Paranoid parents

  1. 2
    Don't you hate it when a bad nurse (or even a few of them) makes the whole profession look bad? I don't know if this family is paranoid or really had some bad experiences, but I kind of think it's the former.

    Went fill-in on a private case as a favor to a family member. So far I've been called 5 or 6 times in the past couple of months but have only been able to pick up 2 of the overnight shifts. The first night I worked (after a 4 hour non-paid orientation) mom "fell asleep" on the living room couch (baby is in the dining room, which is adjacent) and woke up 4-5 times to check on the baby and every time the vent or tube feeding alarmed. I didn't overthink it because I was a new person on the case and the baby hadn't been home long.

    Thursday I was available for a call-off but went in early because family member advised there had been some changes and I should get there early to get an updated orientation of the case from the evening nurse. I get there 2 hours early and follow the nurse around but she's being very, IDK, overly meticulous and careful with everything she's doing, especially considering neither mom or grandma are home. She shows me the updated "To-Do" lists we have to check off as we go, the whiteboard where we are to jot down "Deets" (how many soiled diapers, the exact time meds were given, when the feed was stopped, times the child was T&P, etc. Stuff that's in the narrative and on the med sheets but whatever...) She showed me where to sit now- a hardback chair with a tv tray on wheels, instead of the glider that was in the dining room for the nurses last time I was there and is now nowhere to be seen. She says loudly that there are new nursing notes the family generated but she left them in her car and she would go get them when the family came back.

    When mom arrives the nurse asks me to come outside with her because she's late to her next job and doesn't have time to come back in. When outside she advises the family utilizes multiple nanny cams and sometimes the family likes to leave and watch the live streams remotely just to try to catch people doing something wrong. She hates the case and feels paranoid, but the pay is good and her other case is very unpredictable with the child's health status. She gives me the paper, which she pulled out of the bag she had in the house. Yay, for nurses who like to give a heads up!

    I go back in to relieve the mom and she goes upstairs for all of 10 minutes, comes back downstairs with a blanket and her pillow and beds down on the couch. About halfway through the night, as she has woken up for every alarm or semi-loud movement, she says that she's over lazy nurses and can't get any sleep anymore because she's tired of nurses sleeping in her house and getting paid more than she makes to do it. She informs me that she's been sleeping on the couch sporadically since baby came home and every time she feels safe to sleep in her bed she regrets it because she catches the nurses asleep. It was very awkward. Mom finally went upstairs around 5 because she really wasn't getting any quality sleep. I can't be sure she wasn't up there watching me...

    I was so relieved when the day nurse came. I was giving report when grandma came downstairs and sat on the couch. She turned on the TV like she was about to watch Fox News but really kept staring at us as we did the small narc count and day nurse got the tube feed ready for the day. Day nurse told me that grandma watches everything she does almost all shift, sometimes taking notes, and this nurse has been their primary since baby came home! Crazy!!!!!
    poppycat and aspiringnurse1122 like this.
  2. 40 Comments so far...

  3. 5
    Well that sounds like a lovely working environment! [/sarcasm]

    I can't fault them the nanny cams. I would use them as well if I had a sick child or family member requiring PDN. I have seen too much abuse and neglect that occurs when people think no one is looking. Just a quick search on youtube proves that.

    Everything else just sounds over the top. They will be one of those families who can never keep nurses and then gets angry because they can't keep nurses. Very sad.
  4. 2
    Ugh, sounds like my first vent case. Like walking around on eggshells, but nobody ever fell asleep on that job. Not sure what the mom's deal was. I get being afraid for your child. I am not sure I would be able to sleep well myself and would probably be up with every alarm too. But, there is a line that gets crossed way too often.
    LadyFree28 and imintrouble like this.
  5. 8
    Well, they certainly would make the decision easy for me on this one. And I sure would like to meet that nurse that took you outside for the heads up! She's a rare gem in my book!
    SLHLPN, LadyFree28, nursel56, and 5 others like this.
  6. 2
    Yay for the heads up. Booooo for the paranoid family. I wouldn't stay on that case. I do my job well and take excellent care of my patients but I refuse to be watched like a criminal.
    poppycat and imintrouble like this.
  7. 7
    I can never be sure what I would or wouldn't do in any given situation. Usually.
    In this case I don't think I'd make it past a week.
    The treatment nurses receive in that home, is insulting and demeaning.
  8. 4
    Those cases suck. Good thing you have a nurse on your side on that case. I am one of those nurses that tries to share info if I can with the other nurses. I always hope they will do the same for me. But I'd say get out before something happens...they will find whatever they're looking for eventually. Or they get the nurse that tells on every other nurse and they like that nurse and you still get burned. Not worth it!
    poppycat, HisTreasure, imintrouble, and 1 other like this.
  9. 4
    I've worked with nurses that tell on other nurses. Those nurses usually **** off the family and end up gone off the case. Karma baby!
    SLHLPN, LadyFree28, eeffoc_emmig, and 1 other like this.
  10. 5
    I don't plan on going back on the case but I may. Money is money. It's just really uncomfortable there... even though I never actually saw a camera... She has a bunch of stuffed animals in and around the crib and I wonder if they are inside those. My husband said the evening nurse may be a ****-starter who is trying to discourage me from joining the case full time and she may be lying about about the nanny cams, but joining the case was never my intention. I know a lot of nurses try to get an "in" with being a fill-in, but that's not my end game at all.

    As am aside: I am a foster parent. I've had nurses in the home and agency mandated video monitoring in the rooms the FKs slept in. The video cameras (baby monitors, actually) were NEVER used to catch the nurses doing [anything] and I fully disclosed at the meet-and-greet that the cameras were there and why. Only a few nurses opted out, which I respected, and one nurse told me she NEVER works cases with cameras but since I was so upfront about it, she would try. She didn't last long but it had nothing to do with the camera issue. Cameras I'm fine with. Hidden/nanny cameras and blatant paranoia that someone is WAITING to do something evil or negligent to your child, I cannot.
    SLHLPN, LadyFree28, brillohead, and 2 others like this.
  11. 9
    I am totally not saying everyone involved doesn't have a reason to not want the case... But... Has anyone just stopped and talked to mom? Asked her what her concerns are and if she wants to talk about it? Assured her you were there to help her child? Honestly. Not being adversarial here. Just a thought. Maybe she is dealing with postpartum depression. Maybe something nasty happened in her past. Maybe she is feeling guilty that she has in some way caused her child this situation. I am absolutely behind you if this has all been done, but it's just a thought.
    SLHLPN, bellcollector, LadyFree28, and 6 others like this.


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