Bullies

LovingLife123 · May 13, 2017

How does an 8 year old know how to commit suicide or what the heck the consequences of doing that are? Where are the parents?

~Mi Vida Loca~RN, ASN, RN · May 13, 2017

I think bullying is worse in the sense that there is a lot more avenues to bully that are permanent. It used to be you got bullied at school, maybe the person moved on, maybe they didn't but it was mostly kept at specific times. Now you have the internet and social media to bully people and it will always be there. I think that in itself makes it so much worse.

As far as the 8 year old it was terrible, from what I had read the parents tried multiple times to get the school involved and was brushed off. From my understanding until the release of a tape the school tried to say the child fell and wasn't beat up. They don't state how the kid committed suicide, but 8 year olds can be pretty dang smart and I don't think I will jump on the bandwagon to automatically blame the parents.

pixierose, BSN, RN · May 13, 2017

How does an 8 year old know how to commit suicide or what the heck the consequences of doing that are? Where are the parents?

No. We are not jumping on the bandwagon of blaming the parents.

Sadly, the choice of suicide - and executing it - can happen in the blink of an eye.

It can happen to almost anyone.

I can't even imagine what was going on in this poor child's head. The fact that he was suffering from a head injury I'm sure didn't help. The pain and suffering to decide that death was the only way out ...

My heart bleeds for his family.

xoemmylouox, ASN, RN · May 13, 2017

I'm heartbroken for the family and for that kid. In most places bullying is not addressed. Schools refuse to intervene or cover up blatant occurrences. Police departments can't or won't step in either. Parents have little they can do. All I can say is if my kids start school and get harassed I'll be marching up to those rotten kids and addressing it myself. Now, there is a difference between "teasing" and all out torture. I don't want my kids to be snowflakes, but the crap that goes on is inexcusable. If going to the school, police, parents, or kids doesn't cut it - we will transfer.

SmilingBluEyes · May 13, 2017

I was bullied mercilessly from 6th to 8th grades and considered suicide myself many times. I honestly don't know what got me through it all. My parents never knew how I felt because when I tried to tell them, they told me it was my fault for not being able to make friends. I felt like I had no one on my side. Even my teachers were mean to me. I was chronically sick and depressed, often with horrible stomach problems and diarrhea/vomiting, I was so upset. I missed half my school year in 6th grade, too sick to go to school. It was an awful time; I was so lonely and sad.

I was hypersensitive when I was a parent as a result, and I watched my own kids for signs of them being bullied but they never were. They were more confident and able to make friends than I ever was. My daughter's school was unique and had a really nice program to tackle bullying head-on. She was in a group of kids selected to sit with younger kids who had no friends, at lunch. It was a wonderful program cause these kids were suddenly "cool", as the "big" 8th grader was eating with the lonely 3rd, 4th or 5th grader. They also hung out with them at recess, further cementing a relationship that lasted for years and benefitted both the lonely child and the one helping him/her. It boosted the younger child's confidence and the bullying stopped.

Schools and teachers need to step up and do more about bullying. You can't tell me, for one minute, teachers don't know who is being picked on or bullied and they need to stop it. Bullying has horrible consequences. Suicide being but one. Another extreme being the kid(s) going to school and killing classmates. Bullied kids grow up to be nervous adults with no confidence in themselves and those feelings last a lifetime, often stunting potential.

It's never ok to bully, harass or pick on anyone for any reason. Parents need to be accountable, too. If their kids are incorrigible, then they should be removed from the school and sent to an alternative school or homeschooled. They have no right to be there, hurting others. It's often the other way around, however. It's the bullied ones who end up being pulled out of school, which is the opposite of what should happen. It sends the wrong message that the bully always wins and can chase others out when he or she chooses to do so. The victim should not be re-victimized by being stigmatized or removed.

The child bullies often go on to be adult bullies and raise the next generation of bullies and on it goes. It has to be stopped.

Zyprexa · May 13, 2017

That 8 year old child was more than bullied, he was assaulted by other children, who continued to beat him even after he was unconscious, and the school covered it up. Obviously this must have been going on for some time, and I doubt this was the first time. I don't know all the details but I wonder if he went to his parents or a trusted adult to tell them what was going on. There must be more to this story that we don't know. I wonder if he was being abused in other ways as well. As for an 8 year old child knowing how to commit suicide, unfortunately anything can be googled. There are websites specifically showing people how to commit suicide, going step by step. I read somewhere that he hung himself from his bunk bed using a necktie

I almost cried when I read this story initially, and I don't cry easily. My heart breaks for the child and his poor parents.

LovingLife123 · May 14, 2017

No. We are not jumping on the bandwagon of blaming the parents.
Sadly, the choice of suicide - and executing it - can happen in the blink of an eye.
It can happen to almost anyone.
I can't even imagine what was going on in this poor child's head. The fact that he was suffering from a head injury I'm sure didn't help. The pain and suffering to decide that death was the only way out ...
My heart bleeds for his family.

I'm not blaming the parents. I'm asking where this was learned. An 8 year old should not be on social media.

Where did I blame the parents may I ask? You people certainly infer a lot on this site I noticed.

LovingLife123 · May 14, 2017

I think bullying is worse in the sense that there is a lot more avenues to bully that are permanent. It used to be you got bullied at school, maybe the person moved on, maybe they didn't but it was mostly kept at specific times. Now you have the internet and social media to bully people and it will always be there. I think that in itself makes it so much worse.
As far as the 8 year old it was terrible, from what I had read the parents tried multiple times to get the school involved and was brushed off. From my understanding until the release of a tape the school tried to say the child fell and wasn't beat up. They don't state how the kid committed suicide, but 8 year olds can be pretty dang smart and I don't think I will jump on the bandwagon to automatically blame the parents.

I did not blame the parents. The article states he hung himself with a neck tie. I was wondering where am 8 year old gets ideas to commit suicide as they cannot possibly grasp what that means.

pixierose, BSN, RN · May 14, 2017

I'm not blaming the parents. I'm asking where this was learned. An 8 year old should not be on social media.
Where did I blame the parents may I ask? You people certainly infer a lot on this site I noticed.

I "inferred" because you asked. To me, it appears to place some blame as in, "where are the parents, (insert 'why weren't they watching him properly')"? I never mentioned anything about social media.

It's amazing how resourceful 8-year-olds can be. It's frightening how resourceful a DESPERATE 8-year-old can be.

A child at such an age might not fully grasp the finality of such an act, yes. In that I am in agreement. In fact, a lot of older adults that I work with now state that their last thought as they took that overdose or jumped off that bridge (psych nurse) was that, "I wish I didn't just do that." It's immediate regret. But a child so young? He didn't stand a chance to survive a suicide attempt.

Mental anguish can make someone do desperate things.

~Mi Vida Loca~RN, ASN, RN · May 14, 2017

I did not blame the parents. The article states he hung himself with a neck tie. I was wondering where am 8 year old gets ideas to commit suicide as they cannot possibly grasp what that means.

Did I quote your post with my comment??? No I don't believe I did. I read this story a few days ago, when I read it originally they had not released how the child committed suicide. 8 year olds can grasp what suicide means. A lot of times they can't grasp that death is forever. They are in a cusp at this age where they might still think death is reversible, but they are also very curious about death. Children around this age also tend to view things as their fault. Kids must be picking on them because they are bad. They might not want to tell their parents because they are worried and fear they will be upset or that if they tell and mom gets upset or cries that it's their fault. Many many factors.

My comment about not jumping on the parent bandwagon was a general statement. Just about every debate and discussion I have seen regarding this case, just like many things on he internet, is always the "well where were the parents" Unless I quote YOU and tell YOU that you shouldn't blame the parents. Don't infer that I am talking about you. Which it's funny you would use that word along with "you people".

Julius Seizure · May 14, 2017

I think bullying is worse in the sense that there is a lot more avenues to bully that are permanent. It used to be you got bullied at school, maybe the person moved on, maybe they didn't but it was mostly kept at specific times. Now you have the internet and social media to bully people and it will always be there. I think that in itself makes it so much worse.

I agree. I don't know if this particular child had much (or any) exposure to social media, but I do think that is one factor that has changed from past generations. Before, you could go home and be away from the bullying. Now, with social media, the bullying can follow you home and even be in your pocket on your cell phone or tablet no matter where you are. As adults, it is easy to reason, "then just delete your social media account or don't look at it". But these are kids, their reasoning capacity is still in developing. To them, it may feel like there is no escape from the bullying and never will be.

On another point that I've seen mentioned...an 8 year old is about 3rd grade, correct? I certainly knew what suicide was as a 3rd grader. While I didn't contemplate doing it, I could have told you ways that people could commit suicide. One might see it on TV, read it in a book, hear adults or older siblings talking, etc. A kid doesn't have to be on social media to know these things.