A Matter of Respect and Dignity: Bullying in the Nursing Profession

Chin up · Apr 21, 2011

Well no ...there is another explaination and it seems a bit rash to rush in and insinuate this poster is a bully.
There are nurses who don't objectively study a negative interaction ...they instantly label all negative interactions as 'bullying'.
These ones are the ' I feel' brigade and suffer from a chronic deficiency of professional level information handling skills.
If every interaction they don't like is 'bullying' then it is hard to take them seriously.
They fail to differentiate the offhand / rude / jerk responses from bullying and these are the winers. They knee-jerk right into the managers office with stories of 'bullying'
Perhaps these are the nurses the poster is referring to.

I did not call her a bully, I called the response, a textbook response. No different from a beater, to say, "she made me do it" and since the term whiner is subjective, what is your definition? And please finish your thought and tell me the other explanation. Peace!

pedicurn, LPN, RN · Apr 22, 2011

I did not call her a bully, I called the response, a textbook response. No different from a beater, to say, "she made me do it" and since the term whiner is subjective, what is your definition? And please finish your thought and tell me the other explanation. Peace!

I think 'whiners' are often not the bullied. They are the subjective ' I feel' .... someone has been nasty to me types and now I'm upset.

Social development stopped at about age 10.

If we think back to when we were children. When we had a problem at school and ran to the teacher with ' Susie has made me upset again .... bohoooo'.

At what age are we told ? ..... ' ok I understand you are upset, but what actually happened here' ? 'Lets look at the facts'

These ones didn't move on from .... ' Susie is bully because I feel upset'

Really do we expect to find these immature winers in medicine? Law? Engineering?

They are shockers and embarrass the rest of us. Contribute to the image problem we have as professionals.

I believe it's quite appropriate to separate these ones from the bullied. And perhaps that is the group linearthinker was referring to?

And the others? Probably bullies.

nursefocker · Apr 22, 2011

It's my belief that those who bully, or "eat their young" usually have low self esteem for whatever reason. People generally act that way when they feel inadequate about themselves. I have been bullied myself and it doesn't feel good at all!! Over the years I've noticed a pattern( generally speaking). Not just in nursing , but in all walks of life... bottom line is if someone feels the need to blow their own horn..or worse yet, throw someone under the bus.. they usually have insecurities of their own! I hate to generalize.. bc sometimes someones just having a bad day.. but we've all met "them" right? The nurse that's never wrong and knows Everything!!! I don't tolerate it, I confront them on their behavior.. I want to work with coworkers who have my back .. not stab me in it!! I do make mistakes.. I'm human. If I do, please take me aside and nicely give me your point of view . This is a huge problem for nurses, other profesionals and worst of all.. our children.!!

pedicurn, LPN, RN · Apr 22, 2011

It's my belief that those who bully, or "eat their young" usually have low self esteem for whatever reason. People generally act that way when they feel inadequate about themselves. I have been bullied myself and it doesn't feel good at all!! Over the years I've noticed a pattern( generally speaking). Not just in nursing , but in all walks of life... bottom line is if someone feels the need to blow their own horn..or worse yet, throw someone under the bus.. they usually have insecurities of their own! I hate to generalize.. bc sometimes someones just having a bad day.. but we've all met "them" right? The nurse that's never wrong and knows Everything!!! I don't tolerate it, I confront them on their behavior.. I want to work with coworkers who have my back .. not stab me in it!! I do make mistakes.. I'm human. If I do, please take me aside and nicely give me your point of view . This is a huge problem for nurses, other profesionals and worst of all.. our children.!!

which children? ...the ones at work or at home?

Sorry I couldn't resist :lol2:

**NickiLaughs, ADN, BSN, RN** · Apr 22, 2011

I respectfully disagree with this statement. Whether you realize it or not, certain people are targeted for bullying due to a couple of specific reasons. Also, I believe that a person who does not demand respect in the workplace is ultimately responsible for the poor treatment that will soon follow.
Have you ever wondered why some people are always victimized by bullies and other people are always left alone? I have observed that bullies always target certain individuals, and at the same time, leave the other people on the unit alone. Unfortunately, it's all about perception. If you are perceived as a softy or a pansy who will not stand up to the bully, you'll be targeted for further harassment. If you're perceived as someone who will put up resistance and not allow anyone to run over you, then the bully will quickly know to leave you alone because you're now viewed as too difficult of a target.
In a nutshell, bullies love easy targets. They thrive on people who will not do anything in response to the bullying. Bullies avoid harder targets and tend to steer clear of people who will openly resist being pushed around.
Bullying is a crime of opportunity. Bullies prey on the most opportune targets: people who are less likely to respond in a defensive manner to the bullying. Also, if nothing is done during the first instance of bullying, the bully will continue the rampage, because he/she knows that he/she can get away with it.

That's like saying someone was raped because of an outfit she wore. Regardless of bullies finding easy targets, they are still being inappropriate in what should be a professional environment.

TheCommuter, BSN, RN · Apr 22, 2011

That's like saying someone was raped because of an outfit she wore.

Saying that someone was raped because of the outfit she wore is akin to blaming the victim.

Again, I'll reaffirm that I'm not blaming the victim or stating that they make themselves targets. I'm asserting that bullies tend to victimize specific profiles of people who are, in their minds, very easy to target. Bullies prefer to push over on those who will not fight back.

TheCommuter, BSN, RN · Apr 22, 2011

It's my belief that those who bully, or "eat their young" usually have low self esteem for whatever reason. People generally act that way when they feel inadequate about themselves.

http://www.clinicalpsychiatrynews.com/views/reel-life-by-dr-roland-atkinson/blog/tales-of-teen-bullying/81205df938.html

There is no evidence that bullies have low self-esteem. Though contrary to the popular belief, bullies tend to be confident individuals who are proud of their capacity to dominate others.

StNeotser, ASN, RN · Apr 22, 2011

http://www.npr.org/blogs/health/2011/04/22/135608823/many-bullies-get-pushed-around-at-home

yalienne · Apr 22, 2011

"it pretty much boils down to "you get what you put up with"
it would not surprise me if there is some disagreement with this thought however i also agree with the similar notion ....that i have learned well by example from a very experienced colleague.
there one time was a wonderful rn who lead by example, taught many new staff and was thought of as a humble yet brilliant example of what the profession should be. she was total class and i loved having her as mentor.
all was well until a new assistant nurse manager was employed. within days it was clear that this new hire had zoned in on this established rn and there was a flurry of verbal embarrassments, write ups for minor situations and gossip all with the focus on this wonderful nurse. all originated by the new assistant nurse manager. no matter what she did there was always trouble from the new hire. there were meetings with the nurse manager her new assistant nurse manager and this established faithful employee with no resolve. the chief nurse manager despite years of working together would not come to her defense and seemed to enjoy the new hire method of illicit fact finding and so called discipline.
the history of the unit disintegrated into shambles and all of us felt like we were walking on eggs. many expressed feelings of being afraid of who would be next. anyone of us who expressed their thinking that this was unfair was also. some suggested to their friend to avoid the abuse by transferring / others recommended new employment and others suggested that perhaps it was time to retire or just quit.
it was a horrible thing to watch. all felt helpless and powerless.
i will never forget the monday when there was phone call that the nurse manager and new assistant nurse manager were called to a meeting immediately. this was totally unexpected and happened during a very busy day as rounds were going on. the charge nurse was assured by them that they would return before rounds began.
neither came back to the floor who was notified that they would not be back for the rest of the shift. no big thought to this as it was assumed some big wig administrative meeting was happening as it often did in this large heath care setting.
the next day we were informed by the nurse manager that she was relinquishing her position in two weeks and would work as a staff nurse after that. also the new nurse manager would immediately be transferred to the night shift on another unit at a sister hospital.
well a few days later it all came out what had occurred at this sudden meeting.
when they went to the room where they were requested -- the hospitals administrator,hospital legal counsel, the risk manager, human resources and don were waiting for them.
after the door was closed it was made known that a letter from an attorney arrived. in this was specific times, dates and witnesses pertaining to the harassment of the established nurse that had occurred. the letter also indicated that attorney was in possession of all incidents reports and employee warnings that had been given to the nurse since the new asst manager was hired and it was documented that that she never received one prior in her 10yrs of work history.
further it stated that there was a in legal possession various tape recordings of the last three "counseling sessions" that she was given where she was referred to as old and lacking in intelligence as well as her integrity was questioned in loud and abusive manner. in some states one does not need permission of all to make a tape recording.
finally it was mentioned that a copy of all of this had been sent to jcaho as there was no policy in the procedure manual nor was there any history of in-services or policy regarding lateral violence that was made available to staff. in conclusion a cc was being sent to the dept of labor requesting a state investigation for allowing a hostile work environment.
the letter offered resolve that included removal of both managers immediately or the hospital will face litigation with a release to the press of such.
i approached my mentor sincerely offering my admiration for her strength and wisdom in the face of such adversity.she looked at me ever so kind yet with a sly smile she and said "remember this saying and it will serve you well.... there are no victims only volunteers." it has served me well for years. it also served her well as she retired on her terms several years later. i miss her much.
i have never forgotten this and never will. in conclusion i just posted and firmly believe that when nurses as a whole profession and as individuals do not tolerate abuse and show that there is accountability for such actions directed toward us and our patients that such abuse will stop.
when put in such situations of dangerous compromise it is appropriate to have heavy consequence and actions that are proportionate to such risk.
negotiation and denial of the veracity of such situations not only tolerates but promotes that which is clearly never acceptable as a person or as a professional.
marc
ps - both the nurse manager and displaced assistant nurse manager "resigned" within a month of the administrative action. were they missed ? - hell no well maybe by each other lol
marc

omg, i love this story. i will remember it for as long as i live. thank you for sharing.

Chin up · Apr 22, 2011

I think 'whiners' are often not the bullied. They are the subjective ' I feel' .... someone has been nasty to me types and now I'm upset.
Social development stopped at about age 10.
If we think back to when we were children. When we had a problem at school and ran to the teacher with ' Susie has made me upset again .... bohoooo'.
At what age are we told ? ..... ' ok I understand you are upset, but what actually happened here' ? 'Lets look at the facts'
These ones didn't move on from .... ' Susie is bully because I feel upset'
Really do we expect to find these immature winers in medicine? Law? Engineering?
They are shockers and embarrass the rest of us. Contribute to the image problem we have as professionals.
I believe it's quite appropriate to separate these ones from the bullied. And perhaps that is the group linearthinker was referring to?
And the others? Probably bullies.

I love this, but let's go further. Why, I absolutely hate, psycho- babble. Those same "whiners" have been taught all through the late 80's and 90's, this is how you handle it. We are taught in college, emotional leadership 101, to begin all conflict resolution with, "I feel" or any "i" statement. We are taught, what we feel is king and we are NOT, to abdicate that feeling, at any cost. We must, make others responsible for making us feel this way and they must acknowledge our feelings whether true or not, because they are our feelings. Feelings being entirely subjective, are never wrong..

So to answer your question, yes they are engineers, judges, journalist and psychiatrist. But, my question to you is, how do you separate them and how do you know she, who has never seen bullying or been a victim, discern the truth from fiction? If you think about it, to say you never witnessed bullying is far fetched. Credibility is lost quickly, with a statement like that. It is like the folks that never saw racism or sexism. Really? But to the point, isn't it better to err on the side of caution when it comes to a serious issue as bullying, than dismiss those reaching out, as immature whiners? Are you not, contributing to their pain and not only that, could even be the last straw, that they end their life? Just something to think about.... I do not see bogey men around every corner and I surely don't cry wolf. I have the thickest skin of anyone I know, but even in my toughness, I can see pain and surprisingly, discern the wounds of others. I would never dismiss a cry for help as "chicken little" for I am not God and can't see in peoples hearts. I would rather be put out some and be found I was wrong, than do nothing and let someone suffer. Peace!

Chin up · Apr 22, 2011

http://www.clinicalpsychiatrynews.com/views/reel-life-by-dr-roland-atkinson/blog/tales-of-teen-bullying/81205df938.html

With all due respect, that quote was in reference to a film, and the study was done using children. Elementary school to be exact.

Chin up · Apr 22, 2011

OMG, I love this story. I will remember it for as long as I live. Thank you for sharing.

I love it too and plan to bring it up in class next week. Peace!