A Matter of Respect and Dignity: Bullying in the Nursing Profession

Not_A_Hat_Person, RN · Apr 21, 2011

I've been bullied in a non-nursing job. Bullies are very good at isolating their prey. Calling them out or standing up to them can actually make things worse, especially if the bully is protected by the higher-ups.

One of the worst bullies I even encountered was the relative of someone in accounting. Another let everyone know from day 1 that she'd successfully sued a previous employer for unlawful termination. HR wouldn't touch her with a 10-foot-pole, she knew it, and she made sure everyone else knew it. The CEO was the biggest bully of all.

Five&Two Will Do · Apr 21, 2011

I guess some folks are just so darned insecure that they have to bully others at work to make themselves feel good.

pedicurn, LPN, RN · Apr 21, 2011

How do you stand up to a bully.?

1. Observe the behaviour closely

2. Define the behaviour in one or two short objective sentences (no 'I feel'). Link the behaviour to HR policy or generally accepted stds about harrassment. Prepare your response. It needs to be short/sharp/quick/positive/non-offensive.

Say nothing to the bully at this stage. Just closely observe. Say nothing to anyone.

3. Wait until the bully does it again

4. Immediately say to bully ' We need a quick word away from coworkers and p't area. Insist on this now (not later, not after days off, not during break)

5. Take bully to private area away from p't area (this is very important. Bullies can try and trip you up with this one .... all 'quiet words' must be in private)

6. Calmly state your prepared one to two short sentences.

7. Finish with 'I am requesting that this behaviour stops'

Willow Moonsidhe · Apr 21, 2011

All was well until a new assistant nurse manager was employed. Within days it was clear that this new hire had zoned in on this established RN and there was a flurry of verbal embarrassments, write ups for minor situations and gossip all with the focus on this wonderful nurse. All originated by the new assistant nurse manager. No matter what she did there was always trouble from the new hire. There were meetings with the Nurse manager her new assistant nurse manager and this established faithful employee with no resolve. The chief nurse manager despite years of working together would not come to her defense and seemed to enjoy the new hire method of illicit fact finding and so called discipline.

Oh my gosh this sounds like what I went through this past year. I wish I had the clarity to do what that nurse did. I think the whole thing flustered me so much I did not know how to respond. I was going to add a tag about what do you do when the new manager is the bully but you summed up a good way to handle this. My Director actually sat with tears in her eyes trying to help me cope with the new manager but I thought if you feel so much for me why do you let her get by with it. My answer was to leave and just move on somewhere else with my career even though I had kept a notebook with all the facts to protect myself. I did not know you could call in a lawyer to straighten things out. I felt like the manager was almost purely evil she would even make up things that did not happen to write me up. Thanks so much for sharing this and hopefully I will not run into this situation again but if I do I will remember this.

~Willow

morte, LPN, LVN · Apr 21, 2011

"it pretty much boils down to "you get what you put up with"
it would not surprise me if there is some disagreement with this thought however i also agree with the similar notion ....that i have learned well by example from a very experienced colleague.
there one time was a wonderful rn who lead by example, taught many new staff and was thought of as a humble yet brilliant example of what the profession should be. she was total class and i loved having her as mentor.
all was well until a new assistant nurse manager was employed. within days it was clear that this new hire had zoned in on this established rn and there was a flurry of verbal embarrassments, write ups for minor situations and gossip all with the focus on this wonderful nurse. all originated by the new assistant nurse manager. no matter what she did there was always trouble from the new hire. there were meetings with the nurse manager her new assistant nurse manager and this established faithful employee with no resolve. the chief nurse manager despite years of working together would not come to her defense and seemed to enjoy the new hire method of illicit fact finding and so called discipline.
the history of the unit disintegrated into shambles and all of us felt like we were walking on eggs. many expressed feelings of being afraid of who would be next. anyone of us who expressed their thinking that this was unfair was also. some suggested to their friend to avoid the abuse by transferring / others recommended new employment and others suggested that perhaps it was time to retire or just quit.
it was a horrible thing to watch. all felt helpless and powerless.
i will never forget the monday when there was phone call that the nurse manager and new assistant nurse manager were called to a meeting immediately. this was totally unexpected and happened during a very busy day as rounds were going on. the charge nurse was assured by them that they would return before rounds began.
neither came back to the floor who was notified that they would not be back for the rest of the shift. no big thought to this as it was assumed some big wig administrative meeting was happening as it often did in this large heath care setting.
the next day we were informed by the nurse manager that she was relinquishing her position in two weeks and would work as a staff nurse after that. also the new nurse manager would immediately be transferred to the night shift on another unit at a sister hospital.
well a few days later it all came out what had occurred at this sudden meeting.
when they went to the room where they were requested -- the hospitals administrator,hospital legal counsel, the risk manager, human resources and don were waiting for them.
after the door was closed it was made known that a letter from an attorney arrived. in this was specific times, dates and witnesses pertaining to the harassment of the established nurse that had occurred. the letter also indicated that attorney was in possession of all incidents reports and employee warnings that had been given to the nurse since the new asst manager was hired and it was documented that that she never received one prior in her 10yrs of work history.
further it stated that there was a in legal possession various tape recordings of the last three "counseling sessions" that she was given where she was referred to as old and lacking in intelligence as well as her integrity was questioned in loud and abusive manner. in some states one does not need permission of all to make a tape recording.
finally it was mentioned that a copy of all of this had been sent to jcaho as there was no policy in the procedure manual nor was there any history of in-services or policy regarding lateral violence that was made available to staff. in conclusion a cc was being sent to the dept of labor requesting a state investigation for allowing a hostile work environment.
the letter offered resolve that included removal of both managers immediately or the hospital will face litigation with a release to the press of such.
i approached my mentor sincerely offering my admiration for her strength and wisdom in the face of such adversity.she looked at me ever so kind yet with a sly smile she and said "remember this saying and it will serve you well.... there are no victims only volunteers." it has served me well for years. it also served her well as she retired on her terms several years later. i miss her much.
i have never forgotten this and never will. in conclusion i just posted and firmly believe that when nurses as a whole profession and as individuals do not tolerate abuse and show that there is accountability for such actions directed toward us and our patients that such abuse will stop.
when put in such situations of dangerous compromise it is appropriate to have heavy consequence and actions that are proportionate to such risk.
negotiation and denial of the veracity of such situations not only tolerates but promotes that which is clearly never acceptable as a person or as a professional.
marc
ps - both the nurse manager and displaced assistant nurse manager "resigned" within a month of the administrative action. were they missed ? - hell no well maybe by each other lol
marc

as has been said before the only thing wrong with this post is that i can only give it one "kudo"!

i would like to have seen the asst reported to the board for lying/harrasment, however....

TheCommuter, BSN, RN · Apr 21, 2011

Blaming the victims is not the right way to go.

I respectfully disagree with those that say that the victims make themselves targets.

I'm not blaming the victim or saying that they make themselves targets. I'm stating that bullies seek out specific types of people that are, in their minds, easy targets.

metal_m0nk, BSN, RN · Apr 21, 2011

I'm not blaming the victim or saying that they make themselves targets. I'm stating that bullies seek out specific types of people that are, in their minds, easy targets.

The bolded part is where I believe the real problem lies. The first step toward recovery is admitting you have a problem (not you as in you, but you as in the general you - just so there's no confusion).

KeepItRealRN, BSN, RN · Apr 21, 2011

I'm not blaming the victim or saying that they make themselves targets. I'm stating that bullies seek out specific types of people that are, in their minds, easy targets.

Just to clarify do you mean in the bully's mind the person is an easy target, or does the victim in his/her mind think he/she is an easy target?

79Tango · Apr 21, 2011

I am not blaming "Victims" either.. I simply stated I no longer feel sorry for the 2 that I work with. In my case they bring it upon themselves and I believe they will ALWAYS be the "victim." I am too busy to waste anymore time defending or trying to prop them up and make them feel good. Especially as they try to involve anybody that will listen. They actually expect people to take sides.. Who cares!

Chin up · Apr 21, 2011

I have never been a victim or witnessed any bullying, but in my very limited experience with the accusation, the people complaining have been big whiners that can't be taken seriously anyway.

Classic, textbook response...from a bully!

pedicurn, LPN, RN · Apr 21, 2011

Classic, textbook response...from a bully!

Well no ...there is another explaination and it seems a bit rash to rush in and insinuate this poster is a bully.

There are nurses who don't objectively study a negative interaction ...they instantly label all negative interactions as 'bullying'.

These ones are the ' I feel' brigade and suffer from a chronic deficiency of professional level information handling skills.

If every interaction they don't like is 'bullying' then it is hard to take them seriously.

They fail to differentiate the offhand / rude / jerk responses from bullying and these are the winers. They knee-jerk right into the managers office with stories of 'bullying'

Perhaps these are the nurses the poster is referring to ?

PS. Managers have a responsibility to sort these ones out. They cause a lot of problem in my work place. Working with several of them is like walking on eggshells .... you never know when they are going to be 'offended'. It is safer to reduce interaction with them.

I tell them nothing about my private life.

But I don't think they are mostly bullies .... however they do waste a lot of managerial time and aggravate coworkers / reduce retention.

These are the ones who make me feel like I've wasted time/money/effort getting an education

79Tango · Apr 21, 2011

Originally Posted by linearthinker

"I have never been a victim or witnessed any bullying, but in my very limited experience with the accusation, the people complaining have been big whiners that can't be taken seriously anyway."

This is SO true! We are supposed to be leaders and setting a Professional example on the floor. Not walking around with a Poopy face telling anyone that will listen "So&So" is being mean again... WHAT? And then they wonder why nobody else takes them seriously.. all the way down to the CNA level!