN]

I just read "Nursing Against The Odds". :uhoh21:

I finally see that my unhappiness, my frustrations are not nearly

all my fault. I have been a victim of the age-old disrespect and maltreatment heaped upon women and upon nurses by Admin

types and by doctors from way back. :angryfire:madface:

I feel I have wasted my life by having stayed in Nursing, although I know I have been a very good nurse, have positively influenced students, have helped many patients and families, have supported

my family and myself, have been a good citizen, and have prepared

for retirement as best I could. :thankya:

I see that my frequent job boredom, thus frequent job changes, does not lie completely with me. It is the circumstances under which I've had to work that have eroded my happiness and my confidence, not to mention limited my pay and curtailed my productivity in general life.

What a sap I have been!

Now, what to do about it. I'm stuck for a while because of finances and retirement issues. I feel I must continue where I am until the time I can retire. It is not a pleasant feeling. But I sure have some plans on how I will spend my life after that! :balloons: :biggringi :smiletea: :smiley_aa

Do any of you feel this way?

What is wrong with us that we stay in these abusive situations? Of course, a lot of us don't. We get out of Nursing altogether or we find jobs that don't endanger us, our patients, or our licenses and all that we have worked so hard for so long to achieve.

My hat is off to nurses :pumpiron:who lead the way in developing staffing ratios, in getting rid of mandatory OT, in making conditions tolerable for themselves and safe for patients, and who strive :smiley_abto develop collegial relationships with physicians and Admin, to replace the outmoded, paternal, often evil relationships we have traditionally had with them, although I personally have had mostly decent relationships with doctors and bosses - as best I recall, anyway.

I recommend this book to anyone who wants to know what nurses and nursing are about.

[RPN_2006]

I have been nursing for seven months. I worked, as all others did, like a dog to get here.

This week I interviewed for a position at my previous place of employment, non-nursing.

I am not a failure.

This is not new grad jitters.

I can't imagine consigning myself to this misery for an entire career.

My nerves are shot.

I will dearly miss patient care.

Thank-you for your post Trudy.

Angela Flynn RPN

[Little Panda RN, ASN, RN]

I completely understand how you both feel. I have been in the medical field since 1994 most of those as a medical assistant and the last year as an LPN. I left nursing in May of this year. The reason being I did not realize how unhappy I was but my health did. I could not see it but my husband, family and friends would always comment about how unhappy I was. I loved taking care of patients for the most part, but I could do without the doctors attitudes towards nurses. I internalized everything and my health started to show it.

I am now managing a retail store and loving it. I am finally in control of my surroundings. As much control as one can have in any job. I feel better, look better and am much happier.

There is alot I miss about nursing and so much more that I dont.

[SuesquatchRN, BSN, RN]

If we didn't need the benefits I would quit so quickly you head would spin.

One year into it.

[RNperdiem, RN]

As I was driving through the farms and fields of the South where I live, I thought about the slaves. All those generations of people whose lives were lived chopping cane or picking tobacco. Year after year in those fields living at a subsistence level. They had no other options, no freedom to change.

People today do have the option to change their lives and careers. Community colleges have waiting lists of people changing careers.

Does nursing sound a little better? We really do make a difference to people, even if they do not understand.

[hellerd2003, RN]

I haven't read "Nursing Against the Odds", so I can't comment on the book. But my experiences of nursing as a profession are different than those posting thus far. I in no means attempt to negate the experiences posted; rather, I just want to add my own.

I'm not a person who is in their first career as an RN. I left what most would call a comfortable/ "easy" job (flexible hours, office environment, casual dress, time to play Yahoo Gin and get paid for it, etc.) for the chance to be an RN. I finished nursing school, landed a job in critical care for my first position, and have been there ever since.

Yes, doctors can be dinks. Yes, administration can ignore our needs. Yes, nurses can backstab and be petty. Yes, our union does nothing to protect us (to the point that I'm thinking about un-enrolling in the union-- why pay for something that doesn't help me?).

But . . . there are things in this profession that make, and keep, me happy. When my patient tells the oncoming nurse, "I miss my other nurse!", that's cool. When a patient that everyone counts out rallies and gets better, that is fantastic! When I am able to comfort a family member of a dying patient and make a difference, I know why I'm in this line of work. Do I leave my 12-hour shifts feeling like crap, exhausted and emotionally/ physically drained? Absolutely. But do I also derive pleasure from knowing that, in some small way, I made a difference? Yes. That makes it worthwhile.

--Heather

[leslie :-D]

Yes, doctors can be dinks. Yes, administration can ignore our needs. Yes, nurses can backstab and be petty. Yes, our union does nothing to protect us (to the point that I'm thinking about un-enrolling in the union-- why pay for something that doesn't help me?).

But . . . there are things in this profession that make, and keep, me happy. When my patient tells the oncoming nurse, "I miss my other nurse!", that's cool. When a patient that everyone counts out rallies and gets better, that is fantastic! When I am able to comfort a family member of a dying patient and make a difference, I know why I'm in this line of work. Do I leave my 12-hour shifts feeling like crap, exhausted and emotionally/ physically drained? Absolutely. But do I also derive pleasure from knowing that, in some small way, I made a difference? Yes. That makes it worthwhile.

--Heather

i don't think there is a nurse out there, who doesn't appreciate the successes and appreciative gestures of our pts.

but dirty politics, contemptuous environments, impossible staffing ratios, demanding acuity levels, relentless horse-whipping all take its' toll.

eventually, even a seemingly minor infarction produces irreparable burnout.

not all nurses are continually exposed to the aforementioned.

but for those who are, it's time to hang your hat.

my heart goes out to those who leave nursing feeling battered and useless.

what is wrong with this picture???

leslie

[llg, PhD, RN]

Now, what to do about it. .

How about working to improve the situation so that the profession can flourish and humanity can receive good nursing care?

Perhaps the types of jobs you have been seeking are the wrong types of jobs for you. Perhaps you should leave nursing altogether. But maybe, there are other types of nursing career paths -- ones dedicated to helping nurses, or ones in a completely different role or setting -- that could build on your nursing skills to improve the situation in some way.

I certainly don't know your job history or the specifics of your situation. But I have seen many, many nurses on this site discuss their unhappiness with nursing. When they talk about their previous jobs, they all sound alike to me. They change jobs -- but always move to a job very similar to the job they just left -- jobs with the same problems that caused them to leave their old job. It's as if they fail to learn from their past experiences and keep making the same mistakes in choosing a new job.

Have you tried a variety of types of nursing in a variety of differnet settings? Or have your jobs all been pretty similar to each other?

Good luck to you with whatever you decide to do with your life.

[tencat]

I wonder HOW the system/work environment could be fixed so that nurses could actually enjoy the work they do. I wonder if we charged for our services the way doctors and ancillary staff such as PT do if that would help matters. We're in such a bad position because we are needed by hospitals, but they don't see us as valuable because we don't bring in any revenue. Just a thought.

[**All Heart RN**]

To all of the previous posters that are considering leaving Nursing, please, please, please, help me understand...

I am in no way judging anyone for their career choices or life choices but I just want to gain a better undrstanding from those nurses who are disgusted or exhausted (or both) with their working conditions (unsafe staffing, hostility from management, doctors and even other nurses, long hours, unequal pay for the work that is done)---

Why not explore other career paths within Nursing? When I first decided to go back to school for Nursing (after receiving a different degree) and researched all of the many, many paths and fields that Nurses work in, I was utterly amazed! There are nurses who work for insurance companies, Nurses who own their own businesses and are independent contractors, nurses who have obtained their Master's degree and even doctoral degrees and are advanced practice Nurses (for example, Clinical Nurse Specialists, Nurse Practitioners, CRNAs), Nurses who are pharmaceutical reps. My aunt has been a nurse for over 20 years and was fed up with bedside nursing...she tried working with management to improve conditions, joined several committees to address issues facing bedside nurses but nothing changed....so, she left. She went back to school, has her Master's in Nursing and in Business Administration and works with the County's Health Department in Chicago and oversees health practices in various types of nursing facilities.

I have spoken with so many bedside nurses that are exhausted with their working conditions and are thinking about leaving nursing and I ask them the same question-

What about all of the other millions of opportunities that Nurses have?

By the way, my aunt who is a nurse went back to school as a single mother of 2 boys, at the age of 45...it can be done...where there's a will, there's a way!

[emmycRN]

I too have read the book, and spoken with the author in a question and answer discussion group. I have GREAT respect for her, and gratitude that she takes up our cause with such passion. I think EVERY nurse should read this book. Surprisingly though, most of the other nurses who participated in the discussion group with her were very critical of her work. Seems we are sometimes our own worst enemy.

[VivaRN]

I have also read "Nursing Against the Odds", but the book helped keep me IN nursing because I understood more about where we came from and how certain attitudes develop. The first step towards change is awareness.

We know how valuable we are. We need to learn how to convince the "powers that be" of that value. Most nurses would be more than happy just to have the tools (ie, staffing) to do their jobs. Why is this such a mystery?

Maybe I should quit bedside and go into consulting!