Lost my husband on Holiday Break

Specialties School

Published

I haven't been on here in awhile. I and my husband, an educator was enjoying our school Holiday Break-Christmas, Christmas Eve, New Year's Eve and New Years. But then without warning, on January 7, 2018, while preparing for bed, he collapsed in front of me. I did CPR and later with my oldest college son. My youngest college son called 911, EMS arrived within 7 minutes. I saw the flat line but thought I could get a miracle. About an hour later after working on him, they finally told us, we had did everything right. They had tried to help him as well but that unfortunately, he passed. ( I am still awaiting the death certificate cause of death. He was a diabetic for 25 years and had minor symptoms of CHF in the last year but was very active). I am still in shock and don't think I am living in the real world yet. So, here I am back at work, a week after the funeral because the school doesn't have paid bereavement days for the staff. Wow, I suddenly empathize with past and future survivors of lost loved ones. I wrote the board, but they only referred me to HR. I do have strong family support and old and new friend support. I feel better to be back at work 3 days away from the quiet house. Can anybody share any helpful advice? Thank you.

There are no words and I am so very sorry. What a shock to witness that, try to do everything and have those memories swirling around in your head. I lost my father unexpectedly at the end of November (I posted on here about it) and I have been talking to my stepmother a lot. They were soulmates and she is devastated. She says she is taking it one day at a time, and some days, minute by minute :( Our support, the support she has of friends, as well as a few widows she has been talking with has helped her some. Losing a spouse is a very different kind of loss from losing a parent (she has experienced both). Your boys will have their own special grief, but yours is a whole other kind. I am hoping you can find support though groups in your area, support of those who understand your pain and loss, as only someone in your shoes understands. I am so very sorry for your loss.

I don't have any advice other than what has been shared. I am so sorry for your loss (((hugs))).

Specializes in ED, School Nurse.

I am so very sorry for your loss. You and your family will be in my thoughts and prayers.

Specializes in Adult Primary Care.

I'm so sorry. Everyone here has given such good advice. I also think FMLA may qualify you for some time off when needed.

Specializes in School Nursing, Pediatrics.

I do not have any advice, but I am so sorry for your loss!!! You are in my thoughts and prayers!

Specializes in Peds, School Nurse, clinical instructor.

I am so very sorry for your loss. Prayers for you and your family.

Specializes in Education, FP, LNC, Forensics, ED, OB.

I, too, am so very sorry for the loss of your husband.

Recently, I almost lost my spouse and think about where I would be in my life right now ...

God bless you, Dimple58.

I'm so very sorry for your loss.

Specializes in NCSN.

It's hard not to cry while reading this. I am so sorry you are dealing with this sudden heartbreaking loss. We live in a world where you are expected to just pick yourself up by your bootstraps and get back to work no matter how painful the situation is, and sometimes it's just impossible to do that. I am glad you have strong support, and I am sorry your admin is lacking in empathy right now. You are in my thoughts and prayers.

So sorry to hear. :( Time is the only healer that has ever worked for me

Specializes in School Nursing.

My heart goes out to you and your family. I know this thread is already full of kindness and good advice-I unfortunately don't have any new advice of my own to offer-but just wanted to send some love your way. I can't imagine what it must have felt like to go through such trauma and I hope time will be kind and heal you and your sons.

Just...*HUG*

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