A nurse who might have found god..

SE_BSN_RN, BSN · May 18, 2014

I assure you....you are not the first person to feel this way, believer or not. (((HUGS)))

NurseGirl525, ASN, RN · May 18, 2014

I am much like you. I question all of the time. I was raised going to church every Sunday and attending Sunday School. I went through my first communion and confirmation. When I was older I taught Sunday school and led the youth group at my church. But then my grandmother was stricken with cancer. Her and I were close growing up. She was always there for me. The last time I was in church was on Ash Wednesday. I went to the noon service and she was there. It was weird that we happened to pick the same service because where I am from Ash Wednesday services run all day so you have a chance to go in and get the ashes on your head. We sat there together and it was a beautiful experience. But she died less than a year later and I was devastated. I always asked if God is all knowing and wonderful how could he have let her suffer at the end? It was at that point I started to question everything I had known.

Now here I am 15 years later and I am still not sure. I have had many ups and downs. I was near death with my illnesses at one point and I never prayed or asked God to help me. I felt if I was going to die so be it. I have finally come to the realization after many years that people put too much on God. They think that he controls every aspect of our lives. They think he determines if you pass the NCLEX, their athletic performance, if they get a divorce or not. God does not control our lives. He is not in charge of every that occurs on this planet. A rain storm is not due to God, he will not magically give you money to get out of debt. I think that maybe he guides us. He shows us the right and wrong in the world and it is up to us to decide what to do with it. I don't think he judges us or makes us feel worse when we are down. He is just there for us at the end when we join him. That is somewhat what I have concluded. The fact that you got better is due to you. You got yourself better with the help of doctors. I think that maybe God laid the foundation for you to do it for yourself. I don't know if this makes any sense but it has been my way of thinking about it for the past year or so.

Nrs4Sunshine · May 18, 2014

What an amazing and inspirational testimony you have - thank you for sharing because what you have posted will give light to others who read it, and they too can find peace in calling upon God for help.

The way I see it, no human can prove there is a God, but nobody can prove that there isn't... therefore, if we all personally call upon God in times of joy, sorrow, or whatever it may be, then he will reveal to each of us that He really is there.

I've been through many horrible things that I never thought "could happen to me", but they did, and the ONLY reason that I am standing here today, with a positive outlook on life, just having gotten into Nursing School, is by the grace of God's love for me and every single person on this earth! I owe everything to Him.

It is really a sad thing that people are judged based on 'religion' or 'faith' these days and it's almost like you need to tip toe around and get to know someone before you show them who you really are and what you really believe.

When in the end, God is the only thing that can get us through life peacefully and joyfully despite anything we have to go through. Without trials or tragedies... some people may never find God. It's through pain that many people finally find Him.

Mysteriousdarkness · May 18, 2014

I feel more and more like.. Humans ARE god. We have the power to inflict massive damage on each other, on our environment, on the world around us, we have the power to hate, kill, rape, steal, destroy..

but we also have the power to love, heal, care, carry, protect... Why do we look into the sky and ask for a miracle? Why can't we BE the miracle? Humans do miracles everyday. The brother who donates a kidney to his sister. The stranger who stops at a car accident to lend a hand. The people who decide to become nurses or doctors... The people who go over and visit their neighbours because they're elderly and have no one else to check on them- just to make sure they're doing ok.

I think we ARE god, or god lives in each of us. I think if we used our talents, skills, and power for good, the world would be an amazing place. Much of the suffering is caused by fellow humans. And much of the joy, love and compassion is also from fellow humans.

i got help because other people we're guided by their compassion, caring, and kind nature to help me. Using an analogy- it's like I was on the floor and they reached down and pulled me back up. They could have walked by. Hell, they could have kicked me while I was down, they could have really laid it on thick, but they didn't. They helped me up. And the love and compassion of others is my miracle. It wasn't god that helped me- it was other people. Maybe they were led there by god, maybe they we're put in my path.

and now I want to be the miracle too- not as a nurse anymore, I can't be in that world. But you don't have to be a nurse to care for your fellow man. I want to be the person who sees a sad lonely hopeless soul who's reaching out for help and I want to be the one who reaches out and takes their hand. I'll take whatever opportunity I come across and assume that if I'm there then maybe I've been led there for the exact purpose to help that person, even if it's a simple hug, or helping them get help. I've been given help- now it's my job to keep sharing the love.

i saw my friend the other day displaying signs of depression- I could see it because I'd suffered it myself. If I hadn't suffered it I might not have known what she was suffering. Now I can give her the help others gave me- now I can lead her to the psychologists and doctors who can help her.

Isn't that what being human is all about?

Lev, MSN, RN, NP · May 18, 2014

There is order to the disorder, but many times all we can see is the surface. I don't think people are God, but I do think we are capable of emulating God. Our humanity is exemplified when we bring out our traits of care, compassion, mercy, and giving.

Guttercat, ASN, RN · May 18, 2014

Your questions are valid, and are central to every human who has and who ever will walk this earth. You are not alone, because these are the questions to which we, as humans, are all fundamentally driven to find the answers. Each one of us. Some might find it in nihilism and atheism, some might find it in many "gods" (aka, Hinduism), and some find it in watering and talking to their plants.

Keep this in mind: All beliefs can be false, but not all can be true. Furthermore, to assert that that there is no absolute truth, means that nothing can be claimed as good or bad; right or wrong. It just is. In an atheistic context, suffering and pain just... is. My question would be, is this a good enough answer for you?

I suggest reading the following works by Ravi Zacharias (worldwide, incredibly respected scholar/philosopher from all sides of the "god debate," a scientific mind, and a brilliant apologist in the case for the existence of God):

1.) "Can man live without God?"

2.) Forum topic "The Problem of Suffering" (Veritas Forum at Johns Hopkins University)

Also, C.S. Lewis: "The Problem of Pain."

My best to you in finding the answers you need. I haven't got it all figured out myself....

Alnitak7 · May 19, 2014

Preoccupation with religion and God can be a behavior addiction. Mentally disturbed people sometimes think they've had a revelation from God.

This does not mean that God doesn't exist. When I see evil, I don't want to jump to a conclusion that there is no God but still do completely understand this type of mindset.

Donnuh · May 19, 2014

I was a Buddhist but converted to Christianity a year ago. I will tell you my story as I believe God has a plan for everything. I was raised Buddhist, and my ancestors for the last few hundred years had been Buddhist. My great grandfather built a temple in my country in honor of our devotion to Buddha. Well, as a child I had always been curious about God, and wanted to know what and who God was. I would asked my mom but her answers were always vague. It did not satisfy me as my inner self was empty and thirsty for a deeper connection with God.

So throughout my college years I went back and forth between the idea of one day visiting a Christian church. I never did for years, and continued to feel empty and alone despite the family and friends I have in my life. I turned to the occult to to fill that void and emptiness. Well, my emptiness got worst and worst, and I was in debt now for spending thousands of dollars on my new found hobby. In 2009 I graduated from nursing school and continued to dabble in the occult for 2 years. During this time I would always think of God and prayed that I could learn about him more.

I could not find a nursing job for 2 years since my graduation. During that period I met and started to get to know a guy who talked to me about God, and taught me a great deal about God. We started dating and getting serious and in 2011 I relocated to Florida where I found a nursing job on a medical-surgical floor. There, I met my Charge Nurse on the medical-surgical unit. If you meet her, you would feel and see the compassion and love radiates through her from God. I told her that I wanted to know more about God, and she introduced me to her church and helped me grew closer to him. I went to her church for 6 months before I decided I was ready to be baptized and become a Christian and a child of God. It was the best decision in my life.

Everything in my life started to fall into place then. After 2 years of being on the med-surg floor I found a Labor and Delivery job that was very competitive but I got hired on the spot despite having no experience in L and D. At this point I had been in Florida for almost 3 years. I wanted to move back to California because that was where my family resided, and I had been trying to find a job in California since I have gotten some experience but had no luck. Well, my aunt works at a store. She met this lovely lady who told her she works as a secretary at one of the hospital in the area I wanted to move back to. So I gave her my resume, not knowing what area she worked in. It turned out she was in Labor and Delivery, and had been a secretary there for 20+years! I was so surprised when I heard this, because I thought I would be going back to the medical-surgical floor! I interviewed, got the job despite only having a year experience and now I am back in California. (The hospital is a Magnet status hospital and is fairly competitive for hiring) I am more than halfway through with paying off the debts I owned from my occult hobby. I am happier than ever, I speak to God daily, and I witnessed miracles every day I am at work! A patient I recently met told me that she had IVF with her first pregnancy because she couldn't get pregnant, but her baby that I helped delivered was a gift. She did not think she would be able to get pregnant again! She told me it was God's gift and that she prayed to him daily!

So Mysteriousdarkness, if believing in God and your connection with him give you peace and happiness then you are doing the right thing and you have found him! Trust me, I had a lot of criticism and judgement from people for becoming a Christian. My family, friends, and even strangers and etc. I do not care what others have to say. Some people tell me that my life is happier because I made it to be. Ok, well let me ask them this: How come a few years ago when I tried to make my life happier by dabbling in the occult I was horrible and depressed? But now that I have a connection with God I am happier than ever? :yes:

It awed me that we live in a time where believing in God could be considered a bad thing. People have told me that only irrational people believe in a being that does not exist because there is no scientific evidence that God exists. These people had never experienced a relationship with God in which he could melt your sorrows away with a simple prayer, or give you strength when you are ready to give up. Let me tell you guys this, Labor and Delivery for a fairly new nurse on a super busy floor is very challenging.

There are many days I wanted to quit and just change specialty or do something else. But when I think of how I got to where I am, I stay strong and when I pray to God my heart tells me its not time to change yet. I believe God have lessons in life he wants you to learn, once you have learned that lesson he will proceed you to the next. My lesson in life right now is to stay strong and grit my teeth through the challenges at work (I want to quit daily :eek: ) because he will never place me in a situation he think I am too weak for!

Here.I.Stand, BSN, RN · Jun 8, 2014

Yes, there is a God, and I'd love to tell you about Him! Send me a PM if you'd be open to "hearing"...even if that day isn't today but a year from now. I won't forget. :)

The issue of human suffering has been around almost since we as humans have. The Christian Bible says that suffering is the result of the sin that is part of our world. "Therefore, just as sin came into the world through one man, and death through sin, and so death spread to all men because all have sinned..." (Romans 5:12) Why God allows it...that's a very tough question that we may never fully understand. But the same God that allowed the holocaust to happen is the same God that allowed Dietrich Bonhoeffer to speak against it, and the same God that allowed Nazi Germany to be defeated before the entire Jewish people was annihilated. The God that allows sickness and disease is the same God that has given us the knowledge, hands, and hearts to come alongside our pts and help ease their suffering.

Actually for me, knowing how depraved humankind is, the bigger question is NOT "how can a good God allow this?" but "Why does God even give us a chance? Why doesn't he just snuff us all out like bugs under His shoe?"

TriciaJ, RN · Jun 8, 2014

OP, you seem to believe what I have believed for a very long time. I don't think of "god" as some discrete being somewhere, sort of a vindictive Santa Clause. I think we tend to anthropomorphize the deity because our limited human minds have to think of it that way. I do believe the divine spark is in all of us, all of nature. We can strive to live in harmony with it, or try to run our own program. When you asked for help in a sense of utter depletion, you finally went outside your linear mind and connected with the divinity in you and the universe. Any everything came together at that point.

When we get ourselves outside our skeptical, analytical minds and let ourselves be guided by the divine spark inside us, things seem to work better. Not always as we planned, but often in a better way that we couldn't have planned for. I've cared for people whose illnesses I wouldn't wish on my worst enemy, yet they tell me of some unexpected gift that came from the whole crummy experience.

As long as people are motivated by greed, malice, etc, we will have evil in the world. When people choose to connect with their divine selves, things turn out a lot better.

kakamegamama · Jun 16, 2014

OP--I concur with Here.I. Stand. Please feel free to PM me with questions, if you would like to, and I will be happy to address them as well (Here.I.Stand beat me to the punch :) ). Hang in there. He is there, I promise.