Bullies

MrNurse(x2), ADN · May 17, 2017

Tragic, simply tragic. My heart bleeds for the family. I would like to address the parent connection. I have an eighth grader that can "puke" on demand. He says he needs to go home first, then complains of nausea. He then proceeds to go to the bathroom and vomits into his bucket, never witnessed. I have offered that this may be anxiety driven to mom and dad and it ALWAYS results in 2 days off after. He has had full GI workup, but these parents don't want to acknowledge this child may be screaming for attention. We all assume parents will do what is best for a child, but the stigma of "psych" issues may preclude judgement.

kidzcare · May 17, 2017

We all assume parents will do what is best for a child, but the stigma of "psych" issues may preclude judgement.

I had a student who vomited almost daily from anxiety issues. Would this family be open to you saying something like "I've noticed this pattern and there don't seem to be any other symptoms. I'd like to see if after [kiddo] vomits, I could keep him in the nurse's office to see if it happens again (witnessed)?"

MrNurse(x2), ADN · May 17, 2017

I had a student who vomited almost daily from anxiety issues. Would this family be open to you saying something like "I've noticed this pattern and there don't seem to be any other symptoms. I'd like to see if after [kiddo] vomits, I could keep him in the nurse's office to see if it happens again (witnessed)?"

I have tried that, but mom comes very quickly to pick him up. His brother has told me he is fine when he is home for the days off. I believe mom keeps him home to prove it isn't anxiety.

kidzcare · May 17, 2017

I have tried that, but mom comes very quickly to pick him up. His brother has told me he is fine when he is home for the days off. I believe mom keeps him home to prove it isn't anxiety.

boo on them

Kooky Korky, BSN, RN · May 18, 2017

I have no idea why schools do not act, especially when they are given specific information they could easily follow up on. Instead they make blanket "This will not be tolerated" memos, as if the students are reading the emails they circulate. Suspend them and do not let them make up assignments. Period. You failed seventh grade? Shouldn't have been a bully. It will deter students when they see the schools mean business. Students suspended for bullying should be allowed back in school only after attending meetings with their parents and the admin. Have school law enforcement there if needed. The specific behavior should be discussed and explained in no uncertain terms as to why it is unacceptable. Sorry, I hate stories like this, now I'm prickly.

A good lawsuit, against the school and against the staff, might get them to act.

~Mi Vida Loca~RN, ASN, RN · May 18, 2017

I have tried that, but mom comes very quickly to pick him up. His brother has told me he is fine when he is home for the days off. I believe mom keeps him home to prove it isn't anxiety.

See and this sort of thing is what prompted my post. My son (not the one mentioned in this post, I had a gaggle of kids) but the one that would always try getting out of class, he would do the whole un-witnessed puking upset stomach excuse to try and get out of school. However, there would be no picking him up. LOL The nurse was got to a point she wouldn't even call me, she would check his vitals and send him back to class if he was fine.

This thread also reminded me of something else I had not seen until I moved here that I think is an excellent idea.

At 2 of the high schools here we have the teen health access center, or something like that. They have a main office but they have 2 satellite offices in the high schools. This is separate from the school nurse roll as this is under the umbrella of a PCP office. They can do physicals and labs and referrals, substance abuse education and drug testing and so on. They also have a mental health counselor that works a few days a week. They can bill Medicaid or whatever insurance the parent has. But since it's located in the school building it makes it very easy to access for the teens. My son was able to see the mental health worker once a week during one of his electives. He was able to get his sports physical and stuff without me having to figure it all out after work and before they closed and all of that. What I liked most though was having access to the mental health counselors right there on campus.

JenTheSchoolRN, BSN, RN · May 18, 2017

See and this sort of thing is what prompted my post. My son (not the one mentioned in this post, I had a gaggle of kids) but the one that would always try getting out of class, he would do the whole un-witnessed puking upset stomach excuse to try and get out of school. However, there would be no picking him up. LOL The nurse was got to a point she wouldn't even call me, she would check his vitals and send him back to class if he was fine.
This thread also reminded me of something else I had not seen until I moved here that I think is an excellent idea.
At 2 of the high schools here we have the teen health access center, or something like that. They have a main office but they have 2 satellite offices in the high schools. This is separate from the school nurse roll as this is under the umbrella of a PCP office. They can do physicals and labs and referrals, substance abuse education and drug testing and so on. They also have a mental health counselor that works a few days a week. They can bill Medicaid or whatever insurance the parent has. But since it's located in the school building it makes it very easy to access for the teens. My son was able to see the mental health worker once a week during one of his electives. He was able to get his sports physical and stuff without me having to figure it all out after work and before they closed and all of that. What I liked most though was having access to the mental health counselors right there on campus.

They have several of these in public high schools in the Boston area. They are great!

My school doesn't have one, but we do partner with a few outside mental health providers that come to the school and meet with several children throughout the day. We arrange a private space for them to do so. We have a full-time counselor, but she can only see so many students a day. Next year, we have two additional part-time counselors coming in to handle all of the student need.

As for anxiety puking. I also have one student who doesn't necessarily puke to get out of school, but pukes during high anxiety, even at home. Luckily, that student's mom and I have built a great relationship and are working together to help this student separate anxiety from "sick" puking. Student had been seeing a counselor in the past and stopped; when the visit started adding up to me at the beginning of the school year, I talked with the student's previous counselor at my school, reached out to mom, felt her out, suggested re-connecting with his outside counselor. Student has made strides from the beginning of the year to now. But, a parent has to be willing. If they aren't, well, it doesn't help anyone.

Here.I.Stand, BSN, RN · May 18, 2017

how horrible!! I can't even imagine. I was bullied a lot in middle school, by both girls and boys. (I'm female). Actually the ones who got physical were boys -- one spit on me, one shoved me, one threw a basketball at my head. I actually came very close to failing gym because I spent so many gym class periods in either the nurse's office or guidance office. See in gym, kids have more access to each other than in classrooms. (My gym teacher took pity on me and had me stay after school to teach me some gymnastics stuff, and I got credit for it.)

My grades overall plummeted.

I began self mutilating.

It made me physically ill with nausea and syncopal episodes. When my cardiac tests came back normal, the dr diagnosed it as panic attacks.

My self esteem was so low that when I was 13 I allowed a grown man to put his hands on me... I know that at that age it wasn't consensual, but I was willing. It didn't occur to me that this guy was a skeeze...he told me I was beautiful and sweet, and I was flattered.

And yes, I wanted to die.

The one good thing that came out of that mess was I developed a zero tolerance policy where my kids are concerned. They know that if something happens, I will become a Mama bear. :laugh:

I'm happy to say that my kids' schools are very proactive, but they deal with issues very quickly. Actually a few months ago, my 12 yr old son got punched in the face in the locker room. It was mostly empty, and this boy was staring at my son as he was changing. He said something like "What's wrong with you -- WHY are you watching me change?" The boy called him a stupid ***** and hit him. This was last period, and he looked upset when he got into the car. He told me what happened, and we went in so he could talk to the vice principal. She praised him for coming to her, assured him that the school does not tolerate that behavior, and assured him that he didn't need to worry about repercussions for telling. The next day she called me and said that while she can't discuss the discipline of another child, they had dealt with the situation. He hasn't had any more trouble.

Earlier in the year, my 10 yr old daughter came to me and said that she had seen a special needs child being taunted in the lunch room -- and that the taunts escalated when she started to cry. My daughter didn't know what to do, but she told me she was upset and asked if I could speak to her principal. I did email her and told the story as it had been told me. The principal told K that she was very proud of her for speaking up on the girl's behalf.

The thing that gets me is if it were adults on the job, this stuff would NEVER fly. Even mild bullying would be considered hostile to the work environment. But kids, who are on THEIR job (school) and who are less able to deal? No, it needs to be dealt with.

allnurses Guide · May 19, 2017

Tragic, simply tragic. My heart bleeds for the family. I would like to address the parent connection. I have an eighth grader that can "puke" on demand. He says he needs to go home first, then complains of nausea. He then proceeds to go to the bathroom and vomits into his bucket, never witnessed. I have offered that this may be anxiety driven to mom and dad and it ALWAYS results in 2 days off after. He has had full GI workup, but these parents don't want to acknowledge this child may be screaming for attention. We all assume parents will do what is best for a child, but the stigma of "psych" issues may preclude judgement.

Could be a budding Axis II (Attention seeking behavior in adolescence is one of the 1st signs.)

allnurses Guide · May 19, 2017

A good lawsuit, against the school and against the staff, might get them to act.

Been their tried that - even got into a my lawyer is bigger than your lawyer act. Problem is documentation they don't document incidents with students by name - they are "student 1 chased student 2 with a brick"

emilly.lynn · May 25, 2017

Very disturbing article! How can an eight years old child get so much stressed and take this kind of extreme action is beyond my imagination.