A Call for Help. Nuuuuurse!

NursieRN · Aug 6, 2008

Hi, I'm sorry about your friend, and for the lack of responses! I'm glad she is in rehab now, hopefully she is feeling well.

Trauma Columnist · Aug 6, 2008

I too am sorry for your lack of responses. Some people purposefully look at specific forums (or don't look as the case may be).

Hope your friend is doing well.

billyehaynes · Aug 6, 2008

Hope your friend is doing well. Remeber easy does it and try to be patient and tolerant. Dont rely on you own understanding. Pass that info along to you friend as well. I will also try to live as such. God bless you.

Thunderwolf, MSN, RN · Aug 8, 2008

My best to your friend and recovery. Also, it is good to know that she was able to reach out to you, come clean with you, and move forward in treatment. It is good to have friends such as yourself...to cheer her on in sobriety.

Big hugs.

Brantine · Aug 27, 2008

hi. your friend took the first step of a lifetime recovery as we are never cured. You're a good friend. Be prepared for more possible heartache as this disease is tortuous. I'm an addict in recovery after almost dying several times. prayer with you.

thmpr · Dec 15, 2008

Thank you to all of you who shared such kind words and support. This is very difficult for me.

This experience has had its twists and turns which consequently have changed my perspective on addiction. It was an awkward and scary thing to see someone I have trusted for so many years become vulnerable to narcotics. She and I both have cared for numerous patients who have lost their lives and/or lost themselves to drugs. One would think this would have given her strength to avoid the apparent inevitable. In hindsight I question whether it was actually a driving force.

I felt guilty for not recognizing that there was a problem sooner. I do realize that she likely could have won an Oscar for her performance. Who suspects the clean cut mother, wife, and charge nurse to be plotting her next fix? Well, I not only failed to accept what was in front of me, I recall several years ago giving her pn meds I had left over from my arm surgery. It never even occurred to me that the pharmacy was not closed. What kind of a nurse/friend am I?

I am most challenged by trusting her. It is as though she cannot win with me. She successfully completed three months of rehab and is collaborating with the BN. I still don't trust. A few weeks ago she called me from a clinic where she was being seen for a migraine. She told me that she had explained to the nurse that she was in recovery. The minute our conversation ended I called her nurse to tell her myself. Sooner or later, if I don't figure out how to support her, I'm afraid I won't have the opportunity any longer. How can I trust her when I don't trust her addiction? And I can't be co-dependent with her.

I understand the physiology of chronic pain. But I don't know what the solution is. Do you? I see that she needs a plan for coping with her chronic pain so she can manage her addiction. Surely her doc would have discussed with her. Right?

Thanks for the ear and advice.

vlynn4 · Dec 15, 2008

I think some people read posts like this and don't feel qualified to give a "correct" response that will be helpful -- so they don't respond at all (hoping someone else will say something helpful.) I don't know if there is much to say that helps, but after watching my son struggle with alcohol for years, I know how painful it is and how hard it was to regain trust that he would remain sober and be truthful. He has been sober for over 2 years now -- and is a completely different person. (Thank God!)

It is very difficult to trust someone again when they are struggling with an addiction. If they are truly in recovery, they will understand... up to a point. After three months of sobriety, I would keep my eyes open, but be willing to take a leap of faith and expect the best. It's also more supportive for her success at this point. You don't have to feel it -- just fake it and trust will come in time. (Or she'll blow it -- but at least she won't be blowing it because she believes she can't win anyway.)

My prayers are with you both.

BEDPAN76 · Dec 15, 2008

Thmpr, she is very lucky to have a friend like you. I know it isn't easy but don't give up on her. It could have been you. My best wishes for you both , and keep posting.:giftbox:

OC85 · Dec 15, 2008

I think some people read posts like this and don't feel qualified to give a "correct" response that will be helpful -- so they don't respond at all (hoping someone else will say something helpful.) I don't know if there is much to say that helps, but ...

I think thats part of it. Also, you can't really blame people for a lack of response when you simply posted a statement with no question and no request for advice.

sallyrnrrt, ADN, RN · Dec 16, 2008

You are headed in the right direction, your friend is fortunate.

One of the things that comes with some sobriety is a reduction in our

self centered orientation.

Don't be judgemental, some of us honestly have had a devil of a time signing in to post replies, due to a password fluke..... honest :no:

Magsulfate, BSN, RN · Dec 16, 2008

I think thats part of it. Also, you can't really blame people for a lack of response when you simply posted a statement with no question and no request for advice.

True, and to be honest, you probably didn't want responses from those first 45 people.. there are only a limited number of people that visit this thread that you REALLY want to hear from. And there are a limited number of nurses experienced with impairment or drug rehabilitation,,, much less nursing impairment and rehab.. And a question for advice might have helped a little.